Thank you so much for the response. It is hard to find a priest these days with time to talk to just one person like myself. You have done a great job of helping me to tie things together for me that I have got in bits and pieces.
What is dying in the state of mortal sin? An example would be you killed someone and you don’t care and you didn’t ask for forgiveness? Nor did you ask for grace? Can you kill someone and ask for grace and forgiveness and be saved?
I don’t want to go to hell and I want to make sure I’m covering all my bases in purifying my soul before God calls me. Thanks again.
I’m going to give you a long answer to your question, but first I wanted to say that it is wonderful to see you being drawn to God as you are. It is evident that God has given you a tremendous grace, which you are corresponding with. Like the Bible says “there is more joy in heaven over one person that repents, than over 99 who need to repentance”. It is truly great to see.
Regarding your question: When a person is baptized, they receive, what is known as, “sanctifying grace”. Sanctifying grace is nothing less than a share in God’s own life. You may have heard the term “born again”. That is a term from the Bible that means our soul is “reborn” with a higher form of life - supernatural life - which, as I said, is actually a participation in God’s life.
This “sanctifying grace” is what is necessary for a person to be saved. The one who dies with this supernatural life in their soul will be saved; the one who does not have this life within them when they die will be lost.
Mortal sin removes this supernatural life from our soul. Mortal means “deadly”. It is deadly because it drives away this supernatural life from within us, and thus “kills” our soul on the supernatural level. The body dies when the soul seperates from it; the soul dies when it is seperated from sanctifying grace.
The normal way to get sanctifying grace back is to go to confession. Confession is somewhat like baptism as it gives sanctifying grace to a soul that does not possess it.
So, at this point I would recommend two things: 1.) begin to pray right now that God will lead you to a good and holy Priest; and 2.) Begin to do an “examination of conscience” in order to prepare for confession.
“Examination of conscience” is where you begin to reflect upon your past to recall all the sins you have committed. You will want to do an internet search to locate a good “examination of conscience” to help you. This will list all kinds of sins, in the order of the 10 commandments. You will want to use this to help you recall your sins to prepare for confession.
The next thing to do is to call a priest and tell him you need to make a “general confession” as you have been away from the Church for such and such number of years. A “general confession” is a confession of your entire life, as opposed to a weekly, or monthly confession where you just mentioned the sins, or faults, committed since the last confession. The priest will be very happy to help you with your confession. The most important thing about the confession is that you do not withhold anything. You have to confess everything you can think of. If you forget something, that is OK, but you can’t willingly withhold anything.
And keep in mind that there is no reason at all to be embarrased. It will make the Priests day to have someone return to God after so many years.
Again, it is wonderful to see God working in your life and you correspondiing as you are.
BTW, I just prayed my Rosary and included you in my inntentions.
God Bless and please let us know how your first confession went.
and no, despite what many new agers think we are not in Hell now and freed at death to eternal happiness.