Discernment/School/Father

  • Thread starter Thread starter Sanctus
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Sanctus

Guest
I’m looking for some advice and some help…

I’m a 3rd year college student and I’m discerning a vocation to the priesthood. I’ve been discerning for the last 2 1/2 years and discerning “seriously” for the last year or so. I informed my family when I started seriously discerning and I was supported by everyone but my father. At the time I think he was shocked…so I decided to give him some time and pray for him. This last Janurary I brought it up again with him and he was vehemently against the idea of me even entering a community or going to seminary–to the point of cutting me off if I decide to take that road. This was crushing when he first told me…it hurts very much for a young man not to have the support of his father…but also it presents many obsticales in the short run: lack of family help, money problems, loss of family unity. I was wondering if anyone knows any orginazitions out there who help men in situations like these work out how to continue to discern while trying to support themselves? I’m in an akward situation where I need to be faithful to my school work, I must be faithful to prayer life…and in my situation I need close support (spiritual director helps here but I think I need someone to check up on me closer and more frequently) furthermore, this schedule dosen’t leave much time to get more sources of income to make up for where my father is withdrawling his support. What should I do?
 
Not that this helps, but I have the same problem though likely not as intense.
However, You have my prayers, I hope they will help
 
it mat be legitimate to Delay thi decision and just be close to God in all small things.
Dont know what 3rd year college is. In uk. Year 9, 13 yrs or uni? or 3 yrs after 16. sorry for not understanding that.
 
just saw Fr Mitch Pacwa at SA celebration of 25 yrs of EWTN, and he related how his father was totally against him entering seminary, and how he never even told his father until he was close to ordination. He entered minor seminary at age 14, which was common in those days (1963). Coming from a working class Polish neighborhood in Chicago, he parlayed his allowance and earnings at after school jobs into enough money to pay for seminary by playing the stock market.
 
40.png
Ursastar:
it mat be legitimate to Delay thi decision and just be close to God in all small things.
Dont know what 3rd year college is. In uk. Year 9, 13 yrs or uni? or 3 yrs after 16. sorry for not understanding that.
Click to expand...
No I’m in the US…third year University–I’m 21
 
Sanctus and Brain,
I do not recommend lying or deceiving your fathers, no matter the gain. What are you gaining? Another year at the University? Hmmm, the ends does not justify the means! I know it is hard and college is not cheap but have you ever considered that your dads may not really be prepared to cut you off? They may be saying this hoping that you change your minds. Have either of you sat down and really talked with your dad? Did you ever consider that God wants for you to have the experience of “not having” things just given to you? It really makes you appreciate your accomplishments when you do it yourself…it will even give you a total different perspective on the value of your education. I have a son that is a college student. I couldn’t afford to send him to school so he works 30 hours a week and goes to school fulltime. He appreciates his education much more than his best friend whose parents pay his way. Trust me, there is a maturity and deep appreciation for doing it on your own. Not to mention an understanding of the financial struggles people face. When I was left penniless I had no one to depend on but God…what a lesson I learned!!! Trusting in God has done so much for my entire family . The big joke in my family is that when I didn’t have the money for a bill or even food, something always happened like a rebate from the insurance company or even an invite to dinner. My kids used to always laugh at me when I would be amazed at these things happening just when I needed them and they would say something to the effect of: “How long did it take you to learn to trust God?” So now when I worry about something they remind me to trust by asking, “So how long did it take…?” Try trusting in God!
 
Did you try googling “Catholic Seminary Funding Scholarship Grants”? You will have to dig through it, but the money is there if you look for it. In fact, here’s the link:

google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-34,GGLG:en&q=catholic+seminary+funding+grants

My pastor worked construction during the summer to pay for seminary. Seminarians have all sorts of jobs, from shoe salesmen to garbage collectors. BUT if you contact your (arch)diocese vocations center, they will help you find the money if this occurs, and they should counsel you on how to proceed if your father means what he says… and perhaps on how to handle him now, with better techniques.

While I hope your father would reconsider his move, think of St. Francis of Assisi, who gave everything back to his father including the clothes on his back. St. Thomas Aquinas had a little set-to with his brothers keeping him out of the monastery for a couple years.

A lot of parents don’t see the vocation. They see extra school for more years than they want to pay for it. They see college as an opportunity for their kids to learn something that will bring in an income for the students as adults, and maybe so they won’t have to perform back-breaking labor. They also see the lost wedding, lost grandchildren, and hardship on the lives of their sons and daughters, esp. in this age of priest scandals, when a child is trying to discern a vocation.

If you’re 21 and in your third year of college, maybe your dad is having trouble seeing you finish things. Maybe he doesn’t have all the facts. Maybe he is just dead set against having you be a priest. But 21 is a legal adult, and your dad doesn’t owe you anything. If you leave your dad’s house, or if your dad is no longer supporting you, you no longer need his signature on your FAFSA, or anything else in the way of financial paperwork. It restructures you into an independent adult on government paper.

So be a man. 😃 Do your research, call your vocations office, and see what there is to see about funding a seminarian in your locale.
 
I will certainly pray for you. My husband entered a seminary also before meeting me and had the stress of his mother hating the idea. She hated, and still does, the Church. She would be mean to my husband and he was about your age at the time. He had grants helping him. He got no financial support from either parent, but by the grace of God got alone fine without his parents support. He had the Catholic Church helping him. As others said, there is help out there. Don’t give up and if it is the will of God for you to be a priest, you will be one and He will make it possible for you to afford it financially. Do your part and leave the rest in His Hands. As far as your father, pray for him and if you can, for my husband could not, talk to him. If he refuses to talk about your vocation, then pray for him and put the situation in the Lords’ Hands also. God Bless you and thank you for answering the Lord’s call. 👍 I will have you as one of my adopted seminarians in all my prayers.
 
Dear Brain and Sanctus…would you like your names to be added to the list of people thinking about entering the priesthood? We have a thread of perpetual prayer for priests/seminarians/vocations. It is meant to give prayerful support for all those in their call. You will find this thread in my signature. It would be a blessing for us and for you to do so! 🙂
 
Thanks for the prayers and support. I’d love for my name to be added to the perpetual prayer (not sure how to do that–do I just barge in on your nice thread?) Thanks again.

Peace,

Joseph
 
40.png
Sanctus:
Thanks for the prayers and support. I’d love for my name to be added to the perpetual prayer (not sure how to do that–do I just barge in on your nice thread?) Thanks again.

Peace,

Joseph
Click to expand...
Code:
Dear Sanctus…will add it right when I leave this thread…God bless you on your voyage…🙂 btw…you may join in prayer anytime…:bowdown:
 
Greetings Discerners,
Code: 
Many dioceses require a bachelor's degree before entering the seminary anyway.  So my advice to you is to stay in college, finish, and get independent of your fathers.  You may still not have a vocation, so I think you can in good conscience take your father's money in getting your degree.  

In the meantime, keep researching the support groups listed above and keep living close to the Lord.

You might also consider praying to St. Francis of Assisi for his intercession.  His father was not thrilled with his vocation either.  Another saint who comes to mind is St. Thomas Aquinas, who also had relatives opposed to his vocation.
 
i agree as the vocation may be another way to serve when it becomes clear to you again it may be the priesthood But When you are called. Stay open to His will, we cannot see where God may lead us in the future.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top