Detraction/Gossip

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Hello- I just recently learned about the sin of detraction. I knew gossip was sinful but did not know about detraction and the fact it is grave matter.

In the past I spoke negatively about my ex wife to a good friend. Most if not all of what I said is truthful but is this considered the sin of detraction?
 
Depends on your purpose in speaking to your good friend. If you were just frustrated and needing to vent to a friend who would listen and let it roll off, and if you told the truth, then probably not a big sin. You may have committed a venial sin of anger or impatience with your ex-wife and perhaps you could be more charitable speaking of her next time.

But if your purpose was really to harm her reputation, or to spread untruths about her, then that would be a serious sin.
 
Sbee0 said:
Hello- I just recently learned about the sin of detraction. I knew gossip was sinful but did not know about detraction and the fact it is grave matter.

In the past I spoke negatively about my ex wife to a good friend. Most if not all of what I said is truthful but is this considered the sin of detraction?
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CCC 2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:
  • of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;
  • of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;
  • of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
 
“Objectively valid reason” could include a need to discuss one’s personal family business with a good, understanding friend, whether the friend knew or didn’t know the ex-wife.

In breakup situations, sometimes we need a safe space to express our emotions and not keep everything bottled up inside.
 
Thank you thistle and Tis. I knew detraction/gossip was probably sinful but was not aware it could also be grave matter in certain circumstances. I did it without trying to hurt her reputation just as a friend to friend conversation and partially out of spite I guess. I’ve also exaggerated things too in those conversations.

I definitely plan to confess it next time.
 
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