D & C at 19 weeks pregnant

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asumommy

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Hello all,

I was just informed yesterday that my baby is not going to make it to the age of viability. He has a fluid cyst on the back of his neck. There is no bladder and the left kidney isnt funtioning. Because of that, there is virtually no amniotic fluid for the baby to move and grow. He is in heart failure, and eventually will have a heart attack and, well, you know the rest. My doctor is recommending a D & C. I don’t know how I should feel about this. Any insights?

Loosing my baby.
 
When it has been medically determined that the baby has died then the necessary steps should be taken. This, I can only imagine, has got to be one of the most traumatic situations that any woman could be put through. My prayers are with you that all of your decisions are guided by the Holy Spirit.

I will offer tomorrow’s Mass for your intentions…God Bless you…Phillipians 4:13…teachccd :gopray:
 
:console: I am so terribly sorry for what you are going through. I know exactly how you must be feeling, as I have gone through the same thing. It is absolutely heartbreaking, but it is possible to get through this - in your own time. From my own experience, some people weren’t very sympathetic (I was only about 8 weeks along and certain people just kind of brushed it off as if it weren’t really a child yet), but it IS a child. You have every right to be sad, angry, disappointed and whatever else you feel. One thing that can never be taken away from you is the bond you and this special angel will forever have. You will always be his mother and he will ALWAYS be your son.

Take your own time to heal, pray, and ask God and His Holy Mother to guide you, for they will never let you down. I will pray for you and the baby at Mass tomorrow and offer my Rosary for your intentions.

God bless you and please know I am praying for you.
 
I am praying for you. I am so sorry for what you must be feeling.
Kathy
 
asumommy said:
Hello all,

I was just informed yesterday that my baby is not going to make it to the age of viability. He has a fluid cyst on the back of his neck. There is no bladder and the left kidney isnt funtioning. Because of that, there is virtually no amniotic fluid for the baby to move and grow. He is in heart failure, and eventually will have a heart attack and, well, you know the rest. My doctor is recommending a D & C. I don’t know how I should feel about this. Any insights?

Loosing my baby.
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Talk to your priest.

An open forum of strangers on the internet is probabaly really not the best place to discuss such a sensitive, personal and private matter.

I will pray for you.
 
Please don’t let him be the one to decise when your baby gets to die, he’s not God.

As a crisis pregnancy counsellor I have experienced this situation before and assisted young women to go through with their pregnancy to a natural conclusion.

In two extremely heart wrenching cases, the babies were born to prove the doctors wrong. One was perfectly normal after an* in utero* diagnosis of anencephaly. The other was supposed to have a blocked valve in the heart, an exploded bowel and brain damage. He had a minor problem with his heart which was fixed soon after birth.

Doctors too often seem to take a worst case scenario approach. Here is a quote from the website I worked on
A study, published in the British Medical Journal, found that parents whose unborn child was diagnosed as having a chromosomal disability were sometimes given “grossly inadequate or frankly misleading information” leading many to abort their babies.
Click to expand...
life.org.nz/abortionethicalkeyissuesdisabilities.htm

Read about Evangeline Edwards at the bottom of the page.
 
Your doctor is recommending that you have your baby hacked up in pieces.

In other words your doctor recommending that you brutally murder an innocent child.

Your doctor is a very sick and evil person. Abortion is wrong always. If you do what he suggests, you will be a murderer and excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Never go to this doctor, again. Find a doctor who is a decent human being.
 
Chris_Jacobsen said:
Your doctor is recommending that you have your baby hacked up in pieces.

In other words your doctor recommending that you brutally murder an innocent child.

Your doctor is a very sick and evil person. Abortion is wrong always. If you do what he suggests, you will be a murderer and excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Never go to this doctor, again. Find a doctor who is a decent human being.
Click to expand...
Chris,
I for one would like to thank you for displaying the best of Christian love and kindness. Your compassion and encouragement are indescribable. I’m sure God is pleased with your well thought out, kind, and considerate remarks.
To the OP - I’m so sorry for your difficult situation. Talk to your parish priest, and know that only God knows why we go through what we do, but that He does know best. Your little angel will be in the best of care with Him. My prayers are with you.
 
Chris_Jacobsen said:
Your doctor is recommending that you have your baby hacked up in pieces.

In other words your doctor recommending that you brutally murder an innocent child.

Your doctor is a very sick and evil person. Abortion is wrong always. If you do what he suggests, you will be a murderer and excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Never go to this doctor, again. Find a doctor who is a decent human being.
Click to expand...
Is this website not one for Catholics? because I dont think this guy has ever read any of jesus’s teachings. . . or gone to mass. . .or even more importantly had the so obviously needed psychiatric help needed. . . I honestly hope you get help. . .

But Im afraid that amid his ravings he has a valid point, your doctor and yourself dont seem to realise that this is in fact a human life and as such has inherint dignity and rights, foremost of which is the right to life.

I sympathise with the horrible dilemna you are in and hope that you reach an informed and reasonable decision, taking on advice not merely gleaned from a message board.

Please keep in mind that God acts in mysterious ways with meanings we cannot in our limitedness percieve. . and miracles happen every day, I have a girl in one of my college groups whose mother was told would be mentally retarded, Medicine isnt always right, and even if it is in this case now that God loves you always and will carry and give you strenght.

You are very much in my prayers
 
Chris_Jacobsen said:
Your doctor is recommending that you have your baby hacked up in pieces.

In other words your doctor recommending that you brutally murder an innocent child.

Your doctor is a very sick and evil person. Abortion is wrong always. If you do what he suggests, you will be a murderer and excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Never go to this doctor, again. Find a doctor who is a decent human being.
Click to expand...
While I’m sure you mean well, pastoral work is not your forte…God Bless…teachccd :confused:
 
Chris_Jacobsen said:
Your doctor is recommending that you have your baby hacked up in pieces.

In other words your doctor recommending that you brutally murder an innocent child.

Your doctor is a very sick and evil person. Abortion is wrong always. If you do what he suggests, you will be a murderer and excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Never go to this doctor, again. Find a doctor who is a decent human being.
Click to expand...
What is so interesting is that I am very pro life. I am. The D & C is to be done after I miscarry, meaning once the heart beat stops. My husband and I talked and we don’t want to be the ones to determine when the heart should stop. My husband is concerned with my mental health (yeah, btw, my mom was just diagnosed with lung cancer on last tuesday.)

Basically, they can do a csection and remove the baby or the d and c.

This is the hardest thing i think any woman could go through. i know its not my fault, but i’m the mommy and i cant even protect my own child!! I think the last thing i need is such harsh judging from someone whose not in my situation. just a little insight would have been appreciated.
 
((((((((asumommy)))))) I am sorry you are going through this. God bless you and your family. My prayers are going out for you.

Kim
 
Asu, I have no children, and have never been pregnant.
Dh and I are dealing with infertility, but havent gotten that far into treatments.
I don’t know your circumstances (finances, insurance, ect) but, from my (limited) point of view, I would go for the C-section.
I could not do a D&C, even after my baby was gone. Just couldn’t. I could not pass up the opportunity to see him, hold him, and have a burial/service for him. But I am not in your shoes, and what is best for me may not be for you. So whatever you decide, again, my prayers are with you, and I am so very sorry.
 
Sweetie, is there any way you can do the C-Section and quickly baptize the baby?

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. How should you feel? A little numb, but also sad, because you are a mother now. And you will grieve this dear little baby. I’ll pray for courage for you and your husband. Remember our children really aren’t ours. They are God’s. And they are only lent to us for a short time. If He chooses to take them back to Himself, that is not for us to question why. You helped create a soul for eternity.

But please make sure the doctor is right. Get a second opinion before you do anything.

And tell us how you are doing! {{{hug}}}
 
asumommy said:
What is so interesting is that I am very pro life. I am. The D & C is to be done after I miscarry, meaning once the heart beat stops. My husband and I talked and we don’t want to be the ones to determine when the heart should stop. My husband is concerned with my mental health (yeah, btw, my mom was just diagnosed with lung cancer on last tuesday.)

Basically, they can do a csection and remove the baby or the d and c.

This is the hardest thing i think any woman could go through. i know its not my fault, but i’m the mommy and i cant even protect my own child!! I think the last thing i need is such harsh judging from someone whose not in my situation. just a little insight would have been appreciated.
Click to expand...
I just got home from Mass and you were my intention for this Mass. May God grant you peace and courage during this most difficult time. I will add your mom to my prayers…God Bless…teachccd
 
You don’t have to have a D and C after your baby dies. My brother and his fiance had an induced labor the day after they discovered that their baby died at about 20 weeks. We will be burying him on Monday.

I know I would rather do it that way, if given the chance. Their son was absolutely beautiful. I am so glad we had the chance to see and hold him, and that he has the chance to be buried with his great grandfather. He will be issued a death certificate, his little obituary was in todays paper.

This is not possible with a D and C. I am sure being able to see and hold their baby will help my brother and his fiance heal with time. I would not deny yourself this.

My sister had a D and C after her miscarriage at about the same gestational age (military hospital). She is taking this sad time in our family very hard, and I think it’s because she did not have the same chances with her baby (she was not even sure if she was carrying a boy of a girl because of the D and C).

Your doctor probably wants this to be over quickly out of a misplaced sense of compassion for you. But having the physical aspects of this over quickly will not help you emotionally. You are still a mother to this child. You will still grieve this child. Trying to “get it over with” will hurt you in the long run.

My prayers are with you, your baby, and your family at this time. I will ask my little nephew to pray for you also.

Please feel free to pm me if you have any questions.
 
I am so sorry that you are going through this. 😦 Please get a second opinion from another doctor, because you have other options aside from a c-section (which isn’t medically indicated, based solely on the facts you’ve given) and a D&C. I will pray for you and for your baby.
 
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