Desolation after reluctantly doing God's will

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Bdonoho

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I feel like the Israelites after they tested God in the desert. God wanted me to work on this picture of Mary and I kept resisting Him. When I worked on it for a few hours, I kept wondering when I could quit and work on my other stuff. Now I feel a sense of desolation and I feel like I have sinned. I wanted to ask for prayer because I have been messed with before by spirits and I really struggle with discernment because of scrupulosity.

The whole time I was working on this I was tempted with thoughts of anger and wrath, and while I did give into some of those thoughts, it isn’t until now that I have a sense of desolation, even though I can’t think of any mortal sin I committed. I wanted to ask for your prayer, that I won’t give up on what God wants me to do, and that I won’t sin by getting angry at Him and putting Him to the Test like the Israelites did. I really do sense that I’m supposed to work on this picture, and even though it can be very painful at times, I know it’s what He wants me to do. I also need to the grace to balance this with the other duties that I have.

Thank you all who have been praying for me, and I wish you the best.
Sincerely,
Brent
 
Dear Brent I would also recommend to talk to a priest/spiritual advisor about this in order to find out how much God wants you to do… I really don’t know you so I can’t say, but if you have in any way a tendency towards scrupulosity (like me) then be careful about things oyu feel you MUST do… Of course I don’t know, maybe it is really a calling, but such things are good to talk over with a priest…

saying a prayer for you now… That God will lead you and show you whichever way He wants you to do this 🙂
 
Bdonoho said:
I feel like the Israelites after they tested God in the desert. God wanted me to work on this picture of Mary and I kept resisting Him. When I worked on it for a few hours, I kept wondering when I could quit and work on my other stuff. Now I feel a sense of desolation and I feel like I have sinned. I wanted to ask for prayer because I have been messed with before by spirits and I really struggle with discernment because of scrupulosity.

The whole time I was working on this I was tempted with thoughts of anger and wrath, and while I did give into some of those thoughts, it isn’t until now that I have a sense of desolation, even though I can’t think of any mortal sin I committed. I wanted to ask for your prayer, that I won’t give up on what God wants me to do, and that I won’t sin by getting angry at Him and putting Him to the Test like the Israelites did. I really do sense that I’m supposed to work on this picture, and even though it can be very painful at times, I know it’s what He wants me to do. I also need to the grace to balance this with the other duties that I have.

Thank you all who have been praying for me, and I wish you the best.
Sincerely,
Brent
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Not all of us are cut out to do certain jobs. I used to think that in order to serve God, I had to be a consecrated person, but no. You can serve God anywhere. Also, you can work in what you want WITHOUT feeling guilty about it.

I tutor, but this does not mean if the subjects I am happy and feel comfortable teaching aren’t the Catechism of the Catholic Church. That’s okay. If you are not happy doing the picture of Mary, then you don’t feel like you have to out of obligation. Don’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to do, and it’s not a sin just because you don’t feel like making this picture.

You can serve God in many ways, just by doing your job well. Not all of us are called to be Mother Teresa.

Do your work. If you aren’t happy doing the picture, don’t do it. Well, you can do it, but it won’t be the same as your doing something you love and are comfortable with. Do what you love. There is NOTHING wrong with your job.

You don’t need to offer anybody any explanations.

For me, it’s okay if I don’t feel like teaching Catechism. I teach ESL to visually impaired people, instead. We don’t have to be something directly related to the Church in order to do God’s will. I believe God wants us to be happy.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Prayer to Our Lady of Mental Peace

O Lady of Mental Peace,
Mother of Tranquility
and Mother of Hope,
look upon Bdonoho in this time
of weakness and unrest.

Teach her searching heart
to know that God’s Love
for her is unchanging and
unchangeable, and, that
true human love can only
begin and grow by touching
His Love.

Let your gentle Peace -
which this world cannot give
  • be always with her.
    And, help her to bring this
    same Peace into the lives
    of others.
Our Lady of Mental Peace,
  • Pray for us!
    Amen.
Jesus, Help Me!

In every need let me come to You with humble trust,
saying:
Jesus, help me!
In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations:
Jesus, help me!
In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials:
Jesus, help me!
In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments,
troubles and sorrows:
Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and Your Grace alone can assist me:
Jesus, help me!
When I throw myself on Your tender Love as Savior:
Jesus, help me!
When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good
come from my efforts:
Jesus, help me!
When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me:
Jesus, help me!
When I am ill, and my head and hands cannot work and
I am lonely:
Jesus, help me!

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and short-
comings of every kind:
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me!

Amen

†
 
Praying for you

Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen
 
Gracious and merciful Father, please come to his assistance.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
Amen.
 
Hi Brent, I used to be like that when “doing God’s will”, but
I think that it is NOT just the picture He wants you to work
on, but the LOVE you can put into it! He wants our HEARTS,
not just what we can do for Him! I used to reluctantly fast,
visit nursing homes and give to the poor, all with a sense of
owed duty at having to do such things, but now that I know
the TRUTH, I can freely do these works of mercy w/ a song
in my heart!!!

O my Jesus, forgive us our sins,
save us from the fires of hell,
lead all souls to heaven, esp. those
who are in most need of Your mercy!
Amen,
 
Prayer For God’s Inspiration

Father, may everything we do
begin with your inspiration,
and continue with your saving help.
Let our work always find its origin in you,
and through you reach completion.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever. AMEN
 
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