Difficulties in a marriage with Jewish Tradition

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My wife and I (we are both Catholic) are friends with a married couple who have 3 girls under the age of 8 years old. The husband/father is Jewish, although he’s more of a cultural Jew than an religious Jew. The wife converted (or diverted…however you want to look at it) to Judism from a Protestant Christian Tradition. After about 13 years of marriage, it seems to be falling apart. Apparently, he’s been verbally abusive and she retaliates by making expensive purchases. Our friendship is relatively new so we don’t really know how long this distructive pattern has been going on. They have individually been seeing Psychiatrists but it obviously doesn’t seem to be helping much. (Not a suprise since many Psychiatrists ignore the spiritual dimension of the human person and disregard the supernatural bond of marriage.) I believe he’s been recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, which may be part of the cause for his verbal abuse. I believe he’s on medication for this.

The bottom line is we would like to help them in some way. Certainly with prayer, sacrifice, and Mass offerings. Both have confided in us, mainly my wife. One thing we were going to suggest to them is to pray together for 9 days straight (kind of like a Jewish Novena) but am looking for prayer suggestions. I was going to suggest having them read from the “Psalms”, “Song of Songs”, or “Proverbs” but these are not books contained in the Torah. I’m specifically looking for something that will lead each one to recognize that they are called in marriage to a life of constant and unselfish service to each other and to the family unit. (We are blessed as Catholics to have Christ and His Church as our model for this.)

Any suggestions on Jewish or Old Testament prayers that may fit this situation or other suggestions on how we may help? Thank you in advance and God Bless.
 
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jbellini:
My wife and I (we are both Catholic) are friends with a married couple who have 3 girls under the age of 8 years old. The husband/father is Jewish, although he’s more of a cultural Jew than an religious Jew. The wife converted (or diverted…however you want to look at it) to Judism from a Protestant Christian Tradition. After about 13 years of marriage, it seems to be falling apart. Apparently, he’s been verbally abusive and she retaliates by making expensive purchases. Our friendship is relatively new so we don’t really know how long this distructive pattern has been going on. They have individually been seeing Psychiatrists but it obviously doesn’t seem to be helping much. (Not a suprise since many Psychiatrists ignore the spiritual dimension of the human person and disregard the supernatural bond of marriage.) I believe he’s been recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, which may be part of the cause for his verbal abuse. I believe he’s on medication for this.

The bottom line is we would like to help them in some way. Certainly with prayer, sacrifice, and Mass offerings. Both have confided in us, mainly my wife. One thing we were going to suggest to them is to pray together for 9 days straight (kind of like a Jewish Novena) but am looking for prayer suggestions. I was going to suggest having them read from the “Psalms”, “Song of Songs”, or “Proverbs” but these are not books contained in the Torah. I’m specifically looking for something that will lead each one to recognize that they are called in marriage to a life of constant and unselfish service to each other and to the family unit. (We are blessed as Catholics to have Christ and His Church as our model for this.)

Any suggestions on Jewish or Old Testament prayers that may fit this situation or other suggestions on how we may help? Thank you in advance and God Bless.
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Tobit 8:4-8: The wedding prayer of Tobias and Sarah:
When the door was shut and the two were alone, Tobias got up from the bed and said, “. . . let us pray that the Lord may have mercy upon us.” And Tobias began to pray, “Blessed art thou, O God of our fathers, and blessed be thy holy and glorious name for ever. Let the heavens and all thy creatures bless thee. Thou madest Adam and gavest him Eve his wife as a helper and support. From them the race of mankind has sprung.
Thou didst say, `It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.’ And now, O Lord, I am not taking this sister of mine because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that I may find mercy and may grow old together with her.” And she said with him, “Amen.”
 
Hopefully this marriage has not suffered from infidelity with others and only an infidelity to tender love. If they are fairly mature in their ability to see a big picture, then the Book of Hosea may have passages that will call upon their hearts. If not you may want to read the book and extract passages you believe may be appropriate to their circumstances. I say this because the Prophet Hosea is commanded to marry a harlot, referencing the turning away from a relationship with God.

You may not want to infer anything similar in this case and give offense. Hosea then takes his wife into the desert to woo her back; to remove the names of the false husbands [Gods] from her lips. There is some very nice language of love and committment to be found. Also, just the renewal of vows, respect for each other, love.

If you are not familiar with the Book of Hosea, you may have sung Hosea’s Song at Mass…“Long have I waited for your turning back to Me and living fully our new life”

Good Luck and remember that the prays you offer are the Best of the Best for them, as prayer can move mountains!
 
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