Depression (please read )

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HI All this is going to be a long post so I appologize in advance. I just graduated from college in August of 2013 and got a job in September working in a Jail. THat job turned out not to be for me and i Have been out of work for over 3 months. I realize that is not a long time but I have become bored and depressed and Borderline Scrupulous although I don’t know if that is related. I guess the reason I tell this to you is to relate and Incedent that occured one time where I was texting one of my friends and He didn’t respond back for a while and I assumed he was mad at me so I started praying and I asked the saints for intercession and I was getting depressed and had a suicidal though but I shook it off immediatley as I would NEVER do that but the reason I say this is i kind of said to myself I think the saints are laughing at me not really thinking about what I was saying ( I said this out loud to myself by the way) getting to the point I guess my question would be was that a sin. I applogized to God for it but I didn’t confess it. I know for mortal sin If you reject the temptation its not a sin so I don’t think the "suicidal though"was a sin becuase I didn’t want to think it it just poped in and i was depressed and worried but I would never comtemplate it … Anyway I am just concerned I sinned because I didn’t mention it in my last confession but I received Communion. Was I wrong to do so.
 
catholic235 said:
HI All this is going to be a long post so I appologize in advance. I just graduated from college in August of 2013 and got a job in September working in a Jail. THat job turned out not to be for me and i Have been out of work for over 3 months. I realize that is not a long time but I have become bored and depressed and Borderline Scrupulous although I don’t know if that is related. I guess the reason I tell this to you is to relate and Incedent that occured one time where I was texting one of my friends and He didn’t respond back for a while and I assumed he was mad at me so I started praying and I asked the saints for intercession and I was getting depressed and had a suicidal though but I shook it off immediatley as I would NEVER do that but the reason I say this is i kind of said to myself I think the saints are laughing at me not really thinking about what I was saying ( I said this out loud to myself by the way) getting to the point I guess my question would be was that a sin. I applogized to God for it but I didn’t confess it. I know for mortal sin If you reject the temptation its not a sin so I don’t think the "suicidal though"was a sin becuase I didn’t want to think it it just poped in and i was depressed and worried but I would never comtemplate it … Anyway I am just concerned I sinned because I didn’t mention it in my last confession but I received Communion. Was I wrong to do so.
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I’m more concerned right now about other things than that being a sin right now.

Are you in treatment right now? I hope you are, since suicidal ideations, even though one wouldn’t act on them, are not to be ignored.

The other question I had was if you are getting by, economically. If not, I may be able to recommend some resources to you if you’d like.
 
catholic235 said:
HI All this is going to be a long post so I appologize in advance. I just graduated from college in August of 2013 and got a job in September working in a Jail. THat job turned out not to be for me and i Have been out of work for over 3 months. I realize that is not a long time but I have become bored and depressed and Borderline Scrupulous although I don’t know if that is related. I guess the reason I tell this to you is to relate and Incedent that occured one time where I was texting one of my friends and He didn’t respond back for a while and I assumed he was mad at me so I started praying and I asked the saints for intercession and I was getting depressed and had a suicidal though but I shook it off immediatley as I would NEVER do that but the reason I say this is i kind of said to myself I think the saints are laughing at me not really thinking about what I was saying ( I said this out loud to myself by the way) getting to the point I guess my question would be was that a sin. I applogized to God for it but I didn’t confess it. I know for mortal sin If you reject the temptation its not a sin so I don’t think the "suicidal though"was a sin becuase I didn’t want to think it it just poped in and i was depressed and worried but I would never comtemplate it … Anyway I am just concerned I sinned because I didn’t mention it in my last confession but I received Communion. Was I wrong to do so.
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It’s important to remember that we all suffer in many ways. I’d talk to a Priest about it. 👍 God understands our pains and struggles. May he bless you always!
 
ClearWater said:
I’m more concerned right now about other things than that being a sin right now.

Are you in treatment right now? I hope you are, since suicidal ideations, even though one wouldn’t act on them, are not to be ignored.

The other question I had was if you are getting by, economically. If not, I may be able to recommend some resources to you if you’d like.
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👍
 
Don’t be scrupulous. God is not some code to be cracked. Nothing we do or say will save us. If you LOVE God, believe in Him, and try do do good, you are saved. He doesn’t want to see you suffer with scrupulosity. Remember Jesus always went after the Pharisees for their scrupulosity (it was hypocrisy but was also in my opinion scrupulous)- it means nothing to do something over and over. There is nothing you can do to make God love you more, forgive you, etc. He loves you no matter what. He loves you. He loves you.

Talk to him like you’re talking to us. Say the rosary (not because it is a repititous prayer, but because it will lead you to Mary and she will help you). And see a good psychiatrist that specializes in OCD/Scrupulosity. Preferably a Christian one.

You’re talking to an OCD lifer here…and for a while I was scrupulous. Jesus spent more time with sinners than saints. And He didn’t tell them they had to do x,y,z to be saved. He told them to believe in Him and love him. That is what it takes. We all fall short. Don’t let this ruin you.
catholic235 said:
HI All this is going to be a long post so I appologize in advance. I just graduated from college in August of 2013 and got a job in September working in a Jail. THat job turned out not to be for me and i Have been out of work for over 3 months. I realize that is not a long time but I have become bored and depressed and Borderline Scrupulous although I don’t know if that is related. I guess the reason I tell this to you is to relate and Incedent that occured one time where I was texting one of my friends and He didn’t respond back for a while and I assumed he was mad at me so I started praying and I asked the saints for intercession and I was getting depressed and had a suicidal though but I shook it off immediatley as I would NEVER do that but the reason I say this is i kind of said to myself I think the saints are laughing at me not really thinking about what I was saying ( I said this out loud to myself by the way) getting to the point I guess my question would be was that a sin. I applogized to God for it but I didn’t confess it. I know for mortal sin If you reject the temptation its not a sin so I don’t think the "suicidal though"was a sin becuase I didn’t want to think it it just poped in and i was depressed and worried but I would never comtemplate it … Anyway I am just concerned I sinned because I didn’t mention it in my last confession but I received Communion. Was I wrong to do so.
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Norm640 said:
Don’t be scrupulous. God is not some code to be cracked. Nothing we do or say will save us. If you LOVE God, believe in Him, and try do do good, you are saved. He doesn’t want to see you suffer with scrupulosity. Remember Jesus always went after the Pharisees for their scrupulosity (it was hypocrisy but was also in my opinion scrupulous)- it means nothing to do something over and over. There is nothing you can do to make God love you more, forgive you, etc. He loves you no matter what. He loves you. He loves you.

Talk to him like you’re talking to us. Say the rosary (not because it is a repititous prayer, but because it will lead you to Mary and she will help you). And see a good psychiatrist that specializes in OCD/Scrupulosity. Preferably a Christian one.

You’re talking to an OCD lifer here…and for a while I was scrupulous. Jesus spent more time with sinners than saints. And He didn’t tell them they had to do x,y,z to be saved. He told them to believe in Him and love him. That is what it takes. We all fall short. Don’t let this ruin you.
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Well said Norm. 👍
 
No i’m not in treatment. As I don’t think It was an idealation as just something that popped in and was rejected … I have only been feeling scrupulous this week becuase I forgot a couple sins that could of been detraction last week and was worried about all the other instances i Forgot. I have been praying and I know God loves me and I know he will forgive me. I was worried for a while that I wasn’t really repentant becuase I kept falling back into the same sin and wasn’t really trying as hard as I could have been to avoid the sin. But I am not sure of my state of mind at the time of those confessions as to whether I was repentant or not so I am going to think I was. I mean its not like I went to confession and said Thanks for forgiveness and went home and sinned again. It was more or so the next day that i fell into the sin except for one time it was only 2 hours later but that was a week before I became a catholic. but after my first confession. Anyway Thanks for the help.May God Bless you all abundantly 🙂
 
Depression is very serious. If you were to tell your physician that you had a random thought about suicide, they would probably do a psych work up. I know mine did. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is an illness that can be treated and treatment will make you feel better. PLEASE speak to your doctor about this.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
Depression is very serious. If you were to tell your physician that you had a random thought about suicide, they would probably do a psych work up. I know mine did. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is an illness that can be treated and treatment will make you feel better. PLEASE speak to your doctor about this.
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Thanks for the advice, I don’t want to be on antidepressants though. I took them years back for anxiety and didn’t like the way I felt. I don’t think I am depressed it was more a combination of being bored and lonely at that time. I am happy the Majority of the time. Thank you for replying though. God Bless you
 
Ok. What about economically? Are you getting by okay? As I say, I know a few resources for people, temporary help.

Hope you don’t mind. I’ll include some below. If you don’t need them, just ignore. Probably someone else on the forum would be able to benefit from them, if not.

If you’re in the US, one is called TANF. acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/programs/tanf

There are also food banks.

feedingamerica.org/foodbank-results.aspx

Utilities also usually have their own programs to assist.

St. Vincent de Paul also can often help out of work folks get back on their feet.

There are employment agencies, and I know Goodwill Easter Seals will often help people find work.
 
Thank you for all the replies Clearwater Thanks for the links I hope they help someone. I am only 22 and still living at home I applied for a job as a 911 dispatcher this has been my dream job since I was about 13 years old. I Passed my tests So I am just waiting on the next steps which i Believe is an interview and a polygraph. Please keep me in Prayer. 🙂
 
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