Depressed and Breaking Down in Tennessee...Please Pray For Me

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Amanda22

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I am a 22 year old female in Tennessee, and I have been suffering from severe anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, self mutilation when I was younger, and very, very low self-esteem since I was 16. I will get better, then I will have a downfall and I don’t get back up. I don’t go to church, because I feel judged by everyone, I can’t do it. I believe in God, I pray and I ask for help, but it seems as though it never comes. I used to cut myself, but I stopped awhile back. I still get the urge to…I know that I have so many things to be thankful and lucky for, but it seems I just can’t be happy. I don’t feel accepted or loved by anyone. I think my husband hates me, because he won’t help me overcome this problem, he makes it worse by cussing me and not doing little things that I ask for him to do to help me. I have a lot of great qualities, but it seems they are always not enough. I don’t dress like other people, I dress my age, and I dress in what I like, which draws cristicism and nasty remarks, they don’t even know me, but they hate me because I wear belly shirts and “sexy” shirts. You see, I am not willing to change “me”, to make them happy, but it torments me everyday to feel so unliked. I get depressed and suicidal…I just want it to stop, and to go where they can’t hurt me…sometimes, eternal torment seems better than to feel like this…I really need your prayers, it seems mine go unheard. 😦 😦
 
Amanda,

Sorry to read you feel depressed. I think you should talk to your pastor or priest about going to counseling. If you are suffering from depression it is a real disease and it isn’t your fault, but you have to help yourself seeking professional help. One of the toughest things about depression it makes it hard for people to seek help.

In the mean time I think you should concentrate on true and beautiful things. You can choose to do it. Every time you feel overwhelmed in life simply think of Christ and His love. Most importantly continue to pray.
 
Amanda, I will pray. Do you have anyone you can call to talk to right now, besides us internet folk? You seem worried and unhappy.😦 I’m worried.
 
No, I don’t Pug, the only person I could talk to would be my husband, and he will only upset me more, it isn’t worth it…
 
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Amanda22:
No, I don’t Pug, the only person I could talk to would be my husband, and he will only upset me more, it isn’t worth it…
Click to expand...
Then don’t talk to him for now. Did something in particular happen?
 
No, I have felt like this for awhile, although the relapse only started last night, I was at my most progress it had been 16 days of no worry or depressrion, or low self-esteem.
 
Are you worried about the Holidays? Is there something you feel that triggered this most recent onslaught of anxiety? (Problem with hubby, work, school, finances, etc.)
 
It is a hard thing, to be depressed. I’m glad you’ve had relief those 16 days! Though maybe that makes it the more annoying when it comes back.:whacky: I was just going to sleep when I caught your post. Do you need me to stay and talk?..Ah, nevermind, I see Princess Abby is here. She is quite nice. No worries then.

Lord God, send peaceful sleep to refresh our tired bodies. May your help always renew us and keep us strong in your service.
 
**NOTICE:
**
After much thought, the moderation and administrative staff have decided not to allow solicitation on the forums of people with specific health concerns. While well-intentioned, it does create potentially serious problems.

It is not possible for reliable support to be given in an open forum community. Any advice could, potentially, be dangerous. People experiencing specific health problems should seek a referral to a certified health professional.

Also, CAF simply does not have sufficient moderation and administrative resources at this time to closely monitor all such threads.

However, it is certainly legitimate to also seek spiritual help for dealing with health problems. Those in need of prayers and the like are encouraged to post in the Spirituality forum. Nevertheless, if such threads drift into medical advice, we will be forced to close them down.

Considering the OP’s previous post in which occult activities were noted as the source of such distress, following up with medical and spiritual direction would be much more beneficial than the well-intentioned support of those here in regards to mental health issues.

Issues of modesty, conforming one’s comportment to the holiness we are called to, attaining greater communication and happiness in marriage, how to pray, what to do when we don’t “feel” like doing the right thing, and other related topics are all relevant and worthy of discussion (though not all are appropriate for the Spirituality forum).

I welcome you back to the boards, Amanda, and will keep you in my prayers, as well as ask our prayer warriors in the Prayer Request thread to keep you in theirs.
 
Amanda,
I read a book by a woman who had spiritual difficulties as the result of previous engagement with bad influences–she called it spiritual oppression. Very little of the book was involved with this, but she did mention it and talked about how she was involved with counseling which helped to a certain extent, and then she got help from a priest. The book is called A Mother’s Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot. I mention it because she does talkabout how as a Catholic she benefitted from counseling but how she also needed spiritual help. I second Catherine’s advice and everyone else’s help with this in real life–and I want to add: **keep looking. ** When I returned to the Church, I had a need for help, and priests kept not addressing what I needed help with and I just kept trying new priests until I found one who was able to help. But the other thing is, that it is not a question of not liking what you hear, either (I’m not saying *you *would do that), but making sure that you are actually being helped.

Do also keep praying–when I was first told that, it didn’t make any sense, but if you keep doing it, God will amazingly answer one way or another. Even tho you can’t talk with your husband about this, you can talk with God. I pray that you will be able to find the help you need.

Please post about some of the other questions as I am sure that others here will be able to help you with certain specifics.
 
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