Discerning and Dealing with Family

[ThereseAdrianna]

I am at the time in my discernment where I am praying about which of two communities to join. I am still living at home with my family. Living at home is a real struggle. I’ve grown a lot during my discernment and unlike how I used to be, I now prefer to keep to myself more, speak less, only when necessary, and to spend as much time as I can in prayer. However, in doing this my family thinks that I’m not treating them kindly and that they are not worthy to be in my presence. Am I in the wrong for keeping to myself, preferring silence and not spending as much time as I used to with my family because I’d rather spend my time in prayer? What they say that I’m doing is not even on my mind and I don’t think that. I don’t know what to think. I was always told by other religious that being with family can be very difficult.
It’s hard to explain it all but any advice would be appreciated. I just don’t know what to do or what I’m doing wrong or if I’m doing something wrong to make them feel that way.

 

[Lamentation]

I am at the time in my discernment where I am praying about which of two communities to join. I am still living at home with my family. Living at home is a real struggle. I’ve grown a lot during my discernment and unlike how I used to be, I now prefer to keep to myself more, speak less, only when necessary, and to spend as much time as I can in prayer. However, in doing this my family thinks that I’m not treating them kindly and that they are not worthy to be in my presence. Am I in the wrong for keeping to myself, preferring silence and not spending as much time as I used to with my family because I’d rather spend my time in prayer? What they say that I’m doing is not even on my mind and I don’t think that. I don’t know what to think. I was always told by other religious that being with family can be very difficult.
It’s hard to explain it all but any advice would be appreciated. I just don’t know what to do or what I’m doing wrong or if I’m doing something wrong to make them feel that way.

Well, just because you’re discerning doesn’t mean you can put your life on hold… At the end of the day, we’re all called to live in community, and right now you’re neglecting the needs of those in your current community (your family). Yes, prayer is important, but as St. Vincent Depaul once said, it’s ok to “leave God for God”. Often, encountering others can become your prayer.

 

[InThePew]

I am at the time in my discernment where I am praying about which of two communities to join. I am still living at home with my family. Living at home is a real struggle. I’ve grown a lot during my discernment and unlike how I used to be, I now prefer to keep to myself more, speak less, only when necessary, and to spend as much time as I can in prayer. However, in doing this my family thinks that I’m not treating them kindly and that they are not worthy to be in my presence. Am I in the wrong for keeping to myself, preferring silence and not spending as much time as I used to with my family because I’d rather spend my time in prayer? What they say that I’m doing is not even on my mind and I don’t think that. I don’t know what to think. I was always told by other religious that being with family can be very difficult.
It’s hard to explain it all but any advice would be appreciated. I just don’t know what to do or what I’m doing wrong or if I’m doing something wrong to make them feel that way.

It’s important to to overlook just how important family (and friends) are in vocational discernment. While spending time in prayer is obviously important, spending time with family is also important - we do not journey alone.

 

[farawayaria]

i think it was St Therese’s sister Celine who had to wait with her father before entering Carmel. in doing this she would devote her days to Jesus and to the needs of other people.
all is in the hands of God. this period in your life is happenening for a reason. maybe you should just plunge yourself into your family and show God that wherever He wants you to be, you will live life for Him wholeheartedly.