Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness

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February 27, 2006 | Issue 42•09

WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that, despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widespread calls for change in Washington, their party will remain true to its hopeless direction.
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"We are entirely capable of bungling this opportunity to regain control of the House and Senate and the trust of the American people," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said to scattered applause. "It will take some doing, but we're in this for the long and pointless haul."


"We can lose this," Reid added. "All it takes is a little lack of backbone." Despite plummeting poll numbers for the G.O.P nationwide and an upcoming election in which all House seats and 33 Senate seats are up for contention, Democrats pledged to maintain their party's [sheepish resignation](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45793).
 
The Onion is a parody news paper. However, saying that, many of their “stories” are based on reality taken to the absurd (but plausible) conclusion.

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