Dealing with family conflict

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I have a close-knit but sometimes difficult family, and due to stressful circumstances the atmosphere has become pretty toxic lately. Everyone seems to be at each other’s throats, and there seems to be constant conflict. I love everyone dearly, and I want to respond with patience, but it’s getting increasingly hard to keep holy (and sane!). 😛 Any advice and prayers would be appreciated.
 
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If you are old enough then distant yourself from family conflict. Life is to short to live with constant drama family or not. Just do your own thing until folks calm down
 
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Everyone involved in a family conflict has the fundamental right to be heard and have their side of the issue fairly acknowledged and considered. We must be sure to communicate to all of our loved ones that they are valued, and their concerns DO matter.

Family conflict becomes the most toxic when nobody is willing to listen to anyone else, and the best way to resolve it is to grant everyone a fair hearing, consider and openly acknowledge the merits and validity of each family member’s point of view (including one’s own), and give it the respect, value and credit that’s due. Simply put, treat everyone fairly. That goes a long way toward not only resolving conflict, but preventing it in the first place.

An important principle to remember is that just because someone’s issues or concerns may seem trivial or unimportant to us, they’re entirely legitimate and important to the person expressing or communicating them, and it’s insulting to belittle them or to brush them aside and just blow them off.

The most important thing we can do when there’s conflict in the family is to let everyone talk and finish making his or her points. Interrupting or talking over people while they’re trying to speak is the surest indication that nobody cares what they have to say!

It all boils down to how we treat others as well as ourselves. And, ultimately, if agreement and/or compromise cannot be reached, then the best way to handle the conflict is for everyone to agree to disagree while still respecting and valuing one another.
 
One more important thing to remember when dealing with family conflict:

“Settling” it by having to defer to the one who shouts the loudest is NOT resolution. It’s resignation, and it doesn’t settle anything. Just because the one who yells the loudest can drown everyone else out doesn’t make that person right. EVERYONE needs to be given a fair shake, not just the person who wields the most power.
 
Working off the assumption that you’re old enough to mediate a fight.

It is better to face conflict and handle it as it arises. If you sweep it under the rug it’ll only grow bigger along with feeling of hurt and resentment.

If you aren’t part of the conflict (Example: if it’s an argument among your parents and sibling) have everyone sit down and try and resolve the issue. Before you begin however, make sure you emphasize that the aim of this discussion is to handle it LIKE ADULTS and that at no point should a person use a demeaning/ disrespectful/ rude tone.

Give every person a chance to talk about what their issue is and then try and come up with a solution.

Whenever my mom and dad used to have arguments, before having a meeting with both parties present, I’d go to them individually and hear them out. This helps them to vent out their frustration and calm down a bit. It also gives you a little insight into the problem and time to think of a good solution which you can propose at the meeting. You can also calmly explain the other person’s perspective without it seeming like you’re taking the other person’s side. You can’t always do this when everyone is present.

Idk if this would help but my mom has the habit of playing the victim if she starts losing an argument. She’ll also start opening the history books and start talking about how the other family memeber have wronged her in the past. When she starts doing that I would flip the victim card and use it myself. I would pretend like I had lost my patience with evryone and start going on about how their nonsensical behavior is affecting me and my sanity.
I don’t advise using this, because we want to solve things peacefully but yeah. This could be your last resort.

After I would (pretend) lash out, the others would grow silent and start thinking about their actions. They would be absolutely normal next day lol
 
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