Discernment

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LuxDei

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Hello everyone,

For a long time I have felt a pull towards the religious life, particularly something along the lines of the Missionaries of Charity (Bl. Mother Theresa’s order that serves the “poorest of the poor,” in her words). However, before my recent conversion to Catholicism, I had been planning to marry my boyfriend (whom I have been dating for over 4.5 years, but we’re only 20, which is why we hadn’t married yet). He is a wonderful young man whom I would be blessed to spend my life with. I had been running away from any thoughts of the religious life for fear of hurting him…He has been abandoned by many loved ones in his life.

Today (10/4) I got up the nerve to ask how he would feel/what he would do if I were to pursue the religious life instead of marriage with him. Much to my (pleasant) surprise, he said that although he would be sad and struggle with it for a while, he thinks it’s a such a noble thing to do that he wouldn’t resent me or God over it. And I feel that that was a sign from God that I need to look into this (Another sign: When I called my grandma to tell her, she informed me that today is the anniversary of her brother’s (aka my great uncle’s) ordination as a deacon!)

As I said, he is an amazing man, and I would never want to raise a family with anyone else if that is indeed where God is calling me. But I want to discern whether that IS where He’s calling me or not…I could also see myself finding great peace and joy in giving myself to God and others in a different way, like becoming a member of an order similar to (or the actual one) the Missionaries of Charity and going abroad to serve the needy. Maybe I am called to marriage, and I would be thrilled to marry him and raise a big Catholic family with him (God willing), but I just know that if I went that route without ever fully surrendering my will to God’s and checking this OTHER route out, I would spend my life wondering what could have been and if this was my true calling.

If anyone has any insights that they’d like to share about this, I’m going to post a thread on the vocations board about my situation as well.

Bottom line: Please pray for my discernment, as I face a rather difficult choice here between two amazingly wonderful options. Also, please pray for my boyfriend, that God will grant him strength, peace, and happiness no matter what happens with me.

Thank you all so much, and God bless.
 
Praying for you, LuxDei, and your boyfriend.
:gopray2:
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.
 
Praying for you LuxDei and for your boyfriend that you both do what is God’s Will.:byzsoc:
 
I know you posted in the [thread=188887]Vocations Forum[/thread] that you are seeking a Spiritual Director – A very wise thing. In the meantime, I recommend and offer this prayer.

Lord,
Make your will plain to LuxDei.
If you are calling her to religious life,
Increase in her the desire for that, and decrease her desire to marriage.
If you are calling her to the married state,
Decrease in her the desire to religious life,
And increase in her the longing for marriage and the spouse you would have her join.
In all things, your will be done.

tee
 
***Lord, in you love for the Church, you provide bishops, priest and deacons as shepards for your people, and you call men and WOMEN to leave all things to serve you joyfully in religious life.

May thos whom you have raised up as servants of the Gospel and ministers for you altars show forth dedication and compassion.

May those whom you have chosen to serve you as religious provide by their way of life a convincing sign of your Kingdom for the Church and the whole world.

May those who are undecided about their vocation be guided by you Father through the intersession of the Saints and the Blessed Virgin Mary.

We pray this in Jesus Name… AMEN***
 
Praying for you and your boyfriend…

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen
 
Thank you all for your prayers. My former RCIA director wants to be my spiritual director, and I know she will be able to help me a lot. She is a wonderful, loving, holy woman. I will continue to pray myself about this.

Lord, please let me know Your will, and grant me the courage and virtue I need to fulfill it always in all things. Amen.
 
Keeping you in daily prayer, LD…please keep me in yours…
 
Isn’t it amazing how God can give answers that we expect not to be given. You are very lucky and this is a very hard decision for you. The young man really must love you to have given you that answer. I have been told many times that if you are called to religious life and choose not to answer that calling that you will never be able to find true happiness. I had a friend of mine who was an IHM who went through the same struggle that you are going through and someone gave her a book called “saying yes” I believe. If you can I would recommend you try to read it. Otherwise, know that you will be in my prayers. I think the order you have chosen to consider is a very good choice. The poor are very close to Jesus’ heart in my mind and so many of us even innocently forget the poor.

God Bless You!
 
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