Defending My Faith

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I have a relative who is in the Reformed Protestant Faith. She is always “inserting” her religious views when we talk. I believe that she thinks that I will not go to heaven because I am a Catholic. I am a converted evangelical and love the Catholic Church. She is an ex-Catholic. I always feel defensive when she is preaching to me. Can anyone give me some clues on how to lovingly express that I am happy with my own religion?
 
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what do you mean by “inserting?” is it pretty blatant she wants you to convert? maybe this is an opportunity for you to evangelize her back into the Catholic Church. Historically speaking, if you know enough about it there is no reason you shouldn’t be Catholic.
 
I would say literally nothing in response to her preaching, just like Christ did before Pilate. Silence speaks volumes. Respond only to the part of the conversation not related to faith. If she asks a direct question about faith, offer a direct answer. Also, in my experience, I’ve had to distance myself from friends and family who refuse to accept my faith or feel the need to insert comments, even when I make a point of not broaching the subject myself out of respect for their right not to believe.
 
She quotes scripture to me. She speaks about what God wants us to do at the most inappropriate moments. It is impossible for me to have a normal conversation with her. She was catechized as a child and left the Church in her late teens when she married. I don’t think she really understood her Catholic faith.
 
Well,
  1. If you are willing to have a conversation where you are ready to defend your faith you could do that.
  2. You could ask her if everything is alright, and that you notice that something religious is on her mind,
    ask her if she’d like to talk about it.
  3. You could ignore it.
it seems like she cares about you though, conversations like that don’t come around that often at least in my life haha.
 
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You pegged it perfectly Brian. I think that she is a person that I can only have a superficial relationship with because I simply can’t be myself around her. I’m not good at debating about my faith.
 
can I ask what she is specifically preaching about? maybe give you some ammo (talking points).
 
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Thank you so much. I do think that she cares about me. I really hadn’t even explored that thought.
 
No, don’t think of smart things to say back to her because that will only prolong arguing with her, and it will encourage her to keep going.

Just sit down with her and tell her gently, but firmly, “You know we don’t agree on faith. I understand your point of view and I want you to know I am happy with my religion and I will not be changing my opinion. Let’s talk about other things and see what we have in common”. Or something along those lines. And afterwards if she tries to preach to you again, just say “We’re not discussing our religion, remember?” and redirect the conversation.
 
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She talks about Bible verses on grace and patience, etc. On virtues that God wants me to have. I feel sad, too, because I don’t feel open to say anything about our Blessed Mother Mary. Mary is one of the things that initially attracted me to Catholicism. I loved her even when I was a Protestant!
 
This is very good advice. I wonder if I am going to have to be this direct with her. It is very hard for me to be direct.
 
I think directness is the only way to get through to her, really. And hopefully you would only have to say it once.
 
Just one other thought…since she quotes scripture to you, write down what she quotes and her reasons and offer to reflect on it, then use it as a prompt to research the Church’s teaching on it. Not necessarily to come back with a response and “get her”, but to strengthen your own understanding of your faith. A friend of mine did this while meditating on the Real Presence in the Eucharist and discovered that his own reasoning behind his belief was the same as St Ambrose’s 1600 years ago…he’s never asked “what if” about the Eucharist since.

Though if she does bring the topic up again and you respond with Church teaching, you’ve shown respect for her by taking additional time and thinking over what she said. That very act is probably a more powerful witness than any rational or logical proof of this or that bible verse.

Lastly, this video came to mind. Powerful and enjoyable, and she might enjoy as well.
 
Well sometimes our non catholic friends and family will make remarks and drop hints that they are concerned or just plain curious as to why we choose to be Catholic.

A majority have no idea what the Church actually teaches and what little they do know is based upon personal views and opinions that could be centered around their own negative experiences when they once identified as Catholic.

I don’t know how long ago you converted, but just speak lovingly with her and be patient with their misguided views. You don’t have to be a skilled theologian or even know your Bible from front to back.

Just speak from your heart as to why you love your faith and the Church. If there are questions you don’t know the answer to, just say “I’m sorry but I’ll have to look into what you’re asking and I’ll be sure to get back to you when I can find the answers.”

And remember

“Enthrone Christ as Lord in your hearts. If anyone asks you to give an account of the hope which you cherish, be ready at all times to answer for it, but courteously and with due reverence.” 1 Peter 3:15.
 
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I would say that Catholics have plenty of ways to live their lives in pursuit of growing in virtue. We pray the rosary, read the Bible, go to Mass, and receive the sacraments all of which give us grace which is from God alone. Mary our Blessed Mother (and her’s too) is our primary role model (aside from the Lord Himself) when it comes to growing in virtue and living out a holy life. Doing these things is how we live out our faith and receive grace each and every day. Maybe she would like to do these things with you or maybe not, but wouldn’t hurt to ask.
 
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Really good advice. I read Scott Hahn’s book “Rome Sweet Home” right after I converted to Catholicism. Yes, I will watch this video and possibly ask her to view it.Thank you!
 
Thank you. I converted 11 years ago. My husband did 9 years later. That is a great Bible verse.Thank you.
How do you provide an answer to something like venerating Mary or the Real Presence in the Eucharist – something uniquely Catholic that there is not a specific Bible verse for?
 
Well there’s a lot that can be said with regards to those two topics. When I’m asked about the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, a common place to turn is John 6. That entire chapter is centered around the Eucharist and the real presence.

If you’re familiar with the story in Exodus about the Jews’ flight from Egypt you can make the connection between the two events. Before the Jews fled Egypt they were commanded to take an unblemished lamb, kill it and then eat it. But they had to follow the commands to the letter, so they couldn’t eat a pig or a cow or anything else that symbolized the lamb, they had to eat the lamb.

So if Jesus is the new lamb. Which John the Baptist called Him when he saw Him coming, “behold the lamb of God” and since Jesus was celebrating that same Passover with his apostles; you’ll notice that when Jesus celebrates the Passover he doesn’t use a lamb, instead he takes the bread and tells his disciples “this is my body, which is given up for you, do this is in remembrance of me”.

And what exactly are they doing, they are instituting the new covenant and eating his body and drinking his blood. Just like Jesus told the crowd they would have to do in John 6.

Why would they have to do that, because when the Jews fled Egypt it wasn’t enough for them to just kill the lamb and spread its blood over the door post, they had to eat the lamb. So it isn’t enough that we merely remember Jesus’s death on the cross. For us, in order to have life just like the Jews, we have to eat the lamb or in this case the Eucharist, which is truly Jesus’ body and blood.
 
I apologize for the long response and if it’s kind of messy and simplistic. LOL I tried to break it down as simply as possible. Obviously there’s a lot more to it. 😁
 
Wonderful!!! This is perfect!!! That is amazing how you show the parallels of the lamb, the Passover and our Eucharist. I have never heard it put this way. I totally understand and am going to read your response so I can present it to my friend. Thank you!
 
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