Dealing with a cousin who has fallen from the faith

  • Thread starter Thread starter green889
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

green889

Guest
I recently asked my cousin why he left the Church and he listed many reasons. He spoke in generalities but his problems had to do with Church doctrine he felt didn’t line up with the Bible, the Church sex abuse and cover up, and teaching on Women’s “reproductive rights”. His father “my uncle” is also Protestant and his very entrenched in his beliefs.

How do I go about explaining the faith to him or “lead him to the drinking well” so to speak? I don’t want to stay silent but I don’t want to force it down anyones throat. I can’t live his life for him. Thank you.
 
Does he like baseball or football? Would he judge the game by the players who commit crimes? Is there something wrong with baseball if a player is caught drinking and driving, is accused of spousal abuse, is arrested for some crime? Does player’s actions tarnish the game? People are sinners and the Church is full of them.
 
You can’t live his life for him; however you can live yours as best you can in the fullness of your faith. Thus you can let your light shine and by example bring him in little ways to return to the Church.
The scandal of the pedophilia crisis has rocked the Church and will continue to be both a reason and an excuse to not follow Christ in the fullness of His Church. We only have ourselves to blame and must bear this cross for many generations.
However, your cousin cannot avail against the power of the Holy Spirit who follows the sons of God as a Shepard. Your prayers for his return and your own salvation is your best weapon in your obvious love for your cousin.
Any argument re reproductive rights has to be founded in the weighing up of the eventual happiness of society in its demand for death and the right to prevent life. Natural law has a way of creeping in when a society expects to be basking in the glory of their rights. Look around and see the celebration playing out as Miss Havisham’s wedding feast.
Start with this judgement and then move to the correct issue of the will of God and our real freedom in obedience to our nature and our destiny in His arms.
Pray.
 
Petaro said:
You can’t live his life for him; however you can live yours as best you can in the fullness of your faith. Thus you can let your light shine and by example bring him in little ways to return to the Church.
The scandal of the pedophilia crisis has rocked the Church and will continue to be both a reason and an excuse to not follow Christ in the fullness of His Church. We only have ourselves to blame and must bear this cross for many generations.
However, your cousin cannot avail against the power of the Holy Spirit who follows the sons of God as a Shepard. Your prayers for his return and your own salvation is your best weapon in your obvious love for your cousin.
Any argument re reproductive rights has to be founded in the weighing up of the eventual happiness of society in its demand for death and the right to prevent life. Natural law has a way of creeping in when a society expects to be basking in the glory of their rights. Look around and see the celebration playing out as Miss Havisham’s wedding feast.
Start with this judgement and then move to the correct issue of the will of God and our real freedom in obedience to our nature and our destiny in His arms.
Pray.
Click to expand...
Thank you. There are several people in my family who have left the faith for one reason or another. However, the worst of them is my uncle who I briefly mentioned above. He loves and respects us but he sees things in the Bible that aren’t even there like justifying Africans as slaves. I want to reach out to him with evangelization but I fear hurting the relationship. Then I think about God and feel guilty for not doing anything.
 
It is his choice if he wants to leave. You can not force someme to come back. A lot has happened in the news regarding the church and perhaps he just needs to get away for a little to think about things. I don’t go to church all the time but that does not mean that I don’t love God.
 
I have many family members like your cousin, the hardest being my brother. I used to try and explain to him but many times it ended in an argument. So I no longer discuss religion with him instead I ask the Lord to reveal himself to him and to open his eyes,ears, and heart to accept and see the Lord. Praying for your cousin and all non believers.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
green889 said:
Thank you. There are several people in my family who have left the faith for one reason or another. However, the worst of them is my uncle who I briefly mentioned above. He loves and respects us but he sees things in the Bible that aren’t even there like justifying Africans as slaves. I want to reach out to him with evangelization but I fear hurting the relationship. Then I think about God and feel guilty for not doing anything.
Click to expand...
Funny, I too, whenever I think about God I feel guilty but it is normally for doing things. LOL
Ask your Uncle if Jesus had a sense of humour… it is not noted in the Bible. However there is a lot we have to learn about our Christ and it is not all through God’s word. Unfortunately, centuries of protestant schisms have shown that much can be read into the Bible; thus the need for the authority of the Church. After all Christ founded a church; he didn’t direct the Apostles to write a book. It is the Church that gives the Bible its authority.
Again, you are not sitting on your hands if you consistently pray for your family. You are not sitting on your hands in your example. You are not silent if you raise issues in an appropriate and loving forum. If they respect your actions they will respect your words.
God Bless and may Mary have you in her prayers.
 
How old is your cousin? Is there a duty for the cousin to be honoring their father (your uncle)?
 
Petaro said:
Funny, I too, whenever I think about God I feel guilty but it is normally for doing things. LOL
Ask your Uncle if Jesus had a sense of humour… it is not noted in the Bible. However there is a lot we have to learn about our Christ and it is not all through God’s word. Unfortunately, centuries of protestant schisms have shown that much can be read into the Bible; thus the need for the authority of the Church. After all Christ founded a church; he didn’t direct the Apostles to write a book. It is the Church that gives the Bible its authority.
Again, you are not sitting on your hands if you consistently pray for your family. You are not sitting on your hands in your example. You are not silent if you raise issues in an appropriate and loving forum. If they respect your actions they will respect your words.
God Bless and may Mary have you in her prayers.
Click to expand...
I just don’t know how far I should go when evangelizing. I just keep telling myself that even though I’m a sinner I’m not as far gone as others in my family.
 
Sometimes, in any argument, you can go in too strongly; getting people off side not from the content of your argument, but rather the timing, or the circumstance. Pick your time and place and raise issues politely and calmly. Back off at the slightest belligerence and continue to pray for the opportunity to evangelize at the right time.
 
green889 said:
I recently asked my cousin why he left the Church and he listed many reasons. He spoke in generalities but his problems had to do with Church doctrine he felt didn’t line up with the Bible, the Church sex abuse and cover up, and teaching on Women’s “reproductive rights”. His father “my uncle” is also Protestant and his very entrenched in his beliefs.

How do I go about explaining the faith to him or “lead him to the drinking well” so to speak? I don’t want to stay silent but I don’t want to force it down anyones throat. I can’t live his life for him. Thank you.
Click to expand...
What they say against the church may not be the real reason for them staying away, but simply a convenient answer. The real reason may be something they won’t tell you. It may be they want a more conventional life than the church offers and they are not ready to consider anything else. They aren’t ready. We don’t know always the reasons why because they don’t want to defend them, so they give other generalities.

So just tell them that whenever they are ready to discuss this with you or have any questions, then they should feel free to come to you about it. That way, at least the door is always open to them.
 
ask who is the infallible teacher of scripture for him.
then ask him where in the bible does it say everything is in the bible.

The bible canon wasn’t set until 382ad, so for 300+ years there was no bible to read for the First Christians. there was no such thing as “Where is that in the bible”

the bible says the church is the pillar and foundation of the truth not the bible.
(1 Timothy 3:15)
Catholics use Sacred tradition to interpret sacred scripture. many times from the writings of the early church.
newadvent.org/fathers/

What really got me to want to convert to the faith was researching where all the traditions came from. most of them go all the way back to before the legalization of Christianity in the Roman Empire. making it impossible for them to have been a product of Constantine…

there are 40,000 different denominations many claim to be bible alone.

many of the bible alone Christians can’t agree on the following
  • Gay Marriage
  • baptismal regeneration
  • if the Eucharist is a symbol or Christ is with the bread and wine
  • if they should be baptized by dunking or sprinkling
  • if they should baptize infants or not
  • contraception
  • what day the Sabbath is on.
  • what day christ died on.
  • if speaking in tongues is sinful, or let alone valid.
  • if you should rebaptize or do it just once.
 
One thing I would suggest is to be as faithful and as knowledgeable about the faith as you have ever been.

Pray for him.

and if he would read it, try to get him to read “Crossing the Tiber”.

God bless you.
 
Pray the novenas of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and Our Lady Untier of Knots. I pray these often and will bring his “knots” to Our Lady as well.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top