Deacons with Large Families

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FatherOfTwelve

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All,
Just wondering if there are any Deacons out there that have large (you define) families. Any advice?

We are expecting # 13 in March.

Any Deacon serve as a DRE as well (for income reasons)?
 
Hmm, a father who went into diaconate training from my parish has 5 (? maybe more). But the youngest was over 10 or 12 at least. I believe he has continued in his other line if work through the diaconate program.
 
FatherOfTwelve said:
All,
Just wondering if there are any Deacons out there that have large (you define) families. Any advice?

We are expecting # 13 in March.

Any Deacon serve as a DRE as well (for income reasons)?
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You are a brave man. I waited until my oldest was in college prior to entering into formation, my time was limited enough with my job and volunteering at the Church. The formation process in our diocese was very demanding in time.

Three years after ordination I was asked to work full time at the parish as ministries coordinator and took the job, but not for income purposes. 😉
 
My husband was recently ordained a deacon. He still has a full time job. His ministry as a deacon is unpaid. There are deacons that work for the church, but they are paid for their jobs, not for being a deacon. We have four children ranging in age from 9 to 16. When my husband began the diaconate, our youngest was around 3.

It takes about 4 or 5 years to become a deacon depending on your diocese. The course work can take a lot of time in reading and writing papers. There have been many times when I had to take of all the things at home so my husband could do his diaconate training. Check within your diocese about the diaconate and talk to deacons in your area. They can give you a better idea about the expectations of being a deacon.

It has been very challenging for our family, but also a great blessing.
 
DCNBILL said:
You are a brave man. I waited until my oldest was in college prior to entering into formation, my time was limited enough with my job and volunteering at the Church. The formation process in our diocese was very demanding in time.

Three years after ordination I was asked to work full time at the parish as ministries coordinator and took the job, but not for income purposes. 😉
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Thanks for the reply.
I’m sending in my “Inquirer’s” form this week. We’ll see how it goes. Any prayers would be appreciated!
FoT
 
FatherOfTwelve said:
All,
Just wondering if there are any Deacons out there that have large (you define) families. Any advice?

We are expecting # 13 in March.

Any Deacon serve as a DRE as well (for income reasons)?
Click to expand...
I’m not a deacon (obviously :D) …neither am I married to one…

But I’m impressed that you (no doubt with considerable help from your wife) managed to complete your training. I’m sure you are a blessing to your parish.

In my diocese the wives are expected to complete the same classes and homework as the deacons-in-training so it tends to limit the potential candidates to those with older children. (But my parish currently has ten permanent deacons so I guess it hasn’t been too big a limitation.)
 
SMHW said:
I’m not a deacon (obviously :D) …neither am I married to one…

But I’m impressed that you (no doubt with considerable help from your wife) managed to complete your training. I’m sure you are a blessing to your parish.

In my diocese the wives are expected to complete the same classes and homework as the deacons-in-training so it tends to limit the potential candidates to those with older children. (But my parish currently has ten permanent deacons so I guess it hasn’t been too big a limitation.)
Click to expand...
Sorry, My Bad!

Don’t be impressed yet! Just filling out the application:thumbsup:
 
It’s great to be a father of many children. It’s great to be a deacon. One should seriously consider the compatibility or lack of compatibility of the two vocations. I’m not in a position to say any more than that.
 
FatherOfTwelve said:
Any Deacon serve as a DRE as well (for income reasons)?
Click to expand...
don’t think my salary would support a big family, better find another day job

most of our deacons (we just ordained our first class in many years) are family men with kids at home, and do have “day jobs”.
 
On the other hand, there are some dioceses - mine among them - that basically won’t consider a candidate whose children are younger than high school, the reason being the needs of younger children for their parents and the priority of the family over the diaconate. But I’ve also seen diaconal ordination pictures with new deacons holding their small children in their arms. So there’s a lot of variation here.
 
Although some are employed by their parishes as pastoral associates, most of the deacons in our diocese have a secular job until they reach retirement age. Generally speaking, their children are at least in middle school by the time they start their training, and essentially through high school by the time they finish. It is definitely the position of the Archdiocese that the duties of marriage and fatherhood come before the duties of the diaconate. There has to be enough time “left over” and the candidate’s wife and the family still under the roof have to be signed on with the enterprise before embarking upon the diaconate. That is pretty tough to accomplish with a child still in arms.

The training is time-consuming, and as far as I know our Archdiocese does not cover the tuition costs. OTOH, if a candidate were to have some of the academic requirements under his belt already–for instance, if he had completed quite a bit of seminary work before deciding he did not have a vocation to the priesthood–then that could be a different case. It is something to talk about with the director of diaconate formation in your diocese.

DRE? For income reasons? Wow, I don’t know what they pay DREs in your diocese, but people with the education to do it are generally accepting a pay cut when they take the position. You do it for love, because even those who live on their salary find it is light on the compensation end. Because of the evening hours a DRE position typically requires, there are usually better ways to supplement an income when you still have children at home.
 
I am not a deacon, neither am I married to one. We have a man in our parish who will be ordained in a few weeks though. Based on talking to him and other deacons, I would say that the position is not something a man with a large family and/or young children should undertake. The training is time consuming and so is the job itself. Many deacons are not assigned to their home parish, so there is an issue of “commuting” time as well. I am sure the formations director in your diocese will share all the expectations with you and will take your current state in life into consideration.
 
I know that this was posted several months ago, but wanted to add my .02. I’m married to a deacon who was ordained ten months ago, so we’re still new to this but as he began his formation in 06, we’ve been living this for quite some time. We have five children ages 19-3. Yes his ministry is time consuming and yes, I often have to pick up the pieces when he is busy but I believe that he (and our whole family) gives witness by how we live our lives. I have no doubt that my husband was called to the diaconate and he certainly would have had more time if he waited until retirement, but then he would not have had the opportunity to serve in the way that God has called him to serve. His ministry is a sacrifice for him and us, but we live lives that may be somewhat novel in today’s society, we work to achieve things together. So without tooting my horn too much, my husband’s ministry is working (so far) because I and the children structure our lives to make it work. How do the children feel about it? They’ve embraced it over the years because we’ve always encouraged a life of service.

My husband is not employed by the Church in any capacity, he has an outside job. He is assigned to our home parish but his ministry of service is prison ministry.
 
I would guess it depends on your diocese and they will let you know if they allow it or not as you progress through the process.

However, Dr. Miravalle, a professor at FUS (my alma mater! <3) is a permanent deacon and had 8 children last time I checked. I imagine there might be more now, but 8 years ago when I was attending the parish he served, the youngest was a toddler or a preschooler.
 
I have six kids (ages 13- 1.5) and was in Diaconal formation for three years. We stepped back when my wife was expecting our 5th, and we have since had a sixth.

We did so as my wife needed the assistance in the pews.

I hope to go back into formation as soon as the kids are old enought that they do not need (much) parental management in the pews 🙂

What time that happens is dependant on if God chooses to grant us more children.

I have secular employment as an engineer, and plan on keeping that position.
 
I don’t have any children at the moment. Just living life and chilling.😃

Just in case anyone was wondering about my background.🤷
 
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