Dating a Jewish guy

[JCats12]

Hello everyone,

I just had some inquiries about dating a non-Catholic. I am currently getting to know a guy, who is Jewish. He isn’t particularly religious. We have been on 3 dates so far and I could really see myself pursuing a relationship with him. He knows I am a practicing Catholic and he respects that.

We both go to the same university. I’m 19 and he is 20. We have both explicitly said that we are interested in each other and would like to potentially see if a relationship would come about.

For the longest of time, I did not consider dating a non-Catholic, however recently I began to open up and allow myself to date non-Catholics. I was initially worried that if we did get serious, he would pressure me to get physical, however we talked about it and he told me that he didn’t want to pressure me and that we didn’t have to do anything sexual.

My only question is: how do I go about this, faith wise? What should I keep in mind/ do while dating someone who isn’t Catholic?

 

[1ke]

What should I keep in mind/ do while dating someone who isn’t Catholic?

The thing to think about is what sort of life to envision, long term, as far as faith and family? Do you want to worship at Mass as a family? Have Catholic traditions in your home? Teach the faith to your children? Raise them in the Church?

Remember, as a Catholic you are obligated to be married in the Church or receive a dispensation to be married elsewhere, and you are obligated to raise your children Catholic.

Fundamentally, Catholics believe Jesus is God, that God is a Trinity. Jews do not believe this. He may not be “practicing” Judaism now, but many people suddenly get religious when they contemplate having children. What are his expectations? Will he be open to the children being raised in the faith? Will he be supportive or not? Will he be OK with a crucifix in his home? What about his family? Does he expect to celebrate Jewish holy days? Attend synagogue?

Will he be OK with Catholic moral teachings regarding marital sexuality and children, natural family planning, etc?

In general, there are many obstacles when you contemplate dating outside your faith, particularly with someone who is active in their own faith tradition. If he is culturally Jewish, then what does he actually believe? Is he agnostic? atheist?

Marriage is a partnership, and I can tell you that I am so thankful I am with a man who is active in the Catholic faith, loves the Church, and we don’t argue about the faith or how we live our faith lives together.

“can” an interfaith marriage work? Yes. But what is your definition of “work”? That’s always the tough part.

 

[JCats12]

I have definitely thought of long term goals and I do indeed want to get married in the Church and raise my children Catholic, however I don’t see myself preparing for marriage until I reach my early- mid 20s (hopefully, God-willing).

It’s so early on in our relationship as we have been seeing each other for only 2 weeks. I haven’t really contemplated marriage with him, since I haven’t gotten to know him in that level yet.

We have talked about religion some, and he is more culturally Jewish than religious. Religion wise, I would say that he is leaning more agnostic/atheist. He doesn’t really go to synagogue, and celebrates Jewish holidays when he’s with his family. He has had a Bar Mitzvah. He has mentioned that if he becomes a father, he doesn’t want to force them to go to synagogue or particularly raise them solely as Jewish. He has mentioned that his parents and brother are religious.

He knows that I believe in God 100% and that I love my faith and he respects that. I don’t intend to “impose” religion on him but kind of set an example of my faith through my actions and words. And if the topic of religion ever comes up then yes I’ll talk about my faith

 

[1ke]

however I don’t see myself preparing for marriage until I reach my early- mid 20s (hopefully, God-willing).

Then why are you dating anyone?

The purpose of dating and getting into a relationship is to discern marriage. If you get into a relationship while just planning to “date” indefinitely, you are setting yourself up for distraction, heartache, temptation, and frustration.

I don’t understand why you’d want to get serious with someone if you aren’t interested in moving forward to marriage for half a decade or more.

 

[1ke]

He has mentioned that if he becomes a father, he doesn’t want to force them to go to synagogue or particularly raise them solely as Jewish

You realize you can’t raise children as Catholic and Jewish, right?

What does not raising “solely” Jewish even mean? Jewish and something else?