Dating advice please

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Hello
So there’s a girl in my philosophy class I’m interested in. (college btw) We talked one day before class and she’s a baptist who actually was born Catholic but when she was little, they left basically so she doesn’t really understand much of that anyways. The problem is she quite lukewarm in her witness (not to sound judgmental, just walking circumspectly here). She curses and talks about some nasty things with other girls in class but I can tell she has potential to be something better. She’s seems interested in me. Should I even try to get to know her atleast and see if it leads her to Christ? (I’m not trying to say I should try and get her saved and then “get my girl” so to speak) but I have heard of others getting saved through others because they started a relationship and then later even got married. I am in RCIA and maybe my mind shouldn’t be in this area, but I want to be married truly. Advice and prayer is much appreciated.
 
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Agreed. Just did. I think more women do need the right gentleman in their life. Just not many holy people around these days as far as finding the right spouse.
 
There is a term for this, it is called “missionary dating”. To date someone hoping you can rescue them, change them, save them, is a very bad idea.

Date a woman who is the sort of wife and mother to your children that will raise them in virtue.
 
Well said. Seemingly an answer of prayer from you. I think the biggest challenge for me is finding someone who is right in such a crazy society.
 
In much of the US there is a sad trend. Catholics tend to be isolationists.

Catholic families don’t socialize with other Catholic families.

Catholics don’t tend to send their kids to Catholic schools, and the Catholic schools in order to survive are filled with non-Catholic students.

Parish RE is a drop off class with no social component, parents drop off and pick up but they don’t socialize with each other. RE is also sparsely attended in “non sacramental” years.

Confirmation is for teenagers, it is made into such a hoop jumping contest that teens and parents are completely turned off and cannot WAIT until it is over. Catechists have some sort of crazed idea that everyone in Confirmation prep is a heathen and they must drill a lifetime of catechesis and rules into those kids in their last chance.

After Confirmation mass those teens scatter to the wind, they may go to Mass if mom and dad force the issue but they have such a bad taste in their mouth from the Conf Prep that the last thing they want to do is to get involved with the parish or do their high school volunteering at any Catholic thing.

Then, when young adults think about marriage we wonder why they don’t date other Catholics. Heck, they have barely met another let alone have a Catholic social peer group.

Get involved with your parish more than just Sunday Mass. Volunteer, go to social events, meet people who attend the other Masses. Go to social events at other parishes, at the Diocese. Instead of a vacation in Cabo this year, attend the NCSC Conference http://www.nationalcatholicsingles.com/ or a SEEK Conference SEEK2017 - FOCUS In college, join Newman Center, FOCUS, or in Canada there is https://cco.ca/

Join Catholic professional groups, start Theology on Tap in your town or host a MTG game night at the parish hall, book club at the parish library.

There are other Catholics out there.
 
There is nothing wrong with asking her out, but hoping she changes is not going to end well.

If you go out with her, examine if she is some one you would want to marry in her current state. If you expect her to change, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak and confusion.
 
Is he aiming “missionary dating” or is it a metaphor for - he really like this girl a lot but she is not exactly someone he ever thought he’d like, so he’s surprised but the feelings are real? 😉
 
First of all you have have at least one date with this girl to be able to figure out if she really is defined by the language she uses.
And … she also has to say “yes” to you when you ask her out.
 
While feelings are emotions and it is harder to control emotions, we are taught not to rely on our feelings. Feelings lie.

Friendship and love are not something one catches from a door handle or steps in like sidewalk gum, they are conscience decisions.
 
But just one date, even if it’s based on emotions, does it really mean being too entangled over nothing? It barely even means a relationship. Plus after one date the feeling can just die right then and there and then you can make decisions that the steam of curiosity is off.
 
Used to be, but, these days people exchange some text or Facebook messages and consider themselves “in a relationship”. Dinner and a move might mean engagement! 😱
 
Dum du du! Dramatic music* lol. I would agree with both of you in balance. It is good not to trust feelings, however God did make us to feel love. You just have to be very careful. As for this girl, I will see what happens. Don’t think I’m gonna ask her out, idk, but I can atleast say I do like her after the talk we had
I think she honestly just isn’t being the Christian she could be. No I will not missionary date… Such a trechourous road lol
 
TheLittleLady said:
In much of the US there is a sad trend. Catholics tend to be isolationists.

Catholic families don’t socialize with other Catholic families.

Catholics don’t tend to send their kids to Catholic schools, and the Catholic schools in order to survive are filled with non-Catholic students.

Parish RE is a drop off class with no social component, parents drop off and pick up but they don’t socialize with each other. RE is also sparsely attended in “non sacramental” years.

Confirmation is for teenagers, it is made into such a hoop jumping contest that teens and parents are completely turned off and cannot WAIT until it is over. Catechists have some sort of crazed idea that everyone in Confirmation prep is a heathen and they must drill a lifetime of catechesis and rules into those kids in their last chance.

After Confirmation mass those teens scatter to the wind, they may go to Mass if mom and dad force the issue but they have such a bad taste in their mouth from the Conf Prep that the last thing they want to do is to get involved with the parish or do their high school volunteering at any Catholic thing.

Then, when young adults think about marriage we wonder why they don’t date other Catholics. Heck, they have barely met another let alone have a Catholic social peer group.

Get involved with your parish more than just Sunday Mass. Volunteer, go to social events, meet people who attend the other Masses. Go to social events at other parishes, at the Diocese. Instead of a vacation in Cabo this year, attend the NCSC Conference http://www.nationalcatholicsingles.com/ or a SEEK Conference SEEK2017 - FOCUS In college, join Newman Center, FOCUS, or in Canada there is https://cco.ca/

Join Catholic professional groups, start Theology on Tap in your town or host a MTG game night at the parish hall, book club at the parish library.

There are other Catholics out there.
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What you say is so true. I’m 38 years old and have not had a Catholic friend since I was a little kid playing with my mom’s friends’ kids.
 
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