Did I commit a sin during Mass?

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Arbovirus

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Couple years ago, I went to Mass and was randomly picked to carry the unconsecrated host to the altar. I knew I was in state of mortal sin so obviously had no intention of partaking in Communion, but I wasn’t sure if that prevents someone from carrying the unconsecrated host and wine to the priest at the altar during Mass.

Have I committed a mortal sin? I had never read or heard about being required to be in state of grace for such a role, so I haven’t confessed it yet, but it seems reasonable that one should be in a state of grace… Should I confess this sin next time at confession?
 
No, you did nothing wrong; all the gift bearers represent are the community’s offering. It might not be ideal, but we’ve had non-Catholics and anyone/everyone do this - hence why you could be randomly selected 2 minutes before Mass begins.
 
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On a similar note, I have no devout feelings anymore. I just want to stop caring because I do spiritual readings, try to pray, give to the poor, but God is still nowhere to be found. The more I read spiritual things, the more I see myself as being a failed Catholic — they say we must trust in God completely. Which I’m trying to do. But God’s help is nowhere to be found and I’m just floundering in everything I attempt.

I don’t feel love for God. Not even sure where He is – cannot feel anything – except punishment and anger.

I should go to confession, but going in this state seems like a facade.

Emotions are so pointless. They are obstacles to everything. Even if I do confess, lack of trust and depression will return – and due to these things, God will not help me — it’s an endless, pointless cycle.
 
Based on this and some of your other posts, you sound clinically depressed. Have you tried seeing a mental health provider?
 
I tried looking for a Catholic one. The closest seems to be 26 miles away
 
St. Mother Teresa was a holy nun. I’m just trying to get by in this miserable life. I know it’s probably a sin to think this but I’m just tired of trying and God always being disappointed and punishing me.
 
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You don’t need a specifically Catholic psychologist any more than you need a Catholic dentist. You may have a medical problem that you’re seeing through a spiritual lens
 
Not only can you be a Gift Bearer in a state of Mortal Sin, but you can Altars Serve, be a Lector, sing in the Choir, and even distribute Communion provided you don’t receive Communion yourself. Did you know a priest can even offer Mass validly in a state of Mortal Sin in the event he has no time to go to confession before Mass? It’s true. So, don’t worry.
 
One does not have to be in a state of grace, a Catholic or even a Christian to be a gifts bearer.
 
Faith is not based on feelings.

Scripture says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding”.

The Christian life is mirrored in our intimate relationships, that with a spouse but also in a parent/child or a close friendship. There are times when you feel super close and have an overabundance of good feelings, there are also times in any relationship when you are distant, even times when you dislike the person.

I promise you that the mom who is sleep deprived and frazzled is not overcome with good feels when the toddler has diarrhea all over the bed in the middle of the night, but, out of the sort of “die to oneself” sense of duty and love that is more than feelings, she cleans the child and comforts him.

God is right where He has always been.
 
Brittany said:
Emotions are not a basis for truth, and it is rather dangerous to make decisions based on our emotions rather than our intellect.
Click to expand...
I think this is very much a modern ‘disease’. Things seem to be judged by how they make us feel. This has also, I think, crept into our Church. It is as if you need to personally feel God’s grace for it to be there; it is a very individualistic view of faith.

Of course there are those times when we can feel God’s grace, but there are many times when we do not feel this, and perhaps some people who rarely if ever feel this, but God’s grace is there nevertheless.
 
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How can I go to confession or Mass when I just don’t have any pious feelings and sentiments? God will know it’s just a charade.

I tried to trust God and not have worries and anxieties, but they are always there. Everyone else succeeds – I am left in hopeless failure. Whatever I attempt fails.

If this isn’t sign of punishment, then why is this happening? God said He takes care of us — really…?

Once, or twice, or even three times — I can offer to God my disappointment.

Now I just don’t even see the point of hoping for anything. He either doesn’t care or it’s just never-ending punishment.

Emotions don’t come out of nowhere. They are results of having experienced disappointment and shame.
 
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Will you show me where we are required to have “pious feelings and sentiments”?

It is easy to trust God when life is peachy fuzzy happy butterflies and sunbeams. Real trust is when we are in the dark, alone, afraid, beaten by the winds.

Read the Psalms. Maybe try Night Prayer each night.

Read Fr Phillipe’s “Searching For and Maintaining Peace”

Read Houselander’s “The Reed of God”
 
You’re answering your own questions in a way… we’re all “failed Catholics” from time to time — else we wouldn’t need confession. You said emotions are pointless; well, I don’t know about pointless, but they aren’t the make or break of our relationship with God. Go to confession and go to Mass, even if you think it’s a charade - God knows you’re making the effort because something, somewhere inside you still has that desire, even if you can’t p(name removed by moderator)oint it. That’s the urging of the Holy Spirit.

I agree with others that a professional psychologist could help. And like everything else in life, if at first you don’t succeed by finding one that’s a good match, try, try again. I’ve been to an AWFUL therapist. I’ve been to a wonderful one. And I’ve had mediocre priest-spiritual directors and great ones. Sometimes, you have to shop around a bit.

Mother Theresa may have experienced more in common with you than you know, and while we’re all called to be saints, we’re not meant to be 100% there today. Even she wasn’t canonized until after death. God isn’t disappointed in you; that’s you (and Satan) being hard on you. If God were truly that easily disappointed in us, there are plenty of others worse off than you… in fact, who would stand a chance?

You’re experiencing life’s valleys. They do happen. God doesn’t leave us alone, even if we feel that way. Sometimes we just have to get beyond our own heads to see him.

You’ll be in my prayers.

http://prayerfoundation.org/footprints_in_the_sand.htm
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
For Gods sakes, man, see a shrink. It’s entirely possible that the reason you feel this way is you have some psychiatric/psychological issue that has nothing to do with religion. Stop wallowing and complaining and attend to your mental health
 
Here is a poem that has helped me many times.*

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”
  • Margaret Fishback Powers
*There are 3 versions of this poem with 3 different authors. This is my favorite.
 
Dear Arbovirus,

I have come to the Catholic faith after a very long and spiritually painful journey which I actually happen to appreciate today, because I learned a lot along the way. You have to remember not to judge your faith by your feelings. I know it’s a difficult thing to do, after all how else are you supposed to be in a relationship with God, or how else are you going to interact with Him? But depending solely upon your feelings could also do more harm than good in your spiritual life. When I was going through the same kind of roller coaster of emotions, a Catholic friend of mine told me to start reading on the Church Fathers and on some Saints which was extremely helpful for a great number of reasons, in fact that is exactly what brought me Home. Did you know that there were many Saints who went through the spiritual wilderness and the agonizing feeling of void? However, they all endured one way or the other, because they “knew”. In other words, they chose to believe because of what they had already known, not because of what they felt like necessarily. Most of them got back on their feet again, fought the good fight and got to a higher and even more rewarding relationship with Christ, yet some still did not as far as we know. But see, that is the true faith right there; believing and hoping for something that you don’t see, the intangible. So, please keep on doing what you need to do, that is to say, go to Confession, try to do your daily praying (talk to God from your heart), and make sure to strive for the state of grace in order to partake in the Eucharist. In short, you do your part and leave the rest to Him, for everything comes through His Grace, including our faith. One last point: Why do you think you’re typing up here, if it’s not for the same Grace? You might as well have been lost and already entertaining worldly desires, but you are not. I thank the Lord for you are still thirsty for Him, and you being on this site worrying for your faith and your own relationship with God is the best proof of it.
 
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