Deceased parents

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anne1234

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**I don’t know where to post this question.
Hope this is the right spot.

I’ll just bottom line everything because my story is way too long.

Last year my mom died.
Since then I had been taking care of my father who needed 24 hr care.
He died last week.

I have had the weight of legal matters to personal matters on my shoulders.
My husband is very supportive but knows that I have to make the final decisions.

Relatives have been useless to me including my sister who lives in another country.
Infact they all have made my life a living he!!.

My question is, do any of you talk to your loved ones who have passed away? Do you ask them to help you when you are stressed and depressed?

Is this praying to them?

thanks for reading this.
**
 
Anne,

I’m sure the saints in heaven are glad to hear from you. :yup: There is one monsignor that I ask for his intercession. He officiated at my marriage. I hope he is in heaven. He was the first priest I knew in any real way. I also pray for him, in case he is in purgatory.

I am very sorry your parents have died. It does not surprise me that you address your parents with your worries.

:blessyou:
 
**Thank you Pug for replying.

I’m still confused though.
Is my asking my parents to help me “praying” to them?

When I ask Jesus to help me I feel that is praying.
I pray to him and to Mother Mary to help soften my heart from all the hatred and anger I have concerning relatives who are making my life miserable at a time where I am grieving the deaths of my parents.

I find my self also praying… talking… to my parents to help me and to have what they wanted done.

thanks again for reading this.
**
 
Yes, of course you can talk to your parents.

We don’t know the particular state of another person’s soul, so praying for them is an act of mercy, if they’re in a state of purification before entering the presence of God. And if they’re already in heaven, God will use your prayers for some other benefit, so prayers are never wasted.

And ask them to pray for you, too. In purification or in heaven, they are in a good position to intercede for your intentions. God may answer your questions.

I’m so sorry that you’ve lost your parents. It sounds as if other family members are not pulling together and loving each other, which is a tragedy when there’s a death in the family. We’ll pray for you, too.
 
anne1234 said:
**I’m still confused though.
Is my asking my parents to help me “praying” to them?
**
Click to expand...

Anne,

Hmm, I would say you are praying to them as you are asking or petitioning them for their help and for them to listen to you. So my answer is yes. Perhaps also your grief is involved in this case, because of the new death. I am worried of saying anything that might be inappropriate given your recent events!

Your parents can’t answer a prayer like Jesus can, but I think you know this. Jesus can grant the answer to a prayer just by granting it. Your parents would ask Jesus to answer your prayer and/or help you, which is like what I am about to do for you:

I will pray for you about the situtation with your living relatives.😃
 
**Thank you both.

I have been praying that ALL our hearts and souls and minds be softend.

it’s very hard… as you may have already guessed, money and ‘stuff’ is involved 😦
**
 
anne1234 said:
**it’s very hard… as you may have already guessed, money and ‘stuff’ is involved 😦
**
Click to expand...

Oh, doesn’t it seem that this is often the case! Everyone is sad and upset and then there is money to consider, which is upsetting in itself, and everyone is at one of the most stressful times in a person’s life, so perhaps they behave badly. Both the person listening and the person hearing are at their rope’s end, so much goes awry. I think it is a very hard time for many families. Keep on praying!
 
Anne, I haven’t read the other post on this, however, I pray to my parents all the time and why not. I believe, as you must, they are
amoung the Communion of Saint, perhaps in Purgatory, but still they are alive.

I’ve written in other threads about this, Paul in Corinthians tells us the in the end Love is what will last, and how can the bond of Love between a parent and a child be broken if this is what we know to be true. More, I have to think that our God Who is Love, would never come between this bond, no, my belief is God’s love can only perfect the love of your parents for you, and does allow their love to be manifested to you according to His Will, which is another way of saying - the best way possible.
 
Dear Anne,

What a time you are having.

Suggestions for dealing with the relatives:

Try, above all, to be just.

Take all statements that “He/she promised that to me” with a grain of salt, unless they can prove it in your parents’ writing, or you knew about it in advance.

If there’s too much fighting about what goes to whom, just threaten to sell the disputed items and split that money between the gripers. (Then do it!)

Anybody that is entitled to an article must either come pick it up or pay for it to be shipped (including packaging).

YOU, being on the spot, burdened with all these decisions and actions, and (above all) having cared for your father without any help, get first choice!

…And, last but not least, pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy every day!
 
Anne,

I hope the other responses have helped clear up the confusion. My personal opinion is that asking your deceased parents to help you is (a) praying to them and (b) entirely appropriate. Hang in there and there are (I am sure) a lot of people here praying for you, including me.
  • Liberian
 
**Thank you all again 🙂

I check this post often to see any replies.

Also… I have checked the Divine Mercy Chaplet Devotion and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.

These two are a little different.
I am familiar with the story of how this prayer came to be from RCIA class.

So I’m assuming either one is appropriate?
**
 
Absolutely pray to your parents. In addition, pick out a few saints… maybe your name saint… or the patron saint of lawyers or of your regular occupation. Get a book on the saints and leaf through it and find some likely intercessors.

Ask your husband to pray over this for you. And pray for him, in turn.

Finally, invoke the Holy Spirit… for direction and guidance. AND call upon all the angels, your guardian angel and all the others to guide you. Get a book on angels. In fact, there is an excellent series on EWTN about angels. *

Visit EWTN’s web site and see if you can find the show or the tape.*
 
Right after my Mom died (was a teenager then), the priest (also our family friend) told us since my Mom had suffered so many months battling cancer, she was probably in heaven, so we should talk to her and ask her to intercede for us as she was closer to God. I still remember this asnd always remember to do this especially when faced with tough decisions.
A few weeks ago my Grandmother died and I again remembered this and told my son about it and that he can ask GreatGrandma and Grandma and Granny to intercede for him when he prays.
 
I have five children. My third child died as an infant(SIDS). I have often prayed for her intercession in relation to my youngest daughter(her sister).I think she helps her. I can’t say in what ways but I can sense God’s Presence in my prayers. I ask him to allow her to help her sister because I know He is so busy with other things. I see her as my daughter’s gaurdian angel and I stop worrying.
My daughter died 23 years ago. I doubt if anyone would tell me I can’t have a (spiritual) relationship with her. If they did I wouldn’t believe them. I know I have felt her presence often especially at family events and ceremonies.I see her(in my minds eye)with the Virgin Mary.
My parents are close to going back to Jesus now. They are 85&89. My mother has health problems.I am ready to release her physical presence to me but I will always be tied to her emotionally and spiritually. I look forward to the day that she can talk directly to Jesus and ask for his help for me.
Please leave that door open to you . The more you ask your parents for help the more you will see God allowing them to work miracles in your life.You may even solve the money issues.May God Bless you and your loved ones.
 
Anne,

I talk to my deceased father nearly every day. He went home to Jesus Dec. 8, 1974. My father had a tremendous love for Mary. He prayed the rosary daily, went to mass the first Fri. of every month, etc. I think that it was no coincidence that he was taken home on a feast day of Mary. I also talk to my grandmother and other relatives that were wonderful to me as I grew up. If nothing else, I am comforted by the very thought that they are in heaven waiting for me to join them when God calls me home.

Keep praying, know that you have a family in heaven as well as friends here on earth praying for you.

Love and peace,

Mom of 5
 
anne1234 said:
I don’t know where to post this question.
Hope this is the right spot.

I’ll just bottom line everything because my story is way too long.

**Last year my mom died. **
Since then I had been taking care of my father who needed 24 hr care.
He died last week.

I have had the weight of legal matters to personal matters on my shoulders.
My husband is very supportive but knows that I have to make the final decisions.

Relatives have been useless to me including my sister who lives in another country.
Infact they all have made my life a living he!!.

My question is, do any of you talk to your loved ones who have passed away? Do you ask them to help you when you are stressed and depressed?

Is this praying to them?

thanks for reading this.
Click to expand...

I had the same thing happen to me. My father died in 1997, and my mother died a couple of years ago. I had to do everything as well. No one was of any help. I understand your pain. I talk to my mother all the time. I often feel like she is listening to me and it brings me a little bit of comfort. It is not praying to them, it is conversing with them. That is the way I put it. Sorry about your loss and I will pray for you and your family.
 
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