Discernment in Vocation - Married or Religious Vocation?

[Kima]

Hi.

Before I get to my point, I should let you know some things about me.

So, to begin with I would like to say that I, for most of my life have considered myself as a girl that are supposed to get married and start a family someday. I really haven´t spent too much time reflecting on myself in a religious vocation. Recently, I have started to think about myself in a religious vocation. It´s worth mentioning that I could possibly find it easier to live in the spirit of Jesus in certain ways if I choose such a vocation - but with other thoughts in mind I think the opposite.

Spending enough time in prayer is a thing I struggle with - and it would be a lot easier to do so if I become a nun one day. Maybe it could be easier for me to grow in virtue? - I´m not sure, but these are aspects I´m reflecting on.

At the same time I´m thinking about the promise of obedience. I would always want to work towards a pro-life society and human rights for the unborn, and in this area such as other things I´m very much sure of wanting to work towards - I would not want to be made silent.

For those of you who slightly knows me, I know that I´m young (17 years old in a few months) and don´t have to put in such an effort in trying to discern my vocation yet. Either way, I would like to discern it and become more sure of what is really God´s will for me. I try to pray about it, but I struggle to understand at times. I have been interested in Franciscan spirituality and I will attend an retreat at a Franciscan monastery in almost about a month. I hope that I would have some time there to spend in prayer about discernment of my vocation.

I would appreciate if you would choose to share your thoughts on this topic. I´m totally open for your personal experiences of discerning your vocation and advice on how to discern mine. I´m glad that you either way, spent some time considering this - as I haven´t shared these thoughts with too many people.

Thanks in advance! May God bless you all!

 

[Cloisters]

Assume a vocation to religious life, then discern out. If you’re meant to be married, you will know your spouse when he arrives. It’s just like priests stepping onto seminary property knowing that they’re supposed to be there. Or sisters/nuns stepping onto convent property and have a full knowledge that they’ve arrived home.

One thing I’ve noticed about discerners is that they seem to think that the religious themselves don’t have an inkling as to where God is calling the prospect. One of the nuns of the monastery I nearly entered told the novice mistress that I was to “marry the blacksmith.” Hubby didn’t become a blacksmith until we were living here in NC. And that was six years into the marriage.

So, please, assume religious vocation first. And look locally first, as well.

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/holyangels/id9.html/

 

[Kima]

Thanks

I will think and pray about it. I look forward to going to the retreat so that I may have some time away and at the same time discuss these thoughts with a priest. (If I still consider this).

 

[Jared2914]

Be thinking about which vocation will help you the most in your personal salvation and which vocation will help you lead others to salvation. That’s what a vocation is for, to get you to heaven and aid others on their journeys to heaven. In marriage, you will help a handful of people but in a very big way. In consecrated life, you will help many more people but mostly in a much smaller way. Looking at your strengths and weaknesses could help. Someone who has a hard time making decisions might be helped in consecrated life where most of their decisions are already decided by the order they follow and their superior’s directions. Someone who is very organized might do well maintaining a household in marriage. Of course, there are exceptions to all these.

God will always answer a prayer of discernment given enough time. It might take many years, but eventually you will have your answer. Do your best to be patient while praying to God, seeking advice from people, and continuing to read about vocations. Remember that it’s possible God’s plan is for you to pursue the wrong vocation at first. There have been seminarians who realized a few years into their studies that the priesthood was not for them. This is why religious orders have very long processes before a person has to make any vows.

 

[Bluebright]

Not to throw a spanner in the works but just so you are informed, if you do end up discerning marriage or not… there are Third orders and Secular Orders which you could still take promises or vows (secular institutes) and you may well find one’s affiliated or even part of the Franciscan Order, some of them allow you to be married within them. It may be useful to pick up information about this as it can also be part of the discernment process. At least so you are armed with all the options, rather than just part of the picture. Yes take your time and I’d suggest if you can a little regular time in Adoration. God bless you

 

[Jared2914]

Just wanted to add one more quick thing. At 18, you should contact the vocation director in your diocese. They can coordinate with you to find a spiritual director, probably a priest or religious sister. They will be a huge help with your discernment. With such a big decision, you want all the help you can get.

 

[Kima]

Thank you all!

I will consider either becoming a secular franciscan, regular layperson or a clariss - that is mostly what I´m considering. I appreciate that you all were sharing your thoughts, and I´ll keep them in mind

 

[Embertide]

I was in the same position when I was your age (I’m 23 now). The best advice I can give you is to discern religious life before going to college and racking up thousands of dollars in debt, which will prevent you from entering most communities. Go on come and see weekends, visit convents, and talk to sisters. If you decide that it’s not what God’s calling you to, you can always go to college and start dating—but discern religious life first so that there are no regrets down the road.