Depressive Presence

[Thorns]

I experience intrusive, negative, depressive thoughts when its time to go to sleep at night. I have a lot of worrisome “what ifs” and horrifically tragic scenarios that play out in my head either about me or my loved ones and this keeps me awake all night and I will have a very hard time clearing my head and going to sleep. If it persists I will experience insomnia for several days, months, even years.

The problem only occurs at night and more intensely in my own room. I can be in the room during the day, doing other activities in there at night, and I will not experience this, its only when I go to sleep. As a result, I havent slept in that room for two years, although some nights as I lay in bed in another room I can feel these irrational, negative thoughts wanting to come but I havent had too hard of a time fighting them off there. I have seen psychiatrists and they do not believe I am depressed either and I have never been diagnosed with depression.

Ever since I was a very young child all the way through young adulthood, I would lay in bed at night with lustful thoughts and these would help put me to sleep. Since Ive tried to resist lust, I experience the depressive thoughts that keep me awake instead now.

Any thoughts?

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I experience intrusive, negative, depressive thoughts when its time to go to sleep at night. I have a lot of worrisome “what ifs” and horrifically tragic scenarios that play out in my head either about me or my loved ones and this keeps me awake all night and I will have a very hard time clearing my head and going to sleep. If it persists I will experience insomnia for several days, months, even years.

Go to your doctor and tell him that you are experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety. It occurs more often at night because you are more idle.

 

[Thorns]

Go to your doctor and tell him that you are experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety. It occurs more often at night because you are more idle.

Have already done so and seen a few psychiatrists. They all conclude I am not depressed.

The intrusive thoughts only really come when Im in that particular room. I can be idle and sleep elsewhere and I’ll be fine and can sleep.

 

[FaustinaJulia]

I used to have my mind race with worry when I was trying to fall asleep. Even the times that my thoughts weren’t worrisome or morbid, they were simply too compelling to resist and I, too, suffered insomnia on a regular basis. I don’t see you as experiencing depression completely either although I am in no way a professional in that issue. What I see is that your bedroom has some symbolic meaning to you that brings up anxiety provoking thoughts. Since I don’t know you or your bedroom or life in general save for the disturbing thought patterns which keep you from sleeping in there, my suggestions have to be non-medical.

My number one suggestion is to make sure your house has been blessed, even if it’s been done previously.
In conjunction with that, right the day of the house blessing, and just prior to it, go to confession.
Be sure to have at least a crucifix in your bedroom, preferably a crucifix in each and every room.
Right before bed, use Holy Water to bless yourself and say the Rosary. I highly recommend a scriptural meditation. Concentrate on Jesus’ Life and if some of these worrisome thoughts occur, give those concerns over to Him. Focus on what He and His Mother went through, how both, but especially Jesus, sacrificed so we wouldn’t fall to eternal damnation. Like with many other things, we have to remember Christ has already won over the devil and his minions and over the temporal manifestations of them. Keep your eyes on Our Lord on the Cross in his Passion and remember nothing we ever could experience will match the sacrifice He made for us and if He’d do that for us, we have nothing ever to really fear in this world. Not for others or ourselves.

 

[Thorns]

. Focus on what He and His Mother went through, how both, but especially Jesus, sacrificed so we wouldn’t fall to eternal damnation.

This is a main thought that wants to trouble me before bed at times in the other room these days. I think of Hell, how horrible it would be, the deep sorrow God must feel for those who have fallen into that state. I would hate to know that any one of my family or friends would be there, then I think of how much that hurts me and how much more it hurts God. Then images of my family’s, friend’s, and even my soul, come to mind and I see a soul (or mine) face to face, tattered and beaten just staring at me in a half-dead gaze. Very ghoulish and zombie-like. I feel guilty for not praying more for people and in general. Maybe this particular intrusive thought is a good one.