Dating: Why do men become rude and mean after breakup?

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EasterJoy said:
If you are going to be actively avoiding someone you have called friend or even if you need to act in a way that might give that appearance, then, yes, they deserve to know why, whether the time is one hour, two weeks, or indefinitely! If you can’t tell them at the time, you surely owe them an explanation at your earliest opportunity! The hurt is very personal, and you ought to give your reasons personally.

Remember, we are not putting the man in jail. We’re deciding to put his resume in the round bin. The standard for that conviction is a good deal lower, Counselor. 😉
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Oh c’mon, ain’t takin’ no law to solve that! I can quote Aquinas instead. 😛 'Sides, he has already taken his resume back. 😛 Now ‘tis basically the matter of what names y’all wanna be callin’ him. 😛
 
Birdpreacher said:
Workaholics may be Relevant…and yes this is how all men think upon facing rejection.

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/if-you-dont-want-to-date-me-thats-fine.jpg
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Except it’s not. I know it’s a joke, but the “boys will be boys” reaction only perpetuates the stereotype.

When I dated (I’m male), I was on the opposite end of the spectrum. If I got dumped, I usually defended the ex’s while my friends would be the ones criticizing them. I suppose a minority of them actually did behave badly, but for the most part, they just didn’t feel it was the right connection, and though I may have been surprised by their feelings at the time, I never saw the point in arguing with their feelings.
 
chevalier said:
Oh c’mon, ain’t takin’ no law to solve that! I can quote Aquinas instead. 😛 'Sides, he has already taken his resume back. 😛 Now ‘tis basically the matter of what names y’all wanna be callin’ him. 😛
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Thomas Aquinas said that it was OK to suddenly shun someone without ever saying why? :confused:

As for the resume, let us say that I have had a serious suitor who caused me to put his resume in the round file, seeming just about as likely to look back in regret as this guy. As it turned out, he did come back some time later to ask if I’d consider dating him again. I pretty much said that the only reason we were having a civilized conversation was because I had decided that I would never ever date him again, no matter what.

Labels aren’t important. It doesn’t have to hurt to watch the bridge burn, that’s all I’m sayin’.
 
Birdpreacher said:
Workaholics may be Relevant…and yes this is how all men think upon facing rejection.

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/if-you-dont-want-to-date-me-thats-fine.jpg
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That depends. It’s certainly doable to be nice, caring and somewhat warm with a person who used to be close to a girl when she decides that, after all, he is not the man for her. It’s certainly doable to be polite and even somewhat nice with a relative stranger (e.g. a colleague from work or school) when communicating to him that his interest is not shared (or that for some reason interest is not relevant).

Unfortunately, girls and sometimes even somewhat grown women can be immature and humiliate the man in the process. Sometimes involving a U-turn and a threat of restraining order if he dares ask a question.

Rest assured men who are somewhat sensible will understand that they aren’t the woman’s type, or that after some thinking she has decided she likes someone else better, or that she was mistaken about something or hadn’t previously thought about it. Basically admitting a mistake or change of opinion or change of heart, communicating it in an I-respect-you way instead of a you-must-respect-my-decision way.

It’s the mind games and the whole thing like we’ve suddenly caught leprosy which makes us take it ill.
 
EasterJoy said:
Thomas Aquinas said that it was OK to suddenly shun someone without ever saying why? :confused:
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No, and don’tcha troll me like that. 😛 He said it was wrong to label someone a jerk absque causa cogente (without a compelling cause).
As for the resume, let us say that I have had a serious suitor who caused me to put his resume in the round file, seeming just about as likely to look back in regret as this guy. As it turned out, he did come back some time later to ask if I’d consider dating him again. I pretty much said that the only reason we were having a civilized conversation was because I had decided that I would never ever date him again, no matter what.
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At least one of us has run out of caffeine. Explain again, slowly, and I’ll listen intently?
Labels aren’t important. It doesn’t have to hurt to watch the bridge burn, that’s all I’m sayin’.
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Now you got me lost. 😦 I ain’t followin’ any more. My point was burn your bridge all right, just don’t label dude as a jerk too easily. Ain’t got no proof for that from what I’s readin’ here.
 
If folks get mean it’s on them and reflection of them not you. As long as you treat people in a respectful manner you should expect the same treatment from them.
 
If a person isn’t able to handle the ending of a relationship with grace and humility then they shouldn’t be in a relationship at all.

A person who is emotionally and spiritually mature should be able to cut things off for good reason, and do so with the best of intentions.

Joshua C.
 
its a good quality of man because woman thing that i impressed every person and make relation but man not like this.
 
coachdennis said:
What you are describing has nothing to do with gender. It is about maturity.

Please, women can be just as vicious and stupid as men.
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True, in my last job when a man split up with a woman she accused him of rape. He nearly went to prison, it was in the papers, his life was ruined by it. Only because the police noticed discrepancies in her stories that she admitted it. She didn’t even get a small fine.

On the other hand I knew a woman who split up with her policeman boyfriend and she started to get harassed and pulled over many times per day and treated like dirt by his colleagues.

It works both ways.

I was never mean to former girlfriends but always asked what it was that caused the break up. 😊
 
This thread was started last February. The original poster is probably not checking in any more…
 
It is a scientific fact that some men become mean and rude after a breakup, and nobody knows exactly how long this condition will last.

Just to be on the safe side, I recommend that women only date single men who have never gone through a breakup. One can never be too careful in this day and age.
 
JorduSpeaks said:
It is a scientific fact that some men become mean and rude after a breakup, and nobody knows exactly how long this condition will last.

Just to be on the safe side, I recommend that women only date single men who have never gone through a breakup. One can never be too careful in this day and age.
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Science?

:rolleyes:
 
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