Difficulty Concentrating in Prayer

[mkorthodox]

Hello to everyone

I have joined this forum because every now and then during my googling of religious questions this site seems to show up. I am not Catholic, I am Orthodox however the way I have come to understand it is that we worship the one and only God in different ways. In this day and age, I think we are better and stronger together than squabbling over practices.

Anyway, I have recently started praying maybe for like a month now. I usually pray alone in my car before work as it is the most time I have to myself and I am able to explore religion to an extent. What I find it hard to do is actually concentrate on my prayers - not because of any physical distractions like a person walking by or anything like that, I struggle more with the mental side of it.

By this I mean, for whatever reason as I am praying I might have blasphemous and unwanted thoughts in my head which I try to rebuke at the same time as I am praying. The content of the thoughts is not important, they are distracting, upsetting, and the more I tell myself to not think such things the more I do because I have just told myself not to.

I have had some really good “engagements” of prayer where I have minimal to no intrusive and unwanted thoughts and then I have had very difficult ones where I tend to have to start the prayer from the beginning all because I didn’t like the way I pronounced a word and worrying God would be upset with my pronunciation, my appearance, my attire and if my religious bracelet was physically dirtied by germs/dirt which I cannot see.

Does anyone have any advice or a similar experience?
I tend to obsessively wash my hands and bracelet before prayer worrying about unseen germs. I worry I’m not making the sign of the cross correctly (like I push too hard on the top but not enough on the bottom side) and the possibility of offending God in my attempt to pray.

I am now 30 and have had such mental struggles since I was about 16 on and off but I always had little coping mechanisms and been able to distract myself from such guilt over the thoughts. because I know they are not from my heart so I was always able to do other things but it seems now that the guilt/frustration is hindering other parts of my life i.e late for work, mentally absent in relationships, and friendships.

 

[MeganCecilia]

Wow ! You sound a lot like me!!!

Have you heard of Scrupulosity? That’s what I have.

have blasphemous and unwanted thoughts in my head

I get that all the time. Just remember it’s random thoughts and not you. God understands that.

the more I tell myself to not think such things the more I do because I have just told myself not to.

Exactly. This is so difficult to do but you have to stop fighting by them. If you just let them come and go they will stop a lot sooner. By just saying things like “no no no” they won’t go away.

worrying God would be upset with my pronunciation, my appearance, my attire and if my religious bracelet was physically dirtied by germs/dirt which I cannot see.

This sounds like Scrupulosity to me. God doesn’t care about any of that. Remember the character of God. A loving merciful father. He is just happy you are coming to him in prayer. Honestly even if you were going to the bathroom God wouldn’t care He made you and loves you so none of these things are even the slightest bother to him.

I tend to obsessively wash my hands and bracelet before prayer worrying about unseen germs.

Have you ever seen a therapist? Not to diagnose you it just sounds like elements of OCD which you should go see a therapist for.

hindering other parts of my life i.e late for work, mentally absent in relationships, and friendships.

This has for sure gotten intense. I’m so sorry for how this is affecting your life. Please seek out a therapist. Also you may bring this up to your confessor. Have one confessor and don’t switch around if possible. Trust me that helps with things like this.

This is something that you can completely get under control. You will have a normal life again. God loves you very much

 

[TK421]

Something I’ve read is that a strong adverse reaction means those thoughts are much more likely to be persistent.

Like if somebody tells you not to think about a pink elephant, you’ll probably instantly imagine a pink elephant. So if you’re praying and these blasphemous thoughts pop up in your head, try just gently shrugging them off and not worrying about it, and then go back into prayer.

You should also look up a therapist for help with OCD and such.

Peace.

 

[1ke]

I am now 30 and have had such mental struggles since I was about 16

You would encourage you to speak to a mental health provider. These are signs of OCD, and they can be treated.

 

[brown_bear]

In vocal prayers it is really difficult to stay focused, I think that you have to patiently reject distractions but remain calm.

In mental prayer, perhaps it is easier to maintain attention - or at least it is so for me - but it is convenient to have good text to read one little piece at a time and from which to develop one’s dialogue with God, speaking to Him about Him, of us, of our loved ones. The best text is obviously Sacred Scripture

In my opinion it is better to reserve the time of the day when you are more lucid and calm, so for example I would exclude when you turn and turn the car looking desperately for parking or something like that.

 

[White_Tree]

By this I mean, for whatever reason as I am praying I might have blasphemous and unwanted thoughts in my head which I try to rebuke at the same time as I am praying.

That is your problem, right there.

If you try to suppress the thoughts, it will only lead to more mental turbulence. It is akin to attempting to make the waters of a lake calm by pressing down on the waves. That action only causes more waves.

What you need to do is remove your energy from the thoughts. Then they dissipate on their own. To do this, simply observe the thoughts, in a non-judgmental way, as something separate from yourself, similar to as if you were watching clouds. Do not feed them, and do not try to suppress them. Do not believe them or disbelieve them. Simply observe them, and let them go.

 

[Vico]

…

It may help to pray out loud.

Catechism of the Catholic Church

2702 The need to involve the senses in interior prayer corresponds to a requirement of our human nature. We are body and spirit, and we experience the need to translate our feelings externally. We must pray with our whole being to give all power possible to our supplication.

2704 Because it is external and so thoroughly human, vocal prayer is the form of prayer most readily accessible to groups. Even interior prayer, however, cannot neglect vocal prayer. Prayer is internalized to the extent that we become aware of him "to whom we speak;"4 Thus vocal prayer becomes an initial form of contemplative prayer.

 

[mkorthodox]

Thank You very much for sharing with me your reply.

On the one hand (the rational side), it’s like:
" yes, logically I know the thoughts are:

• not voluntary
• they are a product of telling myself not to think them
• they are a product of ant-God influences
  So stop getting so upset over the thoughts which are not genuine"

and on the other hand (the emotional side), it’s like:
" What?! Why would you even entertain such a thought? You better not ignore this because ignoring means you don’t care about God or respect God, you must demonstrate your disgust for the thoughts and prove you don’t mean those thoughts. And when you pray, you better not have any such thoughts and you better pronounce words correctly and if you don’t start again because you have already done/thought enough to disrespect God at least pray without causing offense".

 

[mkorthodox]

Thank You so much for sharing your reply with me.

 

[mkorthodox]

Thank you for sharing your reply with me. The OCD is on and off and I am working on it with a Psychologist / Psychiatrist

 

[mkorthodox]

Thank you for sharing your reply.

I must have forgotten to mention the car is parked or off when I pray

I am the sort of person that needs to turn the radio down to park the car…don’t know if I could comfortably pray while trying to park

 

[MeganCecilia]

Right. It’s the same exact thing with me too.

I think the key for me was working on my perception of God. He would never get upset at the thoughts you’re describing. Keep using your logic and don’t rely on the feelings.

Please bring this up to a priest too I think that’ll give you peace of mind to hear it from him also.

 

[mkorthodox]

Thank you for sharing your reply.

I have not heard that metaphor before about the waves on a lake and I like that metaphor.

“Do not feed them, and do not try to suppress them. Do not believe them or disbelieve them. Simply observe them, and let them go”

The above is a slightly different approach and I am eager to try it. “Simply observe them and let them go” could be a good approach as it creates spiritual separation between myself and the thoughts. In addition to that, “let them go” kind of is a way of showing no ownership of unwanted thoughts.

 

[drac16]

Satan wants you to take your eyes off of God and onto yourself. He’ll do anything to distract you during prayer. Now I’m not saying that you are possessed, but I do believe that you are having the fiery darts of the evil one come at you. Prayer is like a musical instrument. You will sound terrible at first, but as you do it more, you will get better at it (i.e. you won’t sound so awkward).

I know what it feels like to be spiritually attacked. Satan likes to tempt me with lust, to try to make me view pornography. Sometimes the battle can be so intense that I start to wonder if God even considers me one of His sheep. The book of James says “Resist the devil and he will flee from you”. When you are going about on your daily practices or are doing some errands, just ask the Lord to keep you from falling into Satan’s trap of feeling like you are doing everything wrong.

To focus so much on being presentable is a kin to legalism. Nowhere does the Bible say that you have to wash your hands before you pray, nor does it say to do the sign of the cross with a certain amount of effort. As I said before, the more you focus on yourself during prayer, the more Satan likes it. He’s trying to do anything he can to make sure you don’t pray. Don’t fall for his lies.

 

[mkorthodox]

This a very interesting reply.

I recall my High School Chaplin innocently chuckling and asking me “do you ever just feel like the devil is just trying to get at you” (he was motioning a dart being thrown).

I agree, Satanic possession is something extreme and that such behaviours (washing hands, religious bracelet, pendants) have elements of maybe the devil trying to create a rift between the person and God by making the person feel distant, unworthy and sinful so that they give up on God.

 

[blackforest]

By this I mean, for whatever reason as I am praying I might have blasphemous and unwanted thoughts in my head which I try to rebuke at the same time as I am praying.

I haven’t read the other 14 responses, which will inevitably address the scrupulosity component of your dilemma, but my priest had some excellent advice on distractions: They’re very often what you should be praying for or about! Yes - even if they seem “inappropriate.” If your mind drifts to worries and anxieties, it’s a sign to pray for God’s peace there, as well.

As one of our resident CAF priests once said, God is your loving father, not a bean counter. Be as gentle on yourself as He is on you.

 

[toddy]

Before prayer, make the cross with the holy water.

in that case I often say “By the precious of blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, I seal all evils voice from my ears and command all evil spirits must depart from me and my home at once”.

“By the blood of all martyrs saints, I seal all evils voice from my ears and command all evil spirits must depart from me and my home at once”.

Then sprinkle the holy water around.

there are a lot of other prayers.
Keep on prayers if they come back.

 

[VeryBlessed]

I write out my prayers longhand to God. I love doing this. It focuses my mind on Him and helps me think through my thoughts much more deeply. I also pray verbally of course but I love the greater depth that writing seems to open up to me. When I write I don’t so much go down a laundry list of requests. Instead I pray about attitudes in myself, inner struggles, spiritual longings, things I’m wondering about him, and asking him to help me love better. I explore him and myself.

 

[Katie777]

I would talk to your priest about it as some seems a bit scrupulous.

As for distraction maybe it’s just not the right time of day for you to pray.

Sometimes I am praying and a thought comes like (did I do the dishes) or( did my dh forget lunch) . Then i knew i had to set time everyday for devotions. I’m a list person so i carve out this important time .