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Amanda22
Guest
I am a 22 year old female in Tennessee, and I have been suffering from severe anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, self mutilation when I was younger, and very, very low self-esteem since I was 16. I will get better, then I will have a downfall and I don’t get back up. I don’t go to church, because I feel judged by everyone, I can’t do it. I believe in God, I pray and I ask for help, but it seems as though it never comes. I used to cut myself, but I stopped awhile back. I still get the urge to…I know that I have so many things to be thankful and lucky for, but it seems I just can’t be happy. I don’t feel accepted or loved by anyone. I think my husband hates me, because he won’t help me overcome this problem, he makes it worse by cussing me and not doing little things that I ask for him to do to help me. I have a lot of great qualities, but it seems they are always not enough. I don’t dress like other people, I dress my age, and I dress in what I like, which draws cristicism and nasty remarks, they don’t even know me, but they hate me because I wear belly shirts and “sexy” shirts. You see, I am not willing to change “me”, to make them happy, but it torments me everyday to feel so unliked. I get depressed and suicidal…I just want it to stop, and to go where they can’t hurt me…sometimes, eternal torment seems better than to feel like this…I really need your prayers, it seems mine go unheard.