Decoration Services

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Another tradition, that may be particular to the rural south, is Decoration Day services. Many of our churches have cemeteries. A “Decoration” is a special week, usually in late April or May, when families place flowers on the graves of loved ones.

The Decoration Day services is a special service that is usually twice as long as a regular service. During this service those who have been buried in the cemetery the previous year are named. Sometimes friends or family will sing a song or give a short “testimony” in honor of the lost loved one. These services are usually very well attended as family and friends who don’t normally attend the church will attend.

After the service there is a covered dish lunch and then usually after lunch there is a time of hymn singing.

My mother passed away last July and my siblings and I are going to put flowers on her grave the Saturday before the Decoration Service this year. The service is on mother’s day.

Have any of you ever heard of this or participated in something like this?
 
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Decoration Day is another name for “Memorial Day”, it began as a memorial for military service however people often also decorate/visit the graves of their non-military loved ones.

WalMart will be full of grave decorating flower choices.

It happens in May every year in the US.


It sounds as if in your area they select a different day to honor the dead in the parish. This is a lovely idea, however, I wonder why in the spring instead of on All Souls Day.

Personally, I’d not pick Mother’s Day as people often have family events planned that day.

ETA you and your family can place flowers any time of the year (if the Cemetery permits it!)
 
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I have never heard of this and I do not think it happens here in the UK.

I would like to ask, as it is probably an Americanism, what is a ‘covered dish lunch’? I am inferring it is not literal.
 
TomH1 said:
I would like to ask, as it is probably an Americanism, what is a ‘covered dish lunch’? I am inferring it is not literal.
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It’s a potluck. People all bring something to share with the group. Usually it’s a hot casserole or some type of a salad (macaroni salad, potato salad, green salad etc)
 
A pot-luck, a bring and share. You make one item of a meal, for instance mashed potatoes or a salad, you make a large portion and bring it to the event. All of the food is put on a buffet and the people share a meal made by many hands.
 
lanman87 said:
Have any of you ever heard of this or participated in something like this?
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In USA we typically have an All Souls’ Day (November 2) memorial Mass honoring the beloved dead of the parish, and any dead relatives of those in the parish. In recent years it has become popular to have “bereavement Masses” around All Souls’ Day where those who have lost a loved one in the past year can submit the name of the person for printing in a flyer, can participate in special ceremonies with candles or flowers, can bring a photo of their loved one which is placed in front of the sanctuary with other pictures for the Mass and all the people being so commemorated are prayed for, etc.

I have been to a couple of these Masses in the past year and they were very nice commemorations.

Decorating graves is usually not part of the program, partly because most of the Catholic churches nowadays don’t have an attached cemetery and people are buried all over. In the case of my recently deceased loved ones, most of them were not Catholic and all of them were buried out of state from where I was attending the Mass, so a trip to the grave was not part of the day’s program as the graves are 5 to 7 hours away. I also am not big on decorating graves, personally, but that’s another topic.
 
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Sounds more or like what we would call a buffet. Do you call it pot luck because you don’t know what people are bringing?

I remember one occasion Father quite pointedly saying in the announcements at the end of Mass that for the next parish social event there was a list of items at the back of church that people could put their names against if they were going to bring that item. At the previous event most people had brought sausage rolls!
 
We do have Masses of a similar kind around November time.

If course, visiting the cemetery is part of the Catholic tradition at that time of year. But, as you point out few Catholic churches have an attached graveyard and one’s relatives are buried in many places. In fact, I’ve been thinking as I wrote this post but can’t think of a single Catholic church I know which has an attached grave yard.
 
TomH1 said:
Do you call it pot luck because you don’t know what people are bringing?
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Everyone brings a pot and you cross your fingers and pray you have good luck not to get food poisoning (that is my skepticism and germ o phobia talking).
 
So the luck is more about the quality of the food or how hygienically it was prepared. I just wondered if it had meant there is no prior agreement as to who will bring what and you could may be end up with a dozen pots of the same dish.
 
The Catholic churches with attached graveyards in USA tend to be very old, and these days they are generally full or mostly full.

Most churches nowadays are located in areas that have a lot of restrictions on where people can be buried due to zoning, development, or concerns about contamination of water, etc.
 
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Really that is why, sort of “the luck of the draw” what will be available. I’m just being a bit sarcastic about germs 🙂

Often there will be some assignment, for instance if your last name begins with:

A-D: Bring a meat/meatless main course dish

C - I: bring salad

J - S: bring a veg or other side

T- V: bring a starch/grain/bread

W-Z: bring dessert

This way you don’t end up with all cold salads or only big bowls of green beans.
 
TomH1 said:
I just wondered if it had meant there is no prior agreement as to who will bring what and you could may be end up with a dozen pots of the same dish.
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They will often try to get people to sign up for certain things so that everybody does not all bring the same type of dish. One group of people will be asked to bring salad, one group will be asked to bring main dish, one group will be asked to bring dessert, etc.
 
I do know a lot of graveyards that are officially ‘closed’ because they are full. However, they’re all attached to Anglican (Episcopalian) churches. I know of one Methodist church with a graveyard. The church has been demolished so I think that graveyard is closed. Other than those attached to Church of England (the state church) churches I can’t think of one. I’m now intrigued and will look into this unless another Brit comes along and says he/she knows some. It’s making me wonder if it’s a legacy from penal times and we weren’t allowed them.
 
Mind you although I do eat at parish events you can’t always know the state of people’s kitchens.

We have a friend who comes to dinner occasionally and we’re highly honoured because she won’t eat at most people’s homes and in all their married life she and her husband have never been to a restaurant. She won’t even have a coffee out. When she’s been anywhere as soon as she gets home all her clothes go in the washing machine and she showers. I don’t know if she does that when she’s been to out house. I keep trying to tell her that her immune system won;t be robust if she’s too clean. But, she ought to know. She teaches biology, too.
 
In the Catholic Church there is the Feast of All Souls on November 2. There is a plenary indulgence for visiting cemeteries from November 2 through November 8.
 
poche said:
There is a plenary indulgence for visiting cemeteries from November 2 through November 8.
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Just to clarify, it is available on November 1 as well (available each day Nov 1 through Nov 8), and also, this plenary indulgence is only applicable to the Poor Souls in Purgatory; unlike other plenaries, you can’t keep the benefits for yourself. But that’s not a big deal to people who routinely assign all their indulgences and merits away to Mary, Jesus, or the Poor Souls anyway.
 
In Wales there is a tradition of ‘Sul y Blodau’ (Sunday of Flowers) - on Palm Sunday the graves of loved ones are cleaned and decorated with flowers in preparation for Easter. There may also be short prayer recited at the grave, but this is done privately or as a family. There’s no official church service.
 
I think that these decoration days are a good opportunity to pray for the dead.
 
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