Desire for more children

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yjenkins

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My husband I set on not having anymore children however I am not. I woul like at least one more. I feel lost and I am not sure how to deal with this. I would greatly appreciate any advice.
 
Without knowing more about your situation, it is hard to give you advice. Has your husband given any reasons for not wanting more children? The answers to the following questions are none of my business; however, they are all things you and your husband need to take into consideration: How many children do you have now? How old are you both? What is your financial situation? How solid is your marriage? How are you both physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally? Do any of your existing children have special needs? There are sometimes good reasons to avoid having more children (with God having the final say, of course) and sometimes the reasons are purely selfish. Only you and your husband can decide, with prayer and discernment how to work this out.
 
More information is needed. Such as how does he propose to not have any more children. ABC? NFP? Are you both Catholic?
 
Take this petition to God and ask God, if it be His will, to change your husband’s view on the matter. It’s that simple.
 
Having recently been in the very same situation, I can share what worked for me. I asked my husband why he didn’t want more kids and them really listened to what he was telling me. Turned out it wasn’t so much that he didn’t want more kids, it was that he wanted more of my time and didn’t think he’d ever get it with more kids running around. That helped me see that I’d been neglecting him and once I corrected that he got comfortable with the idea of more kids more quickly than I would ever have thought he would.

I’m not saying that’s our husband’s issue of course, but the same conversation may help (and a lot of prayer can only help).

Good luck!
 
We have discussed his reasons why he does not want to have more children. One of them being because he has a lot of student loan debt which will take us many years to pay off. His reasons are valid and realistic. We practice NFP.
 
We currently have 3 kids and I absolutely did not want any more…until a few weeks ago. My wife has wanted another for a while, but I was not interested at all. Then, one night, something inside me just felt different…I don’t know what it was, but I was at peace with giving God the opportunity to bless us with another baby. I somehow just felt that all of my concerns for not having more would work out fine if we were meant to have another.

So, my wife took a test a couple days ago…and well,…we are officially pregnant.:D:D And I couldn’t be more excited.

Moral of the story–you probably aren’t going to change his mind, so don’t try. He has to change his own mind. You can pray for that to happen and try to help eliminate the reasons why he doesn’t want another.
 
I would recommend you take a good look at your budget and see if there are any ways you can cut down on expenses (or make more money) in order to pay down the loans more quickly. Write out a budget and see if the money is there to pay all your bills and obligations if you were to add another child to your family. You may want to pray for your husband to change his mind, but also keep in mind it MAY be God’s will that you should not try for any more children for awhile, or possibly ever. It’s something I wish I had done myself in this area: sought God’s will, not my own.
 
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