Did you end up ignoring or refusing your religious vocation call?

[Tezza]

I have been sitting on the fence for many years now, afraid to move one way or the other. As I get older (I’m 36 now) I feel like I’m in a pressure cooker. Some communities have age limits, child-bearing years are limited. You get the picture.

As a woman, I always thought having your children would be the ultimate fulfillment. I thought any “longing” I had for religious life would be replaced by the love I had once I saw my children. It was during a Come and See weekend, however, that I heard the vocation director relay an email she received from a woman, mother of 3, who regretted not entering religious life and was writing her to seek advice on how to cope with these feelings. Many people say you have a choice, that God will bless your decision (and I believe he will always bless us), either way is good, but I’ve never felt convinced of this logic, even before I heard this story. It just didn’t feel true. Still, I hoped I was wrong.

The woman’s story really jolted me. I believe I was kidding myself, trying to run away from the vocation God had placed on my heart, thinking that the “perfect” man would rescue me from it and motherhood would seal the deal. Yet, with every relationship I’ve been in, the religious life is still there, beckoning. At this point, I couldn’t even imagine standing before the altar at my wedding and honestly answering “I do” when the priest asks, “do you come here without reservation…”

Needless to say, I recently ended a relationship and am seriously looking into communities (again). I believe I have finally made the commitment to surrender/unite my will to God’s. My prayer is that he’ll lead me quickly to the right community before I change my mind (again)

I still dwell on what I’m saying no to by saying yes to God. Please pray for me that I will have the grace to focus on the yes and the ultimate fulfillment it will bring.

In Christ,
Teri

 

[Sister_Helena]

I do not really belong to this group because I am a Carmelite Religious who heard and answered the call to the Consecrated life. But the discussions are interesting and I can’t help but join! There are definitely many, many reasons why people are attracted to religious life. The most obvious ones would be the religious habit (for many), the focused prayer life and a purposeful apostolate, the support of a religious community, and the desire to give oneself to God in an absolute way. Our heart was made to be filled and our desire will always be towards the good. And so when we don’t achieve this perceived good, we go through a bereavement and grieving, just like any other loss. There is also a compounding sense of guilt that they have refused God something. And just like any circumstance of loss, they must come to a closure to move on to what God really is asking of them. This is a common human response to death, of any kind.

We will never know how Divine Providence works. We always live in faith that for “those who love God, all things work for the good.”(Rm 8:28). And so, some seeming death to a religious vocation, may be providential. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe it was something necessary for one’s growth in the spiritual life. Every step leads to something or some place. If it’s any consolation, maybe the best way for you to find and serve God is in the state you are in now. There are rules and constitutions to be followed as Religious and one is not quite as free with how to spend one’s time, even spiritual quality time, the way one wants. I had more spiritual activities and events attended when I was a Secular which gave me great satisfaction than I have now as a Religious. My time is spent doing a particular type of ministry and permissions have to be sought for everything. Permissions are not always granted even if it is something spiritual. Even though it may look and sound restricting, I find my consolation in the belief that God’s will for me as a Religious is to follow my Rule and Constitutions. My will is now totally given to his Will as manifested in my Superiors.

We can find God right where we are. How lucky we are now in this time of our Church history when the laity’s unique role has been acknowledged. They have the freedom and the spiritual resources to truly be close to God and to serve Him in the many ministries in the Church today.

 

[rivera01]

I just have to respond to this. I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are not being punished for ignoring the call to the priesthood. God does not do that. He certainly knows that you would be happy with what He calls you to, but if in your own free will you decide it’s not right for you, He respects your decision and gives you happiness in any walk of life.

Yes, I do know this, but this is how my heart feels. I must not pay too much attention to it since it can led me astray. As for your suggestion, this is what I am doing and working really hard in praying and leading a chaste life.

 

[nunsense]

Yes, I do know this, but this is how my heart feels. I must not pay too much attention to it since it can led me astray. As for your suggestion, this is what I am doing and working really hard in praying and leading a chaste life.

Do you think God would give you free will and then punish you for using it? All things work to the good in God. Instead of beating yourself up over past choices, try to see how those choices have shaped you, and learn from what has happened. Your current suffering is an opportunity to draw closer to Jesus, to unite yourself with Him upon the Cross, and to see that love is the foundation of all that God gives us.

Rather than focusing only on what has happened, ask God to show you what He wants of you now, and ask Him for the grace to see Him in everything. Prayers, dear brother.