Hello, friend - I have found that when being called to become a Third Order Member and having to discern between 2 or more possible Orders, carefully pondering the requirements of each is essential. Since each Order has its own Charism, if one is truly and sincerely hoping to find one’s relationship with God growing and deepening over time, the Charism of the Order must speak to the heart of one’s personality as well as one’s reality.
Carmelites are a more Contemplative Order, as I’m sure you know. Perhaps an environment of quiet and prayerful reflection would be preferable to allow for more receptivity to God in silence. If one’s environment keeps one extremely active, maybe the more Apostolic Order of the two would be best. However, if one’s basic temperment is more quiet, but one’s present level of activity makes demands on one’s time and draws one constantly away from that quiet, the opposite may be true. Becoming a Carmelite might provide the way to constantly return to that quiet center within and refresh one’s spirit. These are some of the things I would consider.
A Third Option - Benedictine Oblates open the door for a life of both Prayer and Service and give one the space to write one’s own Rule of Life, according to the outlines of St. Benedict’s Rule. The emphasis is on prayer and work, Work is understood also as prayer when it is dedicated to God as such. The Divine Office is given a place of prominence and many Benedictine Monasteries even print their own version of it.
Of the Benedictines, their are degrees of solitude, also. The Camaldolese Benedictines lend themselves more toward the Contemplative, but even still do works and practice Hospitality, a Very Benedictine Charism.
Gob be with you in your process of Discernment!
