Dealing with people who frequently swear and curse?

  • Thread starter Thread starter k5thbeatle
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

k5thbeatle

Guest
What is the best way to deal with people who frequently swear and curse? Not a work place situation I am speaking of here but also not a simple matter of being able to avoid these people.

Thanks

PS…Seems like more and more people fall into this habit. I was even playing golf in a tournament and was paired with a guy who constantly swore.
 
I have a lady who swears at the church when helping us to set up for bazaars. Very annoying, so I had a word with an elder about it. She told me about a friend she had years ago who constantly swore and bad swearwords too. One day she was talking to her and her friend asked her if she noticed anything different about her, my elderly friend said she didn’t, her friend told her that she’d stopped swearing completely! My friend hadn’t even noticed. Haha.

All you can do is ignore it and don’t do it yourself and show non verbal signs of disapproval. For example I had a mechanic tell me two very rude religious jokes whilst fixing my car, I smiled but looked at the ground, he noticed and said “oh, you’ve already heard them.” So, not quite right but he understood something anyway.

If the people doing it notice that you disapprove they may desist or reduce the swearing. If they are friends you could mention that you find it distasteful. If you can afford to,find new company then that’s always an option I suppose, the nuclear option perhaps!

I agree it has become too commonplace these days, we shouldn’t be frightened of showing disapproval but be careful because if you do that with strangers you may be accosted frankly, it happened to someone recently in a pub. Part of the problem is that comedy has become so rude and base that society has become accustomed to treating swearing as trivial. We can only hope that the tide is turned and soon!
God Bless.
 
Last edited:
Assuming the person is at least marginally responsive to non-verbal social cues, like expressions of disgust flashed in their direction, it usually isn’t necessary to do anything. For people who are oblivious, a light comment such as “That really wasn’t necessary.” or “Hey, there are kids here.” or even the one I don’t care for, “You seem really upset about this.” This is a little passive-aggressive and I don’t generally like to endorse shaming people for being upset about something that is legitimately upsetting though, but sometimes people are just over-dramatic.
 
The best way to deal with it is to learn to let it go in one ear and out the other. There is no way to control someone else’s language.
 
Last edited:
Quite interesting. I can get quite a mouth on me at times.

Yesterday I was frustrated because we had decided to splurge and have restaurant food delivered. Used a popular App, we were all excited to have our “Christmas” special meal (we do not have a working car, my husband is very ill and cannot get out, our adult child works Christmas, so we will be having a quiet day at home.) After half an hour, the app company calls and says that the restaurant we ordered from is closed and the app was not updated to reflect this. I’d already paid them $30 bucks!

Anyway, now we are very hungry, I ordered a pizza directly from a local place who WAS open and delivering (bad for my husband because of the sodium, but, it is a splurge for Christmas). When I hung up, I was talking to my husband about how I was going to give the driver a good tip because I appreciate them being open, delivering, and it is Christmas weekend.

Suddenly I heard a man’s voice coming from my phone saying my name 🤨 I pick it up and it was a dear friend who lives far away, a priest, former boss, a very HOLY priest who does not say so much as darn it or “OMG”.

Somehow I’d accidentally dialed him when I sat down the phone.

I am certain he heard my rant about that first restaurant and their unprofessionalism in not updating their hours of operation on their app (one of my jobs is to keep our social media presence updated with the correct times for things, it is not rocket science).

You know what Father said? He laughed at my rant, he did not scold me or chide me (and we are good enough friends that he would have had he felt I’d been saying sinful things).

Best thing to do is to realize that sometimes a curse or swear word is just going to happen. As long as the person uses such language in limited situations, as long as they know there is a time and a place for various things (for instance, I mind my language at work and in public), let it go.
 
I think there’s a slight difference between accidentally overhearing someone ranting and being intentionally treated to it at a sporting event though.
 
We are not “sports” people, but, when godchildren and our son was young we did out duty at soccer and football games. It seems to me that swearing is part of being a sports fan, from my observations.

If swearing offended my ears, I’d watch the game on TV.
 
Well, I’ve been told that our community is known for good sportsmanship, but I’ve never noticed people swearing excessively, even at professional games. Maybe isolated incidents when someone dropped beer down their lap or something like that, but not just letting them ring one after another. I’ve done a few kids games too and most people seem to want to keep it a “family atmosphere”. I believe the OPs event was a golf game, so maybe a person feels more free to “express themselves” in a more intimate group of players?
 
My old pastor is one of the chaplains assigned to the Baltimore Ravens. One of the perks of his job was seats close to thenfronbat the 50 yard line.

Despite being a huge sports fan, he eventually gave up his seats due to the incessant foul language over the years. Being a huge sports fan myself and someone who used such language when I was younger, I find it sad and reprehensible now. Such extreme vulgarity has no place in society anywhere.

Ironically, we have a high tolerance for all manner of foul language, but using language considered racist or homophobic gets you ejected. If only they cared as much about other four letter words or taking the Lord’s name in vain. I am not sure why the selective outrage.
 
Dr_Meinheimer said:
I am not sure why the selective outrage.
Click to expand...
Sometimes people are outspoken to court popularity. There has always been a tendency for people to seek to shake off the perceived shackles of the law, religious or otherwise I think, to seek liberation from the perceived tyranny of restrictions. Religion is seen by some as a tyranny, so they may blaspheme to show their contempt for what they feel is bondage. Other things which seem to champion individuality and freedom become sacrosanct to them and so criticism is seen as a personal attack on freedoms.

The illusion of freedom is a powerful one, yet all around we see laws without which chaos would ensue, natural laws and human laws both. You could even argue that the drive to individuality is a constraint on freedom itself, freedom to conform to a norm, or a group, an army etc. The freedom to forego freedom.
 
Last edited:
Just to add a note, as far as sporting events go. More professional teams are adding family seating where swearing is not allowed. As for myself, I have been on this earth a long time, and I have a great look when someone lets things go, usually it is followed up by an apology. Maybe it being female that does it, but it works for me. And when you are in my house, I will not tolerate that language. Apparently its not a bad thing as I have many visitors both young and old. And one time I was at a family party and I overheard my great Nephew (12) telling is other auntie, that she better watch her language because I was around. She asked him why does he swear at her house and not mine. His reply was priceless, because Auntie Bear doesn’t allow it. Made me proud 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top