Difficulty in vocation discernment

[vince2paul]

I received a reply from a vocation director:

"The issue of vocation is a complicated one. It takes time, prayer, and lots of efforts in discernment. Some clues are important. Like God calls you to serve his kingdom, and he has given you the charisms for that. So, there is the question, what do you do well for the kingdom? or what do you enjoy doing for the Kingdom? Then God does not call to impossible things. So if you dont know how to sing, God is not calling you to be a Benedictine. Aside from that you can already start discarding some options.

You can start working on those questions already. There are many religious congregations so discerning their different charisms is also a time-consuming task. I hope this helps as a head start."

The question is, how do I know my charisms? I don’t think I have any. It’s really frustrating, because I don’t know which religious order should I do discernment. Besides that, I can’t rationalize it why I feel attracted towards religious life. So I have difficulty when a vocation director asks me about it.

Is it possible that I misunderstood the Calling? Besides that, I don’t have any Spiritual Director and I don’t know how to find one. I’ve been praying for almost 7 months now asking God to help me to find a SD, but no answer.

It seems that all the priests in my diocese are busy, even the priests in my church, it’s difficult to talk to them because if I met him after mass, he’d just say “Hi, how are you?” then talk to other parishioners, I’ve not even answered!
I really feel left out.

It really makes me sad. I feel that God is calling me, but He doesn’t provide me with anything to help me to discern. What should I do?

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Yes, finding a spiritual director can be hard.

Do you have any retreat centers near you or any religious communities nearby? If so contact them.

As for which groups to discern, this is what I did. I looked though the internet and contacted many orders to get information from them. Then I looked at the information and tried to see if this was something I wanted to do and if I could see myself there.

You also need to keep an open mind. The Carmelties, who I am in the formation process with right now, teach in High Schools, run retreat centers, and staff parishes. They also do some other things but those are usually just one or two individuals rather than being a ministry of the province. I never tought I would want to teach in a High School but after visiting one of our High Schools over the break between semesters I have changed my mind and would not be totally agasint giving it a try.

Also keep in mind that as a religious you might be called to do something that you might not want to do, at least for a time.

 

[sklenko]

At many points I agree with you Vince2paul…Diocesan priests are mostly really overworked and busy to give you good advice from hindsight. Also because of this I prefer to talk about vocation issues with the religious…
Another problem arising from that, maybe special to me could be that the way of thinking of diocesan and religious priests is different. That´s why there are problems like in our country where some former parish priests after revival of religious orders (after Communism collapsed in 1989) entered the orders and this time may function as responsible for formation of new candidates. Anyway, that´s another point perhaps for a new thread.

 

[chicago]

The question is, how do I know my charisms? I don’t think I have any. It’s really frustrating, because I don’t know which religious order should I do discernment. Besides that, I can’t rationalize it why I feel attracted towards religious life. So I have difficulty when a vocation director asks me about it.

Maybe you’re called to be offering spiritual direction eventually, considering your identification of it’s need.

Seriously, it could well be that you are genuinely feeling a call to community life, but just don’t know where. Perhaps the answer is to “try it on”. Get in contact with some communities, visit ones that intrigue you, maybe ask to stay a few days. See if you feel it fits.

Other than that, I’d simply ask, “What do you like in life? Is there something which gives you genuine joy?” That may be a clue as to where to pursue.

 

[vince2paul]

Maybe you’re called to be offering spiritual direction eventually, considering your identification of it’s need.

Haha… I think so also, it seems that I have a very sensitive feeling that I could feel others’ feeling easily. Therefore sometimes, it’s difficult for me to ask for help.

Seriously, it could well be that you are genuinely feeling a call to community life, but just don’t know where. Perhaps the answer is to “try it on”. Get in contact with some communities, visit ones that intrigue you, maybe ask to stay a few days. See if you feel it fits.

Other than that, I’d simply ask, “What do you like in life? Is there something which gives you genuine joy?” That may be a clue as to where to pursue.

Well, that’s what happened, I don’t think I have any specific charisms. So I always have difficulty when being ask why I think I have the calling to be part of the religious order.

I really enjoy learning about Catholic teaching and do apologetic, because there are many people who are misunderstood about Catholic teaching. As what Archbishop Fulton Sheen said “There are not a hundred people in America who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions of people who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church.”

So actually, I stopped my vocation discernment towards priesthood/religious few months ago and learn more about being apologist. I was thinking of being an apologist. However, I could feel that the calling is still there!

 

[vince2paul]

Yes, finding a spiritual director can be hard.

Do you have any retreat centers near you or any religious communities nearby? If so contact them.

As for which groups to discern, this is what I did. I looked though the internet and contacted many orders to get information from them. Then I looked at the information and tried to see if this was something I wanted to do and if I could see myself there.

You also need to keep an open mind. The Carmelties, who I am in the formation process with right now, teach in High Schools, run retreat centers, and staff parishes. They also do some other things but those are usually just one or two individuals rather than being a ministry of the province. I never tought I would want to teach in a High School but after visiting one of our High Schools over the break between semesters I have changed my mind and would not be totally agasint giving it a try.

Also keep in mind that as a religious you might be called to do something that you might not want to do, at least for a time.

Yupe, I agree with you, that’s why it’s quite difficult. I’m also attracted to mendicant orders. However, from my observation, many orders do similar work(at least here!), especially Franciscan Friar. They do not have specific work, but “to live the gospel way of life.” Isn’t everyone able to do that?
So their ministries are quite similar to other religious.
Sometimes, it’s difficult to differentiate.

At many points I agree with you Vince2paul…Diocesan priests are mostly really overworked and busy to give you good advice from hindsight. Also because of this I prefer to talk about vocation issues with the religious…

I’m sorry, but I have to disagree with you. In Singapore, the diocesan priests are more willing to help than the religious priests. From what I understand, the religious prioritize their religious communities. So sometimes, I really think whether I should just become a diocesan priest.

Well, my parish is run by the Franciscan Friars and sometimes I feel that the parish priest & asst. parish priests are forced to do it. Once, the asst. parish priest grumbled because I asked him to baptize a patient in a hospital, telling me why I didn’t ask other priest instead.