Did I Do The Right Thing?

[ATeutonicKnight]

I’ve done karate for ten years or so, and now during karate class at the gym the rec center is letting the wrestling team practice in the same room at the same time. It’s a large room, but the wrestling coach screams really loudly and we cannot hear, and therefore we cannot teach. One of the black belt’s got very angry and she wanted us all to kiai as loud as we could when we would strike so we could give them a taste of their own medicine. I kiai loudly in the first place, but I obeyed and did it extra loudly. It wasn’t long before I got caught up in the moment and I got very angry at the coach as well. So much in fact that I was thinking about walking over there and telling him to quiet down. When I realized that I got this angry, I calmed myself down, as I just got out of Mortal sin and I’d like it to stay that way. Is it still a sin since I got angry, or does the fact that I didn’t realize it save me from the sin?

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Getting angry isn’t a sin, how you deal with it is. If you continue to kiai loudly, that’s not good. I’d say just go over and talk to him. Chances are he doesn’t realize how loud his group is.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Getting angry isn’t a sin, how you deal with it is. If you continue to kiai loudly, that’s not good. I’d say just go over and talk to him. Chances are he doesn’t realize how loud his group is.

Well, I always kiai loudly, but after I realized that I was angry I didn’t kiai loudly because he was being loud. It was out of obedience to my black belts. If they noticed me tone down, trust me, I’d be doing push-ups. I just changed the intention of the kiais.

Actually, one of the black belt’s talked to him after, asking that he have more respect for the class and tone it down a bit, and he told her that she was being disrespectful because she was telling him how to run his class. She told him that she wasn’t telling him how to run his class, but to have respect and to tone it down. He replied that that’s how he coaches, and from the sounds of it he has no intentions of toning it down at all. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got even louder. It’s unfortunate since he is my neighbor and he’s probably going to hate me now, but I didn’t do anything so it’s going to be ridiculous. He’ll most likely get us in trouble and the rec center probably won’t let us have a class there anymore. The other black belt didn’t want her to say anything, but she’s very strong about these matters and she won’t tolerate any disrespect towards the class. This isn’t the first time and all throughout wrestling season last year the other black belt stopped her from killing him time and time again. They’re married so it’s fun to watch her get angry and to see him try and be the voice of reason, but knowing that it’s in vain.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Well, I always kiai loudly, but after I realized that I was angry I didn’t kiai loudly because he was being loud. It was out of obedience to my black belts. If they noticed me tone down, trust me, I’d be doing push-ups. I just changed the intention of the kiais.

Actually, one of the black belt’s talked to him after, asking that he have more respect for the class and tone it down a bit, and he told her that she was being disrespectful because she was telling him how to run his class. She told him that she wasn’t telling him how to run his class, but to have respect and to tone it down. He replied that that’s how he coaches, and from the sounds of it he has no intentions of toning it down at all. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got even louder. It’s unfortunate since he is my neighbor and he’s probably going to hate me now, but I didn’t do anything so it’s going to be ridiculous. He’ll most likely get us in trouble and the rec center probably won’t let us have a class there anymore. The other black belt didn’t want her to say anything, but she’s very strong about these matters and she won’t tolerate any disrespect towards the class. This isn’t the first time and all throughout wrestling season last year the other black belt stopped her from killing him time and time again. They’re married so it’s fun to watch her get angry and to see him try and be the voice of reason, but knowing that it’s in vain.

That’s really unfortunate that he’s being difficult. Since you’re his neighbor, do you know him outside this environment at all? Do you ever hang out? If so, then maybe invite him over for dinner and talk about the classes or work on developing a good relationship with him. If nothing else works, then maybe YOU could go to the rec center and let them know of this. He has to respect your space by realizing that by sharing a room with someone, things have to change.

I teach, and if I had to share a classroom, you can bet I’d change by teaching style to suit anyone else using the space. It’s just common courtesy.

By the way, I love that you’re into martial arts! I’ve always thought it was cool, but I never had the patience to keep up with it myself. I got into basketball instead.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

That’s really unfortunate that he’s being difficult. Since you’re his neighbor, do you know him outside this environment at all? Do you ever hang out? If so, then maybe invite him over for dinner and talk about the classes or work on developing a good relationship with him. If nothing else works, then maybe YOU could go to the rec center and let them know of this. He has to respect your space by realizing that by sharing a room with someone, things have to change.

I teach, and if I had to share a classroom, you can bet I’d change by teaching style to suit anyone else using the space. It’s just common courtesy.

By the way, I love that you’re into martial arts! I’ve always thought it was cool, but I never had the patience to keep up with it myself. I got into basketball instead.

We’re not great friends or anything. I smile and wave at him when I see him, but the most interaction with him I usually have is saying hello occasionally.

The rec center knows, but they are taking his side on it, unfortunately. The woman in charge said that he is a volunteer and we shouldn’t criticize him, and that if we have any problems to talk to her instead. Our black belt said that she understood that, but if our tenth degree grandmaster was there he would take about two minutes of it and after that it would be all screaming and fighting. She said that would never happen in her gym, but she has no clue what she’s talking about. Our tenth degree grandmaster is a Vietnam vet, and he has quite the temper. He may be a short guy, but he’ll take anyone on with no problem, and trust me, he’ll win.

This is what we feel, but he teaches the way he teaches and he doesn’t want to change it. He’s toned down since last year, but he’s still very loud and we can’t think. His excuse is that he’s training his students for the state championship. Most of them are four to nine years old and have little attention span. He can scream all he wants but they’re not going to pay attention. As a teacher you can most likely vouch for this, even if you don’t work with littler children.

Yeah, I’ve done it for about ten years, and I’ve always enjoyed it. It’s cool that you play basketball though.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

We’re not great friends or anything. I smile and wave at him when I see him, but the most interaction with him I usually have is saying hello occasionally.

The rec center knows, but they are taking his side on it, unfortunately. The woman in charge said that he is a volunteer and we shouldn’t criticize him, and that if we have any problems to talk to her instead. Our black belt said that she understood that, but if our tenth degree grandmaster was there he would take about two minutes of it and after that it would be all screaming and fighting. She said that would never happen in her gym, but she has no clue what she’s talking about. Our tenth degree grandmaster is a Vietnam vet, and he has quite the temper. He may be a short guy, but he’ll take anyone on with no problem, and trust me, he’ll win.

This is what we feel, but he teaches the way he teaches and he doesn’t want to change it. He’s toned down since last year, but he’s still very loud and we can’t think. His excuse is that he’s training his students for the state championship. Most of them are four to nine years old and have little attention span. He can scream all he wants but they’re not going to pay attention. As a teacher you can most likely vouch for this, even if you don’t work with littler children.

Yeah, I’ve done it for about ten years, and I’ve always enjoyed it. It’s cool that you play basketball though.

Well, I USED to. I’ve been bad about keeping up with sports since I went back to school.

Yeah, what he’s doing isn’t reasonable at all. Maybe take him out to coffee or something and have a friendly chat? Or just do what the lady suggested and talk to her about it. Don’t interject emotion, just state the facts. You can’t practice your sport when they are being exceptionally loud and all you would like is for them to turn down the volume a notch or two.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Well, I USED to. I’ve been bad about keeping up with sports since I went back to school.

Yeah, what he’s doing isn’t reasonable at all. Maybe take him out to coffee or something and have a friendly chat? Or just do what the lady suggested and talk to her about it. Don’t interject emotion, just state the facts. You can’t practice your sport when they are being exceptionally loud and all you would like is for them to turn down the volume a notch or two.

I’d take him out for coffee, but I’m fifteen so that might be weird.

We’ve decided to simply talk to her about it. However, she doesn’t really care, from what I’ve seen. It gets frustrating when you see all of the disrespect the world has about things that deserve respect. We’ll just have to see how it all plays out next week, I suppose. If it works out the way I think it will, we may have to find ourselves another gym. The fact that he uses the same gym for his class is ridiculous though. The school has three gyms, and he shouldn’t have to have it in the same gym as ours, or vice-versa. However, we have had this class since before 2000, so it would be even more disrespect to tell us to leave when he’s only had his class for two years.

 

[underacloud]

Do I understand correctly that your class hires (pays for) this gym while he gets to use it for free?

If so, you guys should threaten (explaining politely why) to leave. If they want the income, they will find a solution. If they don’t, then unfortunately you guys will have to move. Hopefully you can find a facility where the management will treat you with more respect.

Having spoken to the coach and not been able to resolve it that way, I don’t see any other option. Just trying to shout over the top of each other isn’t going to be to anyone’s benefit in the end.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Do I understand correctly that your class hires (pays for) this gym while he gets to use it for free?

If so, you guys should threaten (explaining politely why) to leave. If they want the income, they will find a solution. If they don’t, then unfortunately you guys will have to move. Hopefully you can find a facility where the management will treat you with more respect.

Having spoken to the coach and not been able to resolve it that way, I don’t see any other option. Just trying to shout over the top of each other isn’t going to be to anyone’s benefit in the end.

I’m not sure if we do, quite honestly. I wouldn’t be surprised if we did, but I’m not sure. Either way, we’re paying for our classes, while all of his students are not. Therefore, he should respect the fact that we’re paying money for our lessons, and our teachers shouldn’t shout in order for us to hear. He may be a volunteer, but our black belt’s are getting paid by us, and therefore we should be getting equal respect by the rec center. If we can’t hear, they should take care of it, instead of getting mad at us for talking to him about it. It’s a fifty million dollar facility with three gyms. I’m sure they can do something about the situation.