Dad Smoking Pot - What To Do?

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So, it came to my attention this past weekend that my (almost 56 years old) dad smokes marijuana recreationally. I had suspected prior due to smell, but I never saw him act any different, so I gave the benefit of the doubt that it was something else I was smelling on him, especially since it was never an overpowering, overtly skunky pot-ish smell. Naive? Probably, but the image of my dad doing any kind of drug was just something I couldn’t picture.

I know thoughts on the subject of recreational pot vary, and I just spent a good amount of time here on CAF reading an old thread on the subject, which had so many twists and turns that it just left me more confused. So, operating under the basis that smoking marijuana as recreation is grave matter (which I believe it to be), what should I do in this situation?

After he told me, I thought about it for awhile, and then decided to warn him (albeit as gently as I could) that mind-altering substances like that are gravely sinful, to which he just laughed - gave me the standard “it’s natural” line. I tried to tell him it’s not whether it’s natural or not, but rather it’s about what it does to our minds. He said it didn’t impair him that way, or something to that effect. I dropped it after that, since it was obvious he wasn’t going to take me seriously.

Is what I said enough? And, to add to the situation, marijuana is not legal in our state; what should I do there? Am I morally obligated to contact the authorities? I find the idea of smoking pot abhorrent, but for as much as I dislike it, I also find the idea of calling the cops on my dad basically inconceivable. (I don’t think pot, or recreational usage of it, is taken all that seriously here; in fact, I didn’t even think to give the illegal = sinful argument when I was talking with him, though of course he knows it’s illegal and I highly doubt it would have helped my case anyway).

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation quite like this before. Obviously, I can’t MAKE him do anything, but I’m really not sure what I should or shouldn’t do. My mind keeps going back to the CCC and not allowing/participating in the sin of another, etc.

Has anyone had similar situations? Any advice? Or should I bring this all to a Priest?
 
Don’t contact the authorities over this.

Talking to a priest might not help your dad, but it might help you.

Don’t worry about the things you can’t control.

Spend quality time with your dad. That’s probably the best thing you can do for him.

Pray for your dad’s well being, and for your peace, and once again don’t worry.
 
I’d say leave the situation alone. You have already done what you are morally bound to do and at his present age he is not likely to change. If you have a good relationship with your father don’t put it at risk by calling the authorities. There may be some reasons that he is smoking weed that may not be valid according to my values or moral codes, but I would never call the cops on my brothers for what is not acceptable by law. I know my brothers have been smoking pot over the years and even one sister, but I would rather live as an example and not as a judge. This may sound very liberal, but it is because I know I can not change them(I tried) so I have to pray for them instead. Peace and prayers.
 
I didn’t think it was grave matter… I mean, getting stoned is, but so is getting drunk. Would it be grave matter if you just smoked enough to relax but remained in control of your faculties?

The only difference I can think of is where you are getting the pot. But even then I don’t know if it would be grave matter. If it was obtained from Washington for example, is it not pretty much the same as buying beer?

I mean, that is just an opinion, might be a malformed one… I’m totally open to other interpretations.

Also, yeah don’t call the police. If it’s anything like where I live, only dealers are charged. All that will happen is that your Dad will be mad with you. He isn’t really at any more risk than he would be if he was drinking. So I would advice using that as a frame of reference; at the point where, if you dad was a drinker, you would try and intervene because of how totally self-destructive he has become, then maybe you can try and do something. If you’ve voiced you opinion and he’s laughed it off, that is all you can do.
 
It’s to late. I am the police! Just kidding. I would talk to him about the health risks involved with smoking pot, and about how you love him and want to have him around for a long time. If that doesn’t work ground him!
 
You have expressed your concerns and disapproval; there is not much more you can do. Calling the police would just cause more problems and strain the relationship.
 
Hey everyone, I apologize for not getting back sooner. My PC monitor has been on its last legs and finally kicked out. In hooking up a new old monitor, I accidentally knocked the WiFi out. So, I’ve got to post this from my phone; it’ll be shorter than I intended.

Thank you all very much for your responses. I’m still uneasy over the situation, but at least I know I’ve done what I can/should. I’ll leave it in God’s hands now (with prayer, of course).

RE: Pot as grave matter. I was under the impression it was, as recreationally its only purpose is to alter the mind. I don’t know, maybe it’s different for different people.

Again, thank you all very, very much. I greatly appreciate your help!
 
I’m not sure pot is a worse mind altering drug than alcohol is, and outside of religious purposes, alcohol really only serves to alter the mind. I don’t know, from that perspective, I’m not sure casual marijuana use is any violation of the natural law.

Now, that said, it is illegal, and much of the trade has some rather dubious origins, and the state does have the just authority to regulate it. So, in that sense, your father is doing something wrong.

As everyone else has said, I think you’ve done what’s appropriate. Try to keep a good relationship with your father.
 
LP4H said:
RE: Pot as grave matter. I was under the impression it was, as recreationally its only purpose is to alter the mind.
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Not many people drink wine or beer because they are thirsty. And I think someone helped out at a wedding once by supplying some wine for the guests.
 
Bradski said:
Not many people drink wine or beer because they are thirsty. And I think someone helped out at a wedding once by supplying some wine for the guests.
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That was not and is not illegal. As I am sure you know…
 
Rosebud77 said:
That was not and is not illegal. As I am sure you know…
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Maybe not ever in Ireland, but certainly here in the US, alcohol was illegal and it helped to fuel terrible violence. Does the name Al Capone ring a bell?

I don’t know how old you are OP, but I will tell you, this is not your problem. You told him how you feel, now let it go.

I am a firm believer in the decriminalizing pot. Occasional use, just as with alcohol, is a personal choice, and will not, regardless of what so people will try to tell you, lead to hard-core drug use.

The fear & propaganda surrounding the use of pot is ridiculous, especially when we say nothing about “legal” drugs that do a lot more harm to a body & mind.
 
Oneofthewomen said:
Maybe not ever in Ireland, but certainly here in the US, alcohol was illegal and it helped to fuel terrible violence. Does the name Al Capone ring a bell?

I don’t know how old you are OP, but I will tell you, this is not your problem. You told him how you feel, now let it go.

I am a firm believer in the decriminalizing pot. Occasional use, just as with alcohol, is a personal choice, and will not, regardless of what so people will try to tell you, lead to hard-core drug use.

The fear & propaganda surrounding the use of pot is ridiculous, especially when we say nothing about “legal” drugs that do a lot more harm to a body & mind.
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?? The post I repleid to was talking re Jesus I thought? At Cana? I do not think AL Capone was around then nor is Cana in the US ? roflol .Your tone by the way could use some smoothing out.

And your last para is totally off the point. There are laws we all "disagree"with but that does not mean they are invalid,as a Catholic can you really advocate breaking the law? Ah well… over and OUT from me here,
 
Rosebud77 said:
?? The post I repleid to was talking re Jesus I thought? At Cana? I do not think AL Capone was around then nor is Cana in the US ? roflol .Your tone by the way could use some smoothing out.

And your last para is totally off the point. There are laws we all "disagree"with but that does not mean they are invalid,as a Catholic can you really advocate breaking the law? Ah well… over and OUT from me here,
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Nothing wrong with my tone, sorry you feel that way.

The person you replied to also said “not many people drink beer or wine because they are thirsty”, then added a quip about the wedding at Cana, so my comment is very relevant.

I don’t advocate breaking the law, I advocate making the law null. There is a very big difference.

As to legal drugs doing more harm than good- that is a truth, especially here in the US.
Dangerous narcs and psychotropics are handed out like candy in many cases, because other therapies are “too costly” and don’t offer the quick fix that most look for. It’s a lot easier to take a pill than it is to make modifications to behavior.

I would much rather deal with a person who smokes an occasional joint than deal with someone who is snowed by opiates and anti-anxiety meds everyday.
 
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