Devastating news

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Lillith

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I just found out that a friend of mine, who was looking forward for the past six months to adopt a baby, has lost that baby. The birth mom changed her mind.

I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach. They have paid for the young ladies clothes and doctor visits, lawyers fees, and in anticipation, they have a room ready, with clothes and diapers and everything imaginable. They had a name picked out. I just got the invitation for a baby shower in the mail this week.

My friend is 45…has tried for years to have children, and her female problems finally forced a hysterectomy on her. I know she is destroyed right now, and I can feel her pain so sharply!

Please pray for Chloe and Joey. Pray for the baby and mom too…but especially Chloe! She is an awesomely sweet hearted woman…and I know this has broken her heart!
 
Lillith:

I’m so very sorry. Your friends are in our prayers.
 
I am so sorry to hear about their loss. How absolutely heart-wrenching.
 
There is always the possibility that the girl would change her mind again. Nothing has changed in her situation. She still has no job, husband, or home. Maybe it was an emotional decision (understandable!) that she will think through.

To illustrate how awesome Chloe is…she offered the girl and her baby room and board until they get on their feet. The girl turned it down…and Chloe left in tears and has been crying ever since.
 
As and adoptive mom of two, my heart surely goes out to all of them! We also had some possible adoptions fall through. The thing with adoption is that you never know until that adoption is finalized in court, so you really have to be cautious, no matter how “sure” it all seems. My husband and I would have “cautious optimism” each time there was a possiblility.

That being said, there are many things to be thankful for:

#1 – the mother chose life for her baby and did not abort (Praise God!)
#2 – your friends have helped out a young lady in need, performing acts of mercy, for which they will be eternally rewarded
#3 – God is, and always will be, in control! While we don’t understand why this is happening, we know that God has a greater purpose for which we may never know until we are in heaven.

When we had one of our adoptions fall through, it was very difficult, but about three months later we adopted our son (who couldn’t be more like us if he did come from our genes!). I often think, had the other adoption come through, we wouldn’t have our boy. It’s, of course, so much easier to look back and see God’s hand after the fact than it is to believe and trust at the time, but that’s why it’s called faith!

Please tell your friends they are in my prayers!
 
I just found out that a friend of mine, who was looking forward for the past six months to adopt a baby, has lost that baby. The birth mom changed her mind.

I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach. They have paid for the young ladies clothes and doctor visits, lawyers fees, and in anticipation, they have a room ready, with clothes and diapers and everything imaginable. They had a name picked out. I just got the invitation for a baby shower in the mail this week.

My friend is 45…has tried for years to have children, and her female problems finally forced a hysterectomy on her. I know she is destroyed right now, and I can feel her pain so sharply!

Please pray for Chloe and Joey. Pray for the baby and mom too…but especially Chloe! She is an awesomely sweet hearted woman…and I know this has broken her heart!
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Our heart felt prayers going out to them all. We had the same thing happen 23 years ago. The baby was born and the nurse in the hospital brought the baby to the mother and forced her to take her. Well we had a hard time getting over it. Don’t know what happened to Rachel (see we named her) or her mother.
Let your friends grieve and don’t tell them to get over it. You don’t. Just as if the baby died this couple is greiving and need to feel at peace with it.
On the other hand my brother and his wife did not take the chance of this happening to them. They adopted from Korea and have two wonderful children.
Time will make it easier but never take the hurt away. Hugs to your friends.
 
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KathleenElsie:
Our heart felt prayers going out to them all. We had the same thing happen 23 years ago. The baby was born and the nurse in the hospital brought the baby to the mother and forced her to take her. Well we had a hard time getting over it. Don’t know what happened to Rachel (see we named her) or her mother.
Let your friends grieve and don’t tell them to get over it. You don’t. Just as if the baby died this couple is greiving and need to feel at peace with it.
On the other hand my brother and his wife did not take the chance of this happening to them. They adopted from Korea and have two wonderful children.
Time will make it easier but never take the hurt away. Hugs to your friends.
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KathleenElsie, thank you so much for this post. It brought tears to my eyes. My husband and I had several adoptions fall through. We had a little baby boy, whom we named Luke, for 4 days and things fell through quite tragically. I think of that boy every single day–usually when I wake in the morning. That was 6 years ago.

Lillith, my prayers will be with your friend Chloe. My heart breaks for her. Just be a good friend, as she will need one. Most people don’t understand this type of loss or the associated pain. The fact that you do, makes you a good friend indeed.
 
As sad as adoptions that fall through are on the prospective adoptive parents, the children have not died. It is a loss of expectation, not a loss of life. Pray that the children will have loving homes with their birth mothers.
 
It is true that the child has not died, but the hope for this couple that they will be parents has, at least at the moment, died. This is a real and true grief and must be allowed to be expressed.
 
My prayers go out to your friend. May the Lord give her the grace to get through this tough time.
 
My heart aches for your friend. I will keep her in my prayers. And also the baby and the birth mom…

CM
 
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