M
Madaglan
Guest
Briefly put: should guys consider a vocation even before ever dating?
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G
GandalfTheWhite
Guest
I personally don’t why not. If you feel a strong call and firmly believe that you are indeed called I think I think it even wouldn’t be very fair towards to the girl if you would start dating. I think dating is simply for those who are (or think they might be) called to the vocation of marriage.
M
Madaglan
Guest
But I don’t feel called to lifelong celibacy. I feel called to marriage, but I also feel I might be called to priesthood.
I consider lifelong celibacy and the priesthood two different vocations.
D
Dave
Guest
M
Madaglan
Guest
Thanks Dave.
G
GandalfTheWhite
Guest
I see. But I think the answer is still yes. The purpose of dating isn’t to test whether we are made for marriage or not but rather to get to know your possible future wife. If you feel split between the two then you should pray about your vacation, get a spiritual director and explore your call . But don’t date IN ORDER to explore your call. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be dating but rather that you should live your life normally. If you meet a girl you would eventually like to marry then fine, date. If you discover that marriage but rather priesthood is what God intended for you then you will have to break up.But I don’t feel called to lifelong celibacy. I feel called to marriage, but I also feel I might be called to priesthood.
I consider lifelong celibacy and the priesthood two different vocations.
I think the difference is basically in understanding of your actions not in the actions per se. I hope I don’t sound too confusing.
M
Madaglan
Guest
Yes, I understand what you’re saying. The one thing I’ve encountered however is that if people see that you’ve never dated, they think: Oh, so and so isn’t dating, is very serious-minded, pious: that person should be a priest! Take what I write as you will, but your comment on the purpose of dating rings a certain truth: many Catholics who see guys dating, especially one girl for a long time, think, oh, that guy is going to marry that girl). A guy who is dating another Catholic girl is seen, I would think, as getting to know a girl who very likely will be his wife.
If a guy is dating, then I would say most Catholics would not push that person towards priesthood. But if there’s a single guy, who hasn’t dated and isn’t dating: well then, that person doesn’t seem like he is for marriage. So, the obvious alternative to marriage is priesthood.
Not a monk, hermit or missionary friar, but a parish priest!
It just seems like Catholicism mentally creates two labels for people, regardless of their particular situations.
It’s really tough to be at a party in a room filled with couples, except for one or two others and the girl you are good friends with and who you like more than a friend but who doesn’t feel the same way, and to be asked by a person during or afterwards if you plan on going to seminary. It really digs into the heart, even though the people don’t mean it.
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