Dealing with an atheist family that hates your faith

[simon1531]

I am a recent convert to the Church from a family of atheists. Long story but I’m finally home! However, I still face a lot of animosity from my family by being honest as to what the Church teaches and embracing my Catholic faith. I always try to exercise charity and come from the love of Christ when speaking but they become enraged especially at the social teaching of the Church and begin to threaten me. As atheists I can’t convince them from the Bible and any philosophical argument which doesn’t fall into their politics (ex. Natural Law) doesn’t work much either. I struggle to know what to do and so I keep my faith private when I am around them. However, I know I’m called to share Christ’s message with them and I wouldn’t want to deny Him to save my skin.

Does anyone have experience with atheist family members or being in a predominantly atheist family? How have you balanced sharing the truth and respecting them? How do you manage when you create animosity?

Hopefully others can relate and offer advice

 

[Lou2U]

If it’s getting to the point where they’re threatening you, I would really start cutting down contact with them. That’s disgraceful behaviour.

If you don’t want to distance yourself, then I think you should just agree a truce with them and not discuss religion any more. They know what you believe, and you know you won’t change their opinions. So it would seem to me to be beating a dead horse at this point. Arguing over something so touchy will only entrench everyone into their own positions.

Speaking as an agnostic, the one quote that always stands out to me is "Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words.” Seeing acts based on religion means more to me than words. Your family may feel the same.

 

[Irishmom2]

I think you need to stop trying to convince them and leave them alone. Live your life as an example to them without saying anything to them. Arguing and debating isn’t going to work. Pray for them, and let God do the rest.

 

[Sarcelle]

My family is atheist too but they don’t exhibit the animosity that your family has displayed.

My family displays indifference rather than hostility.

I say just pray for them and try to provide a good example of how Christians should behave. Try to mirror Christ to them.

When I was an atheist, what it took to convince me were Christians who displayed Christ to me, who displayed the fruits of the Spirit.

This was more effective than preaching at me.

 

[ChuckB]

I think you need to stop trying to convince them and leave them alone. Live your life as an example to them without saying anything to them. Arguing and debating isn’t going to work. Pray for them, and let God do the rest.

This! 100%

 

[TheLittleLady]

Advice is different if you are a 15 year old or a 35 year old.

For everyone, pointing out the sins and failings of other people is never a way to show Christ’s love. Let your joy speak for itself.

 

[simon1531]

Sorry, I didn’t clarify - I’m in my early twenties

I know I have the right to my conscience and my actions as an adult. I’m just trying to learn how to respect my family’s beliefs while not compromising on my own and to avoid doing so in the face of situations where anger dominates.

 

[Pattylt]

As an agnostic, I never bring up religion. I can’t speak for all others but it’s the usual scenario. Usually, the religious one brings up their faith. I’m perfectly happy to hear what they believe and experience from their faith. Where things turn south is when someone starts telling me that I need to believe too…or I must go to their church…or what I believe as an agnostic. When the conversation has turned from a sharing of what they believe into telling me what I should believe, the conversation is over. No one has a right to do that.

If you are bringing up faith to them, just stop. If they are bringing it up to you, tell them you are happy in your beliefs and would appreciate it if they respect that. If they don’t…leave. No one, religious or not…has a right to disrespect someone else’s beliefs to their face.

I have relatives that are still quite strict believers and know I’m not. We have a wonderful time with each other and never talk religion.