Discouragement and God's will

[Grace_and_Glory]

Is it ever God’s will for us to feel discouraged? I ask because I’ve been quite discouraged for over a month now, and I’m beginning to feel like I’m supposed to be in this state right now.

Here’s why:

1. This discouragement doesn’t really seem to lead to despair. I am rarely tempted to think that my sin is so great that God can’t save me, and when I am, it seems to have only a superficial connection to despair.
2. The discouragement is most obvious when I pray, and prayer doesn’t make it go away.
3. I seem to have a peace with it. I don’t expect prayer to make me feel more encouraged, and I’m not disappointed when it doesn’t.
4. When I think that maybe God wants me to feel discouraged right now, it doesn’t make me bitter, but I can see how it fits in with His goodness.
5. I can see a purpose to this. I’ve been battling a particular sin for a while, and it seems like I am making progress, because the more noticeable forms of it seem to be less prevalent. Now, though, I’m seeing that it runs far deeper than I’d thought. I feel like this discouragement is God’s way of letting me get sick enough of this sin that I’ll be willing to endure whatever is necessary to eliminate it from my life.

Am I way off base here, or is it possible that God actually wants me to feel somewhat discouraged now?

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

5) I can see a purpose to this. I’ve been battling a particular sin for a while, and it seems like I am making progress, because the more noticeable forms of it seem to be less prevalent. Now, though, I’m seeing that it runs far deeper than I’d thought. I feel like this discouragement is God’s way of letting me get sick enough of this sin that I’ll be willing to endure whatever is necessary to eliminate it from my life.

Am I way off base here, or is it possible that God actually wants me to feel somewhat discouraged now?

I don’t know if discouraged is the right word, but I think I know what you are saying.

There are many sins that can be classified as addictive. No matter how hard one wants to stop, it seems to never end.

There are remedies for this and it starts with a huge act of humility - that is, to convince yourself, if you haven’t already done so, to find a single confessor and explain that this thing, whatever it is, is a habit or addiction. Do tell him about the progress, but also tell him how it seems to go downhill. Explore this yourself first.

Look to confess the attitudes leading up to it, not just the sin itself. Often times, there are sinful attitudes buried that require some reflection to find. Once those are addressed it makes it easier.

Either way, God’s love is unconditional. No matter what you do, He loves you. But He is also a just God. He appreciates those who put in a hard, full effort, than those who give up because it is too hard, or only fight half-heartedly. The effort itself is important to Him.

Consider weekly confession until it diminishes and with the same priest. When you know you have to go back to the same man repeatedly, it does give incentive to not sin in such a manner again. It makes you fight harder. If you are already doing that, I’ve got other ideas, if you want.

I’ve just overcome a long-standing issue myself and have been free and clear for over 2 months now. It is freedom!

I also found that by having on big issue hanging over my head and dragging me into confession all the time, I not only did not grow spiritually, I regressed. Once I conquered that sin, its like the dam broke lose and all these other things came flooding into view. Once they are in view, they can be dealt with. It has been really good to be able to move forward for a change and chip away at other things.

 

[Grace_and_Glory]

Thanks for your response.

Lux_et_veritas:

I don’t know if discouraged is the right word, but I think I know what you are saying.

I’m not sure if discouraged is the right word, either, but it’s the best I can think of right now.

There are many sins that can be classified as addictive. No matter how hard one wants to stop, it seems to never end.

There are remedies for this and it starts with a huge act of humility - that is, to convince yourself, if you haven’t already done so, to find a single confessor and explain that this thing, whatever it is, is a habit or addiction. Do tell him about the progress, but also tell him how it seems to go downhill. Explore this yourself first.

It was just a few nights ago that I realized exactly how deep this goes. I’d been confessing it before, but now I can give a lot more detailed description of exactly how it’s causing me to fall. I hope I will get good advice. I’m also planning on seeing a priest for a meeting soon. I’m not exactly sure if he’s my spiritual director or not, but I think it would be good to discuss this with him.

Look to confess the attitudes leading up to it, not just the sin itself. Often times, there are sinful attitudes buried that require some reflection to find. Once those are addressed it makes it easier.

Either way, God’s love is unconditional. No matter what you do, He loves you. But He is also a just God. He appreciates those who put in a hard, full effort, than those who give up because it is too hard, or only fight half-heartedly. The effort itself is important to Him.

Well, right now, the main problems ARE the attitudes. I’ve managed to root out most of the visible effects of this, to the point that even someone who saw everything I do each day might not pick up on it unless he or she was already very knowledgeable about how it manifests itself. One difficulty I’m having is that this sin is so subtle that I often don’t realize what’s going on until I’ve already gone too far. Thanks for your encouragement. I’m definitely fighting this. In many ways, that’s why I think this discouragement is God’s will, because it makes me absolutely sick of this sin. Part of me wonders if it might be like the dark night of the senses, but I don’t know enough about dark nights to be sure.

Consider weekly confession until it diminishes and with the same priest. When you know you have to go back to the same man repeatedly, it does give incentive to not sin in such a manner again. It makes you fight harder. If you are already doing that, I’ve got other ideas, if you want.

I’m going to weekly confession at the same church each week, but I can never be sure who will be in the confessional. I’d love to hear your other ideas, because I don’t want to make a priest have an appointment for confession with me each week if there’s already someone available.

Thanks again for your advice!

 

[Grace_and_Glory]

Just an update:
I’m pretty sure that whatever this is, it isn’t really discouragement, because discouragement is accompanied by a sense of wanting to give up. I don’t really feel like giving up praying or fighting the good fight. It was just within the last week that I realized more about what was going on spiritually, and since I’ve recognized the sin for what it is, I’ve been praying about it and really watching for it. Already, I’ve had my first sign of real progress. I’m not going to take that as a sign that I’m actually winning the fight already, but it is good to know that God’s grace is at work. I still don’t ‘feel’ any better, but it seems like my feelings don’t really matter much right now. I don’t know if anyone out there is really interested in this, but it does feel better to write this down.

 

[puzzleannie]

Demons of Prayer: Discouragement

temptation: perfectionism in prayer life
sources of discouragement- distractions, aridity, boredom, lack of external conditions for prayer
the cure: humility and perserverence
from Temptation and Discernment by Segundo Galilea, trans by ICS Publications, Wash DC

 

[Grace_and_Glory]

puzzleannie:

Demons of Prayer: Discouragement

temptation: perfectionism in prayer life
sources of discouragement- distractions, aridity, boredom, lack of external conditions for prayer
the cure: humility and perserverence
from Temptation and Discernment by Segundo Galilea, trans by ICS Publications, Wash DC

Thanks so much for posting this. It helped me see that what I’m dealing with isn’t discouragement by showing me what discouragement in prayer really is. I’m not sure what it is, though. I wish I could re-title my original post now, but what’s done is done.