Depression and God

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olive.tree

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I suffered from terrible depression this year. I have always had relationship problems with my mother but this year has been quite bad. It got to a point where I needed medication. I struggled quite a while before my mother found out. Now I would like to point out that my mother is very religious and goes to church three to four times a week. We also pray the Divine Mercy chaplet and Rosary together as a family daily. But she reacted so terribly to my situation. She would come out of Mass and scream about how I was possessed by the devil, getting fat, was a mental patient, etc. It was like she knew how the words cut and kept digging deeper and deeper. She would curse me and say God was punishing me for things I did, but mind you I have never done anything terrible in my life. I am better now but I feel like my relationship with God has been severed. I can’t bring myself to be close after feeling so dejected and humiliated for something I didn’t choose. I feel so bitter at being the cursed one.
 
Your mother is not God. She is a sinner like all of us. Don’t transfer your feelings towards your mother towards God. He loves you more than your mother. “Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7
 
Does God punish though? My mum used to curse me in the past. It’d be for things like not eating lunch or not doing chores. Does that come true?
 
olive.tree said:
Does God punish though? My mum used to curse me in the past. It’d be for things like not eating lunch or not doing chores. Does that come true?
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Please speak with your Priest about this and allow him to put your mind at ease over this. He may even mediate and ask your mum to come in and correct a few of things like you were not possesed by the devil.
 
It’s not God you should be angry with, but your mother. She sounds like she has taken a very extreme and superstitious position. I wouldn’t say that your mother is “very religious” at all. Her actions certainly don’t suggest charity or faith in God. You should try to not let this affect your faith. God is still with you and He is not responsible for the actions of your mother.
 
Depression is a serious issue and it’s good you’re getting help.

It sounds like you’re living at home?
Did you know that in addition to family therapy, couples therapy can also be used for any two people in a family conflict or communications problem.

It’s hard for us to give a good answer in this case.
We don’t lnow how old you are , we don’t know any backstory, we don’t lnow how you and your Mom interact with each other.

We’ve all know cases of people who were basically good and decent on their own, but would behave in ways to trigger and provoke each other, often not doing it on purpose, but over time bad communication habits slipped into the relationship and their dynamic was very rocky.

Of course, in general, name calling, double-binding, “yelling at”, statements like “you always” “you never” “why can’t you be more like so-and-so”, eye rolling and stonewalling harm relationships.
 
I think that both of you could benefit from therapy, though getting her to go maybe very hard. Only way she might agree is if you addressed the priest of your parish.Maybe he could speak to her if necessary to get her to go with you. And it can help with you to be able better cope with her attitude. Look ,my sister’s in laws fight.They push each other’s buttons.,like the folks mentioned in the post above mine. Ross’s dad talked to him and told him what was going on, and his dad is really making an effort .They are retired so Covid-19 doesn’t things. I’ve been praying for them and things seem to be better. Course I had to ask Jesus to hit His Father’s people up side the head with a club(Ross is jewish) but it has worked.
You mom sounds like Ross’s. She got mad at her Aunt Sylvia and wrote her a letter, saying You’re dead to me., and her aunt and the rest of the family are like what the heck? We of course don’t know how all this started between you and your mother, it must go way back. But know Jesus and the Holy Spirit are there for you. And please reach out to a licensed therapist or psychologists. There are also priests and sisters who have those qualfications if that helps any.
 
It sounds like your mother is suffering from something, and you must not take any negative words from her personally.
Your parish may have resources regarding behavioral health.
 
olive.tree said:
Does God punish though? My mum used to curse me in the past. It’d be for things like not eating lunch or not doing chores. Does that come true?
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No.
And it sounds like maybe your Mother needs to do some counseling. Her actions seem out of the norm… and harmful. No wonder you’ve suffered with depression. But turn TO God through this - not away. It’s your Mom, not God.
 
Thanks so much everyone for the responses, I very overwhelmed by them. I feel a lot more encouraged to face God. I am not 100% there yet but it’s a jouney I am willing to face. With regards to counselling, I am hoping to speak to a priest soon. God bless you all
 
I hoping to move out in three years. I think I will suggest family counselling to a priest as we have had a lot of family problems in the past. My mother has an authoritarian take on parenting so we never have had an honest emotional relationship. I have found my faith to struggle due to the amount of conflict despite being such a religious family. Though now feel a lot comforted by the thought that I am not being punished by God.
 
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