Dating in High School

[chevalier]

While I don’t think there’s anything morally reprehensible about dating in high school, personal experience has led me to think it’s somewhat pointless. I used to be very keen on dating just for the sake of dating (hey it’s fun, right, and isn’t it a normal part of the high school experience?), it led me to the conclusion that dating for the sake of dating is just something of a hassle and completely moot.

Depends. I don’t think it’s a very wrong thing, but I think the significance is not only logical (i.e. sheer pointlessness), but also ethical - not sure how moral, but somewhat ethical. At least on some philosophical level, it does seem wrong to engage in pointless relationships. I’m biased, I know.

I generally also think that things like kissing and such shouldn’t be seen as for fun only. When people flirt and kiss, it’s obvious they’re not just friends and in that case, the relationship shouldn’t be pointless or just for fun.

 

[sanctamaria17]

Seriously dating, I’d save till you’re ready for marriage. But if a guy asks you out for a coffee, that’s fine. You need to learn how to get along with men and something that’s light and friendly, as opposed to a heavy, impassioned relationship, is a good way to go about it.

Heck, I’ve gone for coffee with boys, to dinner, etc. with the understanding that it was light, friendly, and about getting to know each other. That’s perfectly OK and I highly recommend it. Otherwise, if you don’t know how to socialize with a guy, how are you going to be able to when the time comes to look for a potential spouse?

 

[purelovemmc]

I am 16, and finally allowed to date. After seeing some different views and hearing different things, I am wondering: Is there anything wrong with dating someone whom you don’t intend to marry? Just having “normal high school boyfriends”? Because realistically, I probably won’t marry anyone from my high school, but I personally don’t think that means I should be deprived of the fun of my teenage years (while still preserving my chastity, of course )…

Opinions, experiences, stories?

Hi, I hope you don’t mind me sharing my opinion in numbered form since I have the tendency to get lost in things I want to share.

1. Why will you go out with someone whom you don’t want to marry?If you are going out with someone without the intention of marrying him then you are dating for the wrong reasons. Just imagine, some years from now, when you finally meet the guy you want to marry and you asked him if he dated anyone else before you, and he said about a dozen other girls, wouldn’t you feel kind of hurt even if this all happened when he was young and just want to have fun? What if he asked you. He found out you dated about five other guys and he didn’t date anyone. Wouldn’t you feel bad/guilty?What if he’s not even a practicing Catholic and started humiliating you because of your past?
2. In terms of the “fun” you are trying to seek in your highschool years, well, you have to realize that there are lots of temporary fun. Say, you go out with a guy in order to experience fun and you fell in love with him and he broke your heart. Is that fun after all? You should try seeking out for the genuine fun. Maybe hang out with friends and don’t pressure yourself to have a boyfriend.

And maybe try decerning for you vocation before you start dating. Or or or…better yet, pray.

After all, I met my two-year boyfriend in highschool. We just finished first year university and we do plan to get marry someday.

God Bless

 

[whatevergirl]

I am 16, and finally allowed to date. After seeing some different views and hearing different things, I am wondering: Is there anything wrong with dating someone whom you don’t intend to marry? Just having “normal high school boyfriends”? Because realistically, I probably won’t marry anyone from my high school, but I personally don’t think that means I should be deprived of the fun of my teenage years (while still preserving my chastity, of course )…

Opinions, experiences, stories?

Hi HorseJumper;

I have a 15 yr old son, who goes out with groups of girls and guys–either to parties, or whereever. The parties are chaperoned by parents who I am familiar with, etc…I have had similiar conversations with him. I don’t see the ‘need’ to become exclusive with one person at your age. Reason being, honestly, it serves more as a distraction, than anything else. I know parents who tell me their kids have gotten too serious with their gf’s/bf’s, and thus their grades are suffering…there’s unneeded drama…fights…breaking up and getting back together…pressure to have sex…they feel like they have lost touch with their other friends…etc…Not that dating someone is all negative, it isn’t. I had a boyfriend that I was somewhat exclusive with, during high school–but once he realized I was NOT going to sleep with him, he dumped me. It was heartbreaking…and although I learned from the experience, I wish I didn’t go through all that drama back then. It was just very distracting. Now, not every guy will pressure a girl to have sex, certainly…but the more ‘exclusive’ one becomes, it is just something that comes up. I also have seen with my own eyes while attending my son’s football games last year, the couples who looked more unhappy than they were happy–I remember one couple distinctly…the girl was clinging to the guy, you could tell he wanted to just ‘hang out with his friends,’ but he couldn’t because she was attached at the hip. It just isn’t necessary to be attached to anyone at that age, in my opinion.

Date in groups…have fun…nothing wrong with going to dinner or movie with a guy…but, know your boundaries. Be upfront with guys, and tell them you’re not looking to get serious, if that is what you want. I think that in the end, you will have more fun, and less drama, if you keep dating and relationships with guys–light.

 

[whatevergirl]

Seriously dating, I’d save till you’re ready for marriage. But if a guy asks you out for a coffee, that’s fine. You need to learn how to get along with men and something that’s light and friendly, as opposed to a heavy, impassioned relationship, is a good way to go about it.

Heck, I’ve gone for coffee with boys, to dinner, etc. with the understanding that it was light, friendly, and about getting to know each other. That’s perfectly OK and I highly recommend it. Otherwise, if you don’t know how to socialize with a guy, how are you going to be able to when the time comes to look for a potential spouse?

i agree with this post

 

[Newbie2]

IMO, there is nothing wrong with dating. Obviously, at 16 you are not ready for marriage yet, so that shouldn’t be a consideration, but dating helps you learn to relate with others of the opposite sex, and know what your likes and dislikes are.

Obviously, you should try to refrain from having sexual relations. As I told my daughter, unless you are ready to be a mother, abstain.

As Master Yoda would say, “Try not…do!”