Dealing with disappointment.

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Chris, stop blaming yourself. At this point, your mother is way overreacting, and you don’t deserve this. Out of curiosity, do they react this way to other things? This behavior coming from parents seems really baffling. It sounds like maybe there is another issue at hand? I know that I don’t know you or your family, but maybe something else is going on that is upsetting or stressing your mother? Perhaps you should talk with one of your siblings about this. Getting the silent treatment in regard to Stations of the Cross is just strange to me. You never intended to hurt their feelings, and when you saw that you did, you apologized. At this point, I think the ball is completely in their court. You shouldn’t have to keep dwelling on this. Focus on your studies and enjoy your college days. It sounds like this time to get out on your own will be very refreshing for you. Take advantage of it, and please don’t feel like a bad person or a bad Christian. From what you’ve told us here, it seems as though you’re a really good guy…and much more focused on morals than most people your age. Try not to let this get you down. You are your own person. Go forward and do what you feel is right.
 
TBenedicta said:
Dude. This. Send a sincere apology letter with flowers to your mom. Maybe ask your dad if he has time for a father-son day to golf or hit the batting cages or grab a beer or whatever. The prank was funny (to me) but definitely immature and played on some of your parents’ natural fears and insecurities. It’ll take time for them to simmer down. It may also take time for your relationship with them to adjust to a more “adult” relationship.** This is totally a reach and you didn’t mention this, but since you’re the youngest child they may subconsciously trying to keep you their “baby” by overreacting to your every action/opinion, thus keeping you in need of them**. Something to consider.
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I was thinking of this too.
 
Hey folks,

Sorry for the late reply, been rather busy with my studies and the Easter weekend so I hadn’t been on in awhile to post. But to check in- on Good Friday night, I called my mother and asked if she received the letter and she HADN’T, so eventually we just had a battle on the phone about the whole situation. She told me how awful and worried I made them feel and said that it was my “reaction to their shock” that sent her over the edge. She thought that my response of “Oh come on, of course this is a joke” showed that I obviously didn’t understand what I had done and how I am totally aloof to their feelings. Furthermore, she felt that I should’ve called within 24 hours to apologize instead of waiting things out and sending a letter- she felt that also shows a lack of taking responsibility on my part and that my lack of communication shows my lack of caring. In tears, I asked her if there was anything else I could do to fix this and she simply said “grow up.” I can understand where she is coming from but at the same time I felt it right to wait it out and have all of the feelings simmer down before deciding to communicate. And I thought a letter was much more heartfelt and genuine than a quick and hasty phone call just to say sorry.
I talked to her again on Monday asking if she received the letter, and she had. She still said that she is extremely worried about me and that there has to be a change in behavior, there has to be something that can change me. She said she is moving past the prank but that she is still worried about me.
I just hope some sort of providence comes into my life so I can be the person that my parents want me to be.
Maybe God is already talking to me, but I’m just not listening or not hearing it right.
Who knows.
 
topher98 said:
Hey folks,

Sorry for the late reply, been rather busy with my studies and the Easter weekend so I hadn’t been on in awhile to post. But to check in- on Good Friday night, I called my mother and asked if she received the letter and she HADN’T, so eventually we just had a battle on the phone about the whole situation. She told me how awful and worried I made them feel and said that it was my “reaction to their shock” that sent her over the edge. She thought that my response of “Oh come on, of course this is a joke” showed that I obviously didn’t understand what I had done and how I am totally aloof to their feelings. Furthermore, she felt that I should’ve called within 24 hours to apologize instead of waiting things out and sending a letter- she felt that also shows a lack of taking responsibility on my part and that my lack of communication shows my lack of caring. In tears, I asked her if there was anything else I could do to fix this and she simply said “grow up.” I can understand where she is coming from but at the same time I felt it right to wait it out and have all of the feelings simmer down before deciding to communicate. And I thought a letter was much more heartfelt and genuine than a quick and hasty phone call just to say sorry.
I talked to her again on Monday asking if she received the letter, and she had. She still said that she is extremely worried about me and that there has to be a change in behavior, there has to be something that can change me. She said she is moving past the prank but that she is still worried about me.
I just hope some sort of providence comes into my life so I can be the person that my parents want me to be.
Maybe God is already talking to me, but I’m just not listening or not hearing it right.
Who knows.
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Something doesnt jive Chris.
  1. You come across as a guy who is extremely respectful and concerned who made some really stupid choices. So, I don’t quite understand why your parents are worried about you.
  2. Does your mom not know you talked to your dad after the prank. In post 17 you state that you talked to your dad and he was upset. Did you not apologize? Why would your mother think you had not apologized until the letter?
It is human nature to make ourselves out to be better than the situation could be seen. Has that been done here? I just dont get the gravity of the reaction. Your parents are acting as if there is a huge issue here. And there could be. It is hard for us to form an opinion based on one side.
 
You sound more mature than your parents do. I think you have nothing to worry about and should stop feeling guilty.
 
Chris,

As a mother, I can understand your Mom’s “continuing to worry about you”. It is very difficult for us to let go. It’s also hard for us to stand back and allow you to make mistakes. But, that is part of the maturing process (for both child and parent). Pray for your parents. Raising children is not easy:o
 
Chris, you sound like a good guy, and you don’t deserve this peculiar guilt trip. It’s time for them to let go. You seriously sound like you’re much more moral than the average college guy. Please remember that your original intention was not to cause harm or stress to another. Now go out and enjoy your college days, responsibly of course. You’re only young once, and I say this as someone who is only about four years older than you.
 
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