Death of former husband and church standing

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jtamchay

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Married in Catholic church to non catholic; divorced and remarried in civil ceremony to non catholic.I have been married the second time for 31 years.
First husband died this past week.

I have been practicing as a Catholic , receiving the sacraments and acting as a reader…no one is aware that I have been previoulsy married.
My husband is a Prysbeterian from birth, baptized and confirmed. He is practicing the Catholic faith with me, taking communion, sings in the choir and we both are in a small church group.
How would this be set right in the church.
Please don’t judge…just give me your best advice. Thanks
 
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jtamchay:
Married in Catholic church to non catholic; divorced and remarried in civil ceremony to non catholic.I have been married the second time for 31 years.
First husband died this past week.

I have been practicing as a Catholic , receiving the sacraments and acting as a reader…no one is aware that I have been previoulsy married.
My husband is a Prysbeterian from birth, baptized and confirmed. He is practicing the Catholic faith with me, taking communion, sings in the choir and we both are in a small church group.
How would this be set right in the church.
Please don’t judge…just give me your best advice. Thanks
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Not judging, just answering your question: How would this be set right?
  1. Confession
  2. He needs to receive the sacraments in order to receive Communion
  3. Get married in the Church
My best advice, go to a priest asap, one that seems very faithful our Church’s teachings, be very honest and tell him everything. He can tell you what is best for both of you. Don’t receive Communion (neither of you) until you have spoken with a priest (confession etc)
 
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jtamchay:
Married in Catholic church to non catholic; divorced and remarried in civil ceremony to non catholic.I have been married the second time for 31 years.
First husband died this past week.

I have been practicing as a Catholic , receiving the sacraments and acting as a reader…no one is aware that I have been previoulsy married.
My husband is a Prysbeterian from birth, baptized and confirmed. He is practicing the Catholic faith with me, taking communion, sings in the choir and we both are in a small church group.
How would this be set right in the church.
Please don’t judge…just give me your best advice. Thanks
Click to expand...
The fact that you are asking means that you know your situation is “irregular.” Go to your pastor. Lay out the whole matter before him. Be honest. Get your situation straightened out. Clearly you want to be “in” the Church and in good standing.

You do not say that you have been going to Confession. That, of course will change. I personally would not serve as a reader or receive Communion until I had a better handle on this. Sounds like something that an be straightened out short of a Papal decree!

God love ya!
 
jtamchay :tiphat:

This is simple and harmless. Go to your priest. Go to confession. Refrain from taking Communion until the issues are settled.

How exciting it is going to be for you when you are in fully reconciled with the Church. :clapping:
God is so good. :bowdown:

God :blessyou:
 
I agree with the previous poster. Make an appointment with a good priest. You will need to go to confession and if your current husband wants to receive the sacraments he needs to become Catholic. Now that your first husband has died you can have your current marriage convalidated and then you can begin receiving the sacraments again.

If you’re too embarressed to go to your own parish priest call a different parish to speak to a priest.
 
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rayne89:
If you’re too embarressed to go to your own parish priest call a different parish to speak to a priest.
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Aw heck. Why not be humble and 'fess up where the “damage” has been done. She probably got into this without being fully aware of the issues. It would be an act of great humility. 🙂 :tiphat:
 
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lifeisbeautiful:
Not judging, just answering your question: How would this be set right?
  1. Confession
  2. He needs to receive the sacraments in order to receive Communion
  3. Get married in the Church
My best advice, go to a priest asap, one that seems very faithful our Church’s teachings, be very honest and tell him everything. He can tell you what is best for both of you. Don’t receive Communion (neither of you) until you have spoken with a priest (confession etc)
Click to expand...
Couldn’t have said it better myself!
 
I concur with the above and would add one thing if you can set up a time to meet with the priest. It might take up alot of time in a regular confeession
 
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jtamchay:
Please don’t judge…just give me your best advice. Thanks
Click to expand...
best advice, here goes
make an appointment, sit down with your pastor and explain the entire situation. If confession is in order he will hear your confession. Since your first husband is dead there is probably no reason you cannot quietly have your present marriage convalidated, assuming neither of you has any other prior marriages or other impediments. Obviously your husband not being Catholic may not receive communion in the Catholic Church. Work with your pastor to have your husband come in for a conference as well (he may be more comfortable speaking privately to the priest). It sounds like he is very close to the Church and just one step away from full initiation-a profession of faith and confirmation. This by the way is nobody’s business but is a matter for discussion and resolution between the two of you and your pastor. Of course you will want to attend Mass, but not receive communion, while you are working to resolve the situation, but again, you get your pastor’s counsel at the earliest opportunity (before next Sunday would be great).

forgot to say, prepare yourself for the infusion of grace that will come to you and your marriage and family once your situation is regularized and your marriage becomes sacramental, and you are both right with the sacraments of the Church. by opening yourself up this way in humility and obedience you are inviting Jesus to work in power in your lives.
 
Speaking from personal experience (not the same as yours) the only way to reconcile is to find a good priest, look him square in the eye and pour your heart out. Like mine, he should put his arm around your shoulder and say “welcome home”.
~ Kathy ~
 
Thanks for all the advice and I will work through the process of staightening things out.
 
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