Difficult Family & Reunions - please help

[Micawber]

Oh and like you haven’t “listened” to me long enough…

I feel for you, really I do, about having to listen to your bil going on and on, “preaching” drivel. You don’t have to just sit there and take it though. You could either:
a) get up and leave the room when the conversation turns that way. If you ahve children, bring them with you so they aren’t subjected to it.
b) state that you don’t want to get into a big argument, neither one of you is going to convince the other, and request that we change the topic to something less controversial (and then change the topic yourself - have something in mind ahead of time)
c) Sit in the room quietly and think about something else, staying out of the conversation.

If it really is impossible to manage, then it’s understandable that you would want to limit visits with a person that is THAT obnoxious. But it makes sense to give them the benefit of the doubt first and see if the situation can’t be worked with.

Well, I know I need to grow in that direction; it’s a huge weakness for me.

I’ve been working very hard to be loving and not turn fanatical with aquaintances; for example, I had lunch a few weeks back with a fellow who is a member of this “Church” at Harvard (harvardhumanist.org/) - it is exactly what Flannery O’connor warned about: a Church without Christ. Anyway, he’s a self described “secular rationalist” who is writing a book on how morality emerges from rationalism and it’s embedded cognitively in the brain, etc. A few years back, I would have probably been tempted to stab him with a desert fork. But now I was able to calmly show him how untenable his position is - not that I convinced him then and there, but I made inroads. That’s a huge advance for me. It took prayer and practice to get there.

However, it drives me to near madness D) that I cannot do this with my family. It’s going to take some time. Things are particularly bad now tension-wise with Obama, Obamacare, AZ, etc. And so I’m thinking I should stay away for a little while until I’m able to be more myself in their midst.

Anyway, thanks so much for your thoughts.

This is harder and far more formidable than I thought it would be. Much harder. LOL.

 

[Micawber]

I like this too:

“Love men, slay error; without pride be bold in the truth, without cruelty fight for the truth.”
– Augustine of Hippo,