Desire for kids

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Does your desire for kids mean God’s asking you to have more kids? Financially we’re swamped. We have good jobs but with so much debt we live paycheck to paycheck. We have 3 kids already. Logistically it would hard for another one: bedroom …I know I have plenty of kids already according to the world but I’m trying to figure out what God wants us to do. I’m approaching 40 soon. Is desire to have more kids going away after a while? Is it some sort of irrational desire like a kid wanting a unicorn?
 
LoseControl said:
I know I have plenty of kids already according to the world but I’m trying to figure out what God wants us to do.
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Maybe God wants you to take a look at your current situation and decide for yourselves what would be best for your family…
 
I have a blackbird in my garden which has clutches of chicks repeatedly every summer, she’s fulfilling her duty as a creature of God but she’s on auto pilot so to speak. We of course have a choice in the matter.

perhaps now those spacial and financial limitations are fair reasons to rethink the future. I’m sure you’ll be led to resolve your quandary in the way that will be pleasing to God.
 
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Desire for kids is simply the way God designed us. We marry and there are primary ends to marriage, one of which is having kids.
 
Thanks. It would be easier to be done with kids now. Is we meant to have an easy life? I’d feel guilty and selfish.
 
Not necessarily, but each couple’s answer to this will be different depending on their circumstances.

We live paycheck to paycheck too and I’m currently pregnant. However, we have very little debt and quite a bit saved for a down payment on a home- which could be used if we had an emergency.

Some people like to say that adding another child isn’t much more expensive than the others because you can use hand me downs, etc. However, if your child has any kind of special needs it can get really expensive really quickly (I know this from personal experience).

I think it depends on what your debt is too- a mortgage is a pretty normal debt and means you have a secure place to live. If it’s credit card debt or student loans, that’s more difficult. If you have good jobs, then you probably have decent healthcare too, so that’s a plus.

It can be generous for people to add on to their families, but also we have the responsibility to be prudent and make sure we can provide for those families. A desire for more kids does not necessarily mean that God is saying “have more kids”. Being “swamped” means different things for different families, and there is really no one right answer to your question.
 
That says a lot. We’re have zero rainy day fund. My husband has talked about moving. We would have to move and change the way we live.
 
I want more kids more than anything, but it’s been over a year now with no luck. So not necessarily. Remember that the heart can be a deceiver.
 
If you still have youngsters growing then you won’t have an easy life for quite a while yet perhaps 🙂

Perhaps a chat with your priest might help with your decision?
 
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i had one and was done, so I can’t relate to wanting more. However, my friends tell me it is common to want another one when your clock is ticking as you hit 40. I would suggest making a pros and cons list and go from there. One thing to consider though, you don’t want to put your present children at a disadvange by having more. I’m not just talking money here, although that should be factored in. They can get way more expensive as they get older !!!

Good luck with all of this. I am exhausted just thinking about having 3! 🙂
 
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My priests or my husband don’t help. It seems the decision rests on me. They say things like: So you will need to move if you have more kids, so you need to change the way you live, so be it. So you’ll have another kid, you’ll have another kid. For us the day care is what killing us. It won’t do anyone good if I stay home. Since I can’t make decisions on anything, I leave it to a few factors like my husband getting a promotion and we have maternity leave at work.
 
It’s a decision only you can make really. When our family was big enough we stopped. There is a limit I think to how many children we can cope with and God knows this limit in every case of course. I think the issue should be about space and finances and also the amount of time you can given to each child you already have. Those are all important factors.

I can only pray that you resolve this, remember your prayers are heard.
God bless and peace be with you.
 
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Maybe this is a time to evaluate your spending and savings, especially for an emergency fund and retirement. Financial planning is important, especially with kids. It also helps you evaluate priorities. You can’t borrow for retirement.
 
No desire kids is not like a kid wanting a unicorn. it is God’s and life’s oriented.

After, God will not answered every desires, and some will stay barren.

It is not to us to determine if it will be great to have others children or not. It is up to you, in prayer with God.
I will just say we are supposed to accept generously children. So if we can, why deliberately refused them?

Moving can be a scary thing, but when we have no choice, we do it. With children we almost always find a solution.
 
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