Dad doesn't even say an Amen during Mass, is it wrong?

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BlueRain

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Hello,
We go regularly to Mass, we’re all Catholic. But I think it is very weird that my dad doesn’t participate in the Mass at all.
We go to Mass and his mouth is shut during the entire celebration, he doesn’t even say an amen.

I mean we go regularly to Mass so it’s not like he doesn’t know how to say the “Our Father”, or usual responses like when the priest says “The Lord be with you” and we say “And also with you”.

The only thing he does is the sign of the cross when we start Mass and at another time.

We’ve mentioned this to him before, but I don’t think he cares. Is it wrong of him to act like that during Mass?
 
Does your family do any devotions/prayers outside of Mass? For instance, if you go to a public recitation of the Rosary or the Stations of the Cross, does your father respond vocally during those? It is possible that he is still actively participating in the Mass if he prays silently. He may be very traditional and pray silently during Mass, but usually people who do this will pray out loud during other devotions.
 
Nothing wrong with silent praying. In fact, might be better if you’re self-conscious about your voice. 🙂

By the way, the word is pronounced (traditionally) as “ah-men” not “ay-men.”

(Oops, this thread was on the traditional forum)
 
BlueRain said:
Hello,
We go regularly to Mass, we’re all Catholic. But I think it is very weird that my dad doesn’t participate in the Mass at all.
We go to Mass and his mouth is shut during the entire celebration, he doesn’t even say an amen.

I mean we go regularly to Mass so it’s not like he doesn’t know how to say the “Our Father”, or usual responses like when the priest says “The Lord be with you” and we say “And also with you”.

The only thing he does is the sign of the cross when we start Mass and at another time.

We’ve mentioned this to him before, but I don’t think he cares. Is it wrong of him to act like that during Mass?
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Depending on his age and background, he may have been brought up not to express his spirituality out loud, but just to pray quietly in his head. This is a difficult habit for many older men to break. I am working with an old German guy in my RCIA who is having difficulty with this, too, and he gets so frustrated with himself because he forgets to follow along out loud at Mass. I just tell him not to worry about it, and just to do his best at the time.

I would say the same to your Dad, and just leave him alone. As long as he is coming to Mass, he is doing just fine. But, the suggestion that he is “doing it wrong” could cause him to get frustrated and stop coming to Mass, and you wouldn’t want that to happen - so, just leave him be. He is okay as he is right now.
 
He is present, he is quiet, respectful, and attends with the family. That is wonderful.

Start thanking him for coming and continuing to be a good example of a father.
 
ay-men in English, ah-men in Latin
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How is it that when it is sung by the people at Mass (e.g., when the opening prayer is sung, or at the end of the eucharistic prayer) it is pronouned “Ah-men”?
 
Chatter163 said:
How is it that when it is sung by the people at Mass (e.g., when the opening prayer is sung, or at the end of the eucharistic prayer) it is pronouned “Ah-men”?
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Ah, well, I guess we are speaking Latin. I could be wrong; I always thought the Latin had the short a sound and the English the long A sound.
 
Here in England we say “Ahmen” and I’m not aware we’re speaking Latin!😉
I don’t think it’s a question of Latin or English, it’s the old tomayto/tomahto thing.
Of course, the way I pronounce things is always the correct way:D
 
we may observe someone at Mass who seems not to be engaged in “full active participation” because they do not make the responses, read the missal or prayerbook throughout, are holding a rosary, or for whatever reason. That means absolutely nothing. None of us is in any position to know or judge what is going on interiorly with another person, at Mass, or with their spiritual life in general. such a person may well be in such an advanced contemplative state that they participate far more intensely in their outward silence of word and gesture than others do in their more active responding, singing etc. Such a person may be listening at a deeper level than we usually do, or meditating on some aspect of the Mass.

We would be well advised to direct all our concern to our own spiritual condition, our own conduct at Mass, our own attention and participation and union with and participation in the MOst Holy Sacrifice of the Altar, and give off watching and speculating about other people.
 
lak611 said:
Does your family do any devotions/prayers outside of Mass? For instance, if you go to a public recitation of the Rosary or the Stations of the Cross, does your father respond vocally during those? It is possible that he is still actively participating in the Mass if he prays silently. He may be very traditional and pray silently during Mass, but usually people who do this will pray out loud during other devotions.
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No, we don’t have other family devotions outside of Mass. I guess he is being attentive during Mass, but it’s just so weird and I think it gives a bad example to my younger brothers. Fortunately my nagging has helped my brothers at least say amen. I suppose I’ll just let him be, I’ll try to hold my tongue.

By the way, I attend Spanish Mass with my family so we say “Ah-men” and I always pronounce it like that. I guess I just got used to it.

I know Amen is Latin, but in Spanish amen sounds like the verb form of love. So it kind of sounds like the priest is telling us to love 🙂
 
BlueRain said:
Hello,
We go regularly to Mass, we’re all Catholic. But I think it is very weird that my dad doesn’t participate in the Mass at all.
We go to Mass and his mouth is shut during the entire celebration, he doesn’t even say an amen.

I mean we go regularly to Mass so it’s not like he doesn’t know how to say the “Our Father”, or usual responses like when the priest says “The Lord be with you” and we say “And also with you”.

The only thing he does is the sign of the cross when we start Mass and at another time.

We’ve mentioned this to him before, but I don’t think he cares. Is it wrong of him to act like that during Mass?
Click to expand...
I act that way also whenever I attend the Novus Ordo (Ordinary Rite). I usually say the responses silently in Latin and make sure I am holding one of my small children in my arms when the time comes for the “Sign of peace”.

This is because I am used to the Traditional Roman Rite of Mass (Extraordinary Rite).

By the way the correct response is not “And also with you”, but as Rome has it written for ages past- “Et cum spiritu tuo” - “And with your spirit.”

Ken
 
My father was the same way. He insisted on going every week. Never spoke a word, never sang, etc. I don’t know why, but I’m not sure it makes a difference.
 
Chatter163 said:
How is it that when it is sung by the people at Mass (e.g., when the opening prayer is sung, or at the end of the eucharistic prayer) it is pronouned “Ah-men”?
Click to expand...
Depends on which version of the Great Amen is sung at your parish. Some versions pronounce it with the ay sound, and some with the ah sound.
 
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