Dating friend outside of faith

[Lil_GTO]

Hello all,

Have any of you ever had a friend (female) you were attracted to, but chose not to pursue because they were not Catholic? How did you handle the attraction? Did you ever reconsider?

We are both late 20s/early 30s out of school and working. I feel hung up on her. If but for the fact she wants to raise her future kids Jewish like herself, I would pursue. But I do not want to jerk her around. We had gone on a few dates years ago, and I broke it off romantically after discussing kids. We’ve hung out periodically since. She is so sweet, but kind of lonely, and I just want to hug her and make her glow.

But I don’t want to date her, only to hit a brick wall in the future and break her heart. Christ is the center of my life, and I cannot bear the thought of not passing the faith to my children. I’ve tried to quit the faith in the past, but like the ancient Jewish prophet Jeremiah, I cannot stand being apart from God, and quickly return. Converting away from the faith is not an option, but asking her to convert seems too much.

How have any of you resolved a similar situation? Thanks!

 

[Irishmom2]

Please don’t date her. You already know you have religious differences that aren’t going to change. To date would just make for a difficult situation later.

 

[AdamP88]

I haven’'t really dated outside the faith but I’ve dated lukewarm Catholics and that was too much for me. I always held that my biggest dealbreaker was that they had to have the faith.

I would firmly be of the belief that inter-faith relationships are less than ideal and to be avoided if possible. If I were you I’d forget it.

 

[1ke]

Have any of you ever had a friend (female) you were attracted to, but chose not to pursue because they were not Catholic?

Well, I am a female. But I did have a friend (male) I was attracted to and he was Greek Orthodox and I am Catholic. And we went on a few dates and then mutually decided to stop dating because each of us were very committed to our own faith traditions and were unwilling to convert. And we knew it would be too problematic to try to marry and raise children in a mixed faith household so we agreed to stop seeing each other befor we got serious and our emotions got in the way.

It was really difficult. We basically ended our friendship. We didn’t hang out after that, as we didn’t want to fight against feelings or stir up feelings.

 

[Crocus]

There are plenty of people who will cite their own experience and tell you to just go for it, love will find a way.

I say, look around you at all the happy, successful marriages, and model yours firstly, on those that are united in faith, that are helping each other raise their children in shared faith.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I married a Protestant, but I made it very clear that any kids were going to be raised as Catholics and he would have to agree to that or no marriage was going to happen. He was fine with it and told the priest so.

Anybody from a different faith who is insisting on raising the children as anything but Catholic is going to be a pain to deal with. The priest will likely ask in the marriage preparation whether the person of the different faith is willing to raise the kids Catholic. This person has already expressed that she wants to raise her children Jewish, so I wouldn’t pursue a relationship further.

 

[TheLittleLady]

The idea of being friends after dating does not sound realistic for you. Let her go. Go your separate ways, cry for a day or two then move on.