Discerning the priesthood and sexual sin

[scoobydoo6v92]

Sin, who told you it is sin? why do you want to become a priest? You did not say a word about it!

UMMMMmmmmm

Go and get a girl, marry her and have kids, be an apostle, preach the word of God to your colleagues, help the poor, pray and you are a priest, As S. Paul said (quoting by memory, I may be wrong) we are all priests. Forget about priesthood. I am not telling you to do that, but it is merely my personal feelings. Had you a true vocation you had the problem solved centuries ago as since the 6th grade things are on and off.

Maybe that was not what you wanted to hear but, listen, I am saying only my personal opinion which is worth what is worth…

Ready to help if you need.

:banghead:

Oh come on, We all have sins that we wrestle with. I have mine and I am certainly not letting them derail my vocation!!! If every priest was derailed from a sin they wrestle with we all would be in deep doo doo.

OP listen, if you feel called discern it and let God guide you. Yes daily prayer Mass and confession will help you to avoid the sins you wrestle with. Need to give it time before you just quit discerning. My advice.

 

[supertubos]

Shaw2122 How is your prayer life? You are right. You can’t defeat this. Not without God. All things are possible with Him. Battling with sin, and relying on yourself only, without asking for his help in my experience is a losing battle.

Keep away or at least Limit your time around anything that is a near occasion of sin. Keep your eyes pure. Keep alert and don’t entertain impurity in your thoughts. Try to pray when you do.

Go to confession and pray the ROSARY, daily or at the very least whenever you are tempted. If you don’t feel like it — and you’d rather give in — even more reason to pray.

It is a sin. It is of grave matter.

That would be a statement tha only God can make.

At least in the most traditional cathechisms yo have a sin you’ld have to have (sorry for my english): 1) grave matter; 2) full understanding; 3) full consentiment.

So: are you absolutely sure that in this guy, these 3 things joined? Are you inside his soul to know that? And last one, how is it a mortal sin if he wants, I repeat, he wants NOT to do it and still does. I repeat, he does not want, if he does not want are you sure there is full consentiment or the sexual pulsion is stronger than him?

Let’s not put sin on top of other peoples. Let’s take care of ours. This is God’d business not ours. He knows what goes on inside Human’s heart, we dont.

cheers …

 

[Kontrak]

That would be a statement tha only God can make.

At least in the most traditional cathechisms yo have a sin you’ld have to have (sorry for my english): 1) grave matter; 2) full understanding; 3) full consentiment.

So: are you absolutely sure that in this guy, these 3 things joined? Are you inside his soul to know that? And last one, how is it a mortal sin if he wants, I repeat, he wants NOT to do it and still does. I repeat, he does not want, if he does not want are you sure there is full consentiment or the sexual pulsion is stronger than him?

Let’s not put sin on top of other peoples. Let’s take care of ours. This is God’d business not ours. He knows what goes on inside Human’s heart, we dont.

cheers …

It is of grave matter and that is different then saying he personally is in mortal sin. That’s for him and his confessor.

This is derailing the thread.

 

[RevDrNorth]

Hello. I am new to this site and this is my first post. There may have been threads on something like this before, but this is my own personal experience. I have been discerning the priesthood for several years now. I has been in my mind since I was like in the 6th grade. I am 22 years old now and a senior in college. I have this strong feeling and desire that God is calling me to the priesthood, but the thing that seems to be holding me back is my problem/addiction to porn and masturbation. I have tried to stop many many times but it just seems that human desire always wins over. It seems physically impossible to stop masturbating. I have several good relationships with priests and the vocation director in my archdiocese so I am in constant contact with them on my discernment. Just wondering if anyone has advice for me? I also need prayers for my continued discernment, and I myself need to continue to beat this sin. Thanks for reading and God bless!

Supertubos is not correct that you would have had it whipped since 6th grade if you had a vocation. Nor is the rest of his advice about going and getting married a good idea either.

At this point there are two issues that need to be dealt with. The first is discerning your vocation to the priesthood. You need a serious spiritual adviser for that. The next is your porn addiction and that has to be dealt with regardless of whether you have a vocation to the priesthood because if you marry with this addiction it will lead to problems in your marriage. You are not the only person in the USA to be afflicted with it (I once read in Christianity Today that there was an organization for pastors who had the secret problem so it is widespread unfortunately).

My advice is to get Catholic Spiritual direction and also to call Focus on the Family focusonthefamily.com/. They have a lot of resources for all sorts of different issues and will help free of charge to point you in the right direction. They have a 1-800 number you can call for direction on many issues (right on front of web page). Good luck and don’t give up discerning your call BUT do work towards dealing with the addiction that will interfere with a priestly vocation or a family vocation.

 

[mlz]

Hello. I am new to this site and this is my first post. There may have been threads on something like this before, but this is my own personal experience. I have been discerning the priesthood for several years now. I has been in my mind since I was like in the 6th grade. I am 22 years old now and a senior in college. I have this strong feeling and desire that God is calling me to the priesthood, but the thing that seems to be holding me back is my problem/addiction to porn and masturbation. I have tried to stop many many times but it just seems that human desire always wins over. It seems physically impossible to stop masturbating. I have several good relationships with priests and the vocation director in my archdiocese so I am in constant contact with them on my discernment. Just wondering if anyone has advice for me? I also need prayers for my continued discernment, and I myself need to continue to beat this sin. Thanks for reading and God bless!

Prayers for you! If you are being called then He will be able to help you in your struggle. Be honest and humble and seek direction from a spiritual advisor. I do think you need to pursue this more, not to give this up as others suggest.

mlz

 

[Shaw2122]

Thanks all for the advice and prayers. Each of your insight has helped me realize I am not alone at this and there are people out there who are praying and looking after me to get through this. God will lead me through.

 

[mikedi33]

I agree 100% with the advice to read ‘To Save A Thousand Souls.’ This subject is addressed head on and it will help you greatly. As far as calling Focus on the Family they actually teach masturbation is normal and ok for guys your age. Of course the best advice is to load up on the graces you receive in Confession, Adoration, and the Rosary.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

Sexual sin can be an impediment because you must be in control of yourself somewhere along your path. I would not allow that to hold you back from discerning in formation though. I know many seminarians that struggles with similar issues. Maturity and love of Christ ultimately wins over such things. However, before you get ordained, you must make sure you can keep a promise of celibacy. It’s serious now. Marriage won’t stop it either. This is something you must work through, period. A large percentage of the population of men struggle with sexual sin. The numbers are increasing with women struggling as well.

Seek spiritual advice from someone qualified. And you don’t have to tell everyone about it. But you must be honest with yourself and while yo discern keep chaste.

 

[JoyfulLife]

Overcoming this addiction: ldolphin.org/mormon.html

For your computer, consider a porn filter.

A Sister that was on Oprah said of those that have had sex or any sexual activity for that matter, that you need to be practicing chastity for some time before becoming a Sister. I think it’s the same for Seminarians. Usually it is a mortal sin, so this is very serious.

Surrender to God. You will only overcome sin by getting strength from God. The more you try on your own, the more you’ll fail.

Praying for you.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

You are only 22. That’s very young and you have plenty of time to discern a vocation of any kind. Don’t shut yourself out yet. If you were 44, there might be good cause to be more concerned. A young man’s hormones are still strong at your age and by the time you reach an older age, assuming you practice discipline, you can get past this. Do it with help tough. Hold yourself accountable.

 

[jsaldar]

This sin is very hard to overcome. However, never give up hope. Pray that you can give up all attachment to this sin so that you can discern your true calling in this world.

 

[tonydavies]

You don’t need a sex addiction counselor or any other counselor because you have the most Holy counselor dwelling inside your very heart, the Holy Spirit.

It is an easy addiction to overcome with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Recall every day that he dwells within you.

Ask for Jesus to release the power of his Holy Spirit within you.

Promise the Holy Spirit that your body is now HIS temple and mean it,

Recall that truth often. When tempted recall that truth and very soon you will never be tempted again.

And you will make a wonderful priest. God bless you.

 

[Jim_Roberts]

You have totally missed the concept.

By what you are saying you are ABUSING Confession.

WHat you are saying is,well I can commit a mortal sin because I know I will be forgiven

WRONG MOTIVATION

 

[Andrew1980]

Shaw, I have similar struggles. I would seek out an SA group. I struggled from the age of 13 to 28 before I finally started reaching out to others. I am in a group specifically for Catholics. I have met priests in SA and know that various seminary’s are setting up SA programs for people struggling with lust.

I’ll keep you in my prayers. Remember, God often uses other people to do his work, so I would encourage you to not be afraid to reach to others for support as you have started to do here. After trying to pray my way through my addiction from around age 15 to 28, I realized that I had to take God’s help however he chose to send it.

 

[Michael19682]

I studied with a Buddhist monk once–not catholic, I know–and She said “There are those who masturbate and there are liars” Her meaning was clear. It’s very common. Also as people have pointed out, a likely impediment to your spiritual growth and goal of ordination. Frankly, it may at your age be hormonally driven–but there are ways to cope with that healthily. God can help you and he will.

Sorry I can’t say more, it would constitute giving psychological advice.

 

[TiggerS]

Thanks all for the advice and prayers. Each of your insight has helped me realize I am not alone at this and there are people out there who are praying and looking after me to get through this. God will lead me through.

A very wise and prudent conclusion to arrive at. And wisdom and prudence are two of the seven gifts of The Holy Spirit at Confirmation - and are powerful virtues. Catholic Discussion Sites can be helpful, they can also be discouraging - as you have probably already discovered.

From your opening post:

I have several good relationships with priests and the vocation director in my archdiocese so I am in constant contact with them on my discernment.

God is certainly looking after you closely since you have good relationships with priests and a diocesan vocation director. Be honest with them and especially in Confession and that you feel you may be called to the priesthood. Pray daily, every day - and especially before and after Holy Communion. Pray to Our Lady also, she is Queen of Holy Purity and the Mother of All Grace.

scoobydoo6v92 who is now a seminarian has given you good advice too. No one, I dont think anyway, on a Catholic Discussion Site especially should discourage anyone from a potential vocation to the priesthood or religious life - and especially in a Vocations Forum. We can only know half the story if that.

I think that posting onto a Catholic Discussion Site could confuse the issue with the advice and recommendations by those who are priests and a vocation director all of whom you are consulting - also your confessor in Confession. Be guided by them - they are God’s Gifts to you and a treasure they can surely be!

As an aside, since you seem to have good relationships with the above.
Priests and vocation directors etc. are not always infallible however as many stories from the lives of our saints can testify who had a difficult road into the priesthood or religious life. As long as a desire for the priesthood or religious life is present, keep pursuing that path.

TS