Divine Mercy, St Therese ,and The rosary

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MamaJewel

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I feel like I’m dealing with madness. I converted to the Faith, practiced NFP, had more than half a dozen kids…and my divorce should be granted any moment now because the soon to be ex had found a co-worker and wanted to be with her instead of dealing with family. He used the excuse of “bringing her back into the Church” as the reason to be with her in the first place.

They have both prayed the Divine Mercy and rosary together for their intentions and I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if those prayers weren’t granted time after time. Some of my kids now tell me there is no God, or that if there is, He doesn’t play a role in our lives. Others ask me, “Where is your God in this?” or say to me, “God is like an abusive father.”

Plus, I feel like the church expects me to act like everything “is good”. Nobody wanted to get involved when this all started. Early on I approached 2 priests for help and they said they couldn’t do anything. At my son’s confirmation, I approached my Bishop and begged for a moment of his time.(He had given my soon to be ex, me, and our children a blessing at the beginning of the reception after the service.) I was granted 2 minutes to speak to him and I quickly explained the situation of the adultery. All my bishop could say to me was, “If he (my husband) is doing this, then it can’t be a valid marriage.” I was dumbfounded.

Needless to say, today is the feast of St Therese the Little Flower and it empowers the soon to be ex because it’s his girlfriend’s nameday. I had stormed Heaven’s Gates last night and today begging Father God to protect me from the madness of all this and to keep the judge from signing the divorce on the feast of St Therese or Our lady of the Rosary. While the marriage is done, I don’t need the ex feeling that his behavior is furthered condoned by God by having the divorce granted on his true love’s name day or on Mama Mary’s Day.

Honestly, I was a New Age pagan prior to my conversion. My life as a catholic has, for the most part, been a living nightmare since I came into the church almost 20 years ago. I had always tossed it up as a way to “offer it up” because of my past life. But I’m realizing more each day that I am a victim of spiritual abuse and it’s shutting my Faith down.

There’s way more to my story than just the divorce. I can’t understand the sickness of it all, especially the hostility or indifference by the priests and the church that I’ve witnessed/experienced over the last two decades. This wasn’t the image of the Church that I was presented 20 years ago as I began my Faith Formation journey. Maybe I don’t need to understand, but I’m feeling trapped and like I can’t keep pretending that all is well because I have Jesus. The church is failing it’s mission big time. Or maybe I’ve just been blind to the reality of western christianity all these years.

Has anybody dealt with multiple unhealthy, negative issues and persevered in Faith?

If yes, could you please share how God’s grace and faithfulness got you through? I’m not requesting that you share the details of your painful difficulties, rather I’m asking for the tools you used and the steps you took to persevere.

Peace

MamaJewel

Romans 8:15-17
 
Hi Mama Jewel, I sent you a private message. God bless you sister!
 
Be sure that God is with you during this difficult time. You have to have the confidence in Him to know he loves you and wants the best outcome for you and your soul.

This is a time for you to deepen understanding of how God works in our lives.This is a time for you to stretch your spiritual muscles. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what God is developing in you. You think preventing a divorce is the best thing. God knows better and is working behind the scenes for your ultimate benefit…

As for your husband and girlfriend–do you really think God had a hand in answering prayers that go against a Holy sacrament? What looks like something on the surface-is not always a result of prayer-in fact it may be the opposite.

There is also a time and place to discuss these things with our priests and bishops. So please make an appointment for spiritual direction, and perhaps a meeting with a marriage ministry. God also provides us with doctors too-so visit a Catholic therapist to help you through this.
 
hi mama Jewel, when I felt as though madness and insanity surrounded me, a book called the “imitation of Christ” by Thomas Kempis really helped me. I really recommend it. I know it can really be like that… If you ever read a book called “catch22”… That’s what it can be like… Things happening to you which are stranger than fiction, that you wouldn’t have believed, except you experienced it yourself!

Many people are not rational or honest, and yet the world praises them, while it ignores and/or persecutes those who see/say truth. It is a very good way to be close to Christ, because this was Christ’s exact experience remember. He was murdered by the Pharisees, highly respected and supposedly holy men. And it’s a similar situation you now find yourself in. Your closest friend now is Jesus. Anyway I hope you can find that book.

Also, during that time I prayed the divine mercy chaplets every day. I started to pray for priests… Because I felt so disappointed by them. After that I started to come across very good and holy priests. God opened my eyes, but he also showed me they need many prayers. It may be hard for you to say that divine mercy devotion without bitterness? Given your husbands behaviour… But I really recommend it. Maybe you can offer up that bitterness you feel for the priests and bishop you have met. But there are other devotions if this is too hard (and I think it’s fine if it’s too hard).

I think, forget about the date of the divorce and how yr husband might perceive it etc, just get out of his head and try not to think of his attitude at all. It’s too irrational and upsetting for your time. You may just have to accept that he will succeed in all he desires on this Earth, including a smooth road to life with his new girlfriend. Pray for him, and be afraid for him, for that may be his only reward.

You are in my prayers.
 
mommy_k said:
Be sure that God is with you during this difficult time. You have to have the confidence in Him to know he loves you and wants the best outcome for you and your soul.

Because I had experienced several horrific life experiences in my past, I started to question my Maker’s intentions for me and others as well. Coming from a background like mine, individuals will have distorted thinking when it comes to what love is and what it should look like. Often, attitudes, behaviors, and situations will be considered “loving”, when in fact, that is the furthest from the truth. it’s called trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome. For me personally, I began wondering if the “God” that I worshipped was a manifestation of some type of trauma bond to help me get through life. Fortunately, I did some serious soul searching and praying. I came to the conclusion that that there is a Supreme Being who loves me (us), wants the best for me (us), and Who is a victim of bad choices made by others, just like me (us). So recognizing that God is just as victimized by sins helped me reframe my perspective. But I did have to sit down in prayer with father God and explain that I don’t need to have terrible experiences in order to have the opportunity to be a better person. I can have a good, healthy, safe, positive life and love Him just the same.

This is a time for you to deepen understanding of how God works in our lives.This is a time for you to stretch your spiritual muscles. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what God is developing in you. You think preventing a divorce is the best thing. God knows better and is working behind the scenes for your ultimate benefit…

I don’t think preventing the divorce is best. In fact, this has dragged on so long that the judge just wants it over and done. Rather, I prayed that the judge would not sign the final dissolution on the feast of St Therese nor on the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. That way, dear ex won’t be further encouraged to believe that his match with the girlfriend is further condoned by heaven. I hope what I’m saying makes sense.

As for your husband and girlfriend–do you really think God had a hand in answering prayers that go against a Holy sacrament? What looks like something on the surface-is not always a result of prayer-in fact it may be the opposite.

I don’t believe that anything in life is random. I know what I suffered and endured so that my ex could be working for the company that he does. It is where he had met his girlfriend. Years before, he and I earnestly prayed for this job. Our family sacrificed so much so he could land that job, so that our family would be provided for. We were able to give talent and treasure to the Church because of that job. And almost a decade later, he finds her there. I certainly hope that God doesn’t have His divine hand in that situation. But who am I to judge God?

There is also a time and place to discuss these things with our priests and bishops. So please make an appointment for spiritual direction, and perhaps a meeting with a marriage ministry. God also provides us with doctors too-so visit a Catholic therapist to help you through this.
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Rest assured, I tried to make the appointments at the behest of my deacons. One priest spoke briefly to me over the phone and didn’t want a meeting, and another priest flat-out refused to meet with me or consider the situation. I was actually stupid enough to defend the Bishop’s lack of concern to my older children, who happened to see your perspective of it not being the right time or place. However, they unhappily pointed out that the Bishop is a trained professional, who happened to have a paid assistant right there with him. My kids perspective is that if the Bishop had cared about marriage, me, and our family, he would have told me to contact him at a better time and he would have had his assistant, at the very least, take my info and give me the Bishop’s contact info. I think I see their point now. Oh, and there is no catholic marriage ministry within 75 miles of me. I had connected with a local couple who once facilitated such a ministry, but all they could do was tell me to go to one of the local protestant church’s for help. Trust me, last thing I need to be doing when I’m in a situation like this, is defending the catholic church to a group of Bible Belt believers.

But I do truly appreciate your concern. I wish I had a Catholic place that provided the support you mentioned.
 
MamaJewel said:
Rest assured, I tried to make the appointments at the behest of my deacons. One priest spoke briefly to me over the phone and didn’t want a meeting, and another priest flat-out refused to meet with me or consider the situation. I was actually stupid enough to defend the Bishop’s lack of concern to my older children, who happened to see your perspective of it not being the right time or place. However, they unhappily pointed out that the Bishop is a trained professional, who happened to have a paid assistant right there with him. My kids perspective is that if the Bishop had cared about marriage, me, and our family, he would have told me to contact him at a better time and he would have had his assistant, at the very least, take my info and give me the Bishop’s contact info. I think I see their point now. Oh, and there is no catholic marriage ministry within 75 miles of me. I had connected with a local couple who once facilitated such a ministry, but all they could do was tell me to go to one of the local protestant church’s for help. Trust me, last thing I need to be doing when I’m in a situation like this, is defending the catholic church to a group of Bible Belt believers.

But I do truly appreciate your concern. I wish I had a Catholic place that provided the support you mentioned.
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Hi, just wanted to offer a perspective on your belief that nothing is random. I just do so because it may help your feelings towards God. Maybe God gave you and your husband the grace of this great job to provide for your family, because of your prayers, but he would NEVER have had the desire or plan that your husband sin as a result of it ten years down the track. However he has allowed him to sin because your husband has free will. Free will, in the scheme of things, does actually introduce a little bit of “randomness”. However God can make good come of sin, and he can make a perfect pattern out of the randomness. But sin is always abhorrent to God. Many of the saints have stated this. He doesn’t desire it or any of its terrible consequences for his children. He doesn’t cause it to happen, except indirectly by allowing us free will. It’s just that he is always there to pick up the pieces.
 
I am sorry that your local parish does not have resources for you.
You can visit your diocese home page online and see what is available in your area or talk to someone about this-it may be a phone consultation.

I noticed that you mentioned a past trauma-this would require a therapist to help you through this.

There are some very holy and spiritually grounded people here on CAF-some can be found in the spirituality forum, where the format is more about the spiritual side of things. They may be able to help you too with your faith and healing.

As for the date that the divorce papers are signed-the evil one can use ideas like this to shake your faith, confuse and draw you away from God.

Keep praying your rosary,-it is a powerful prayer.
 
Thank you to all of the people who have kept me and my family in prayer.

God granted my request. The judge signed the final dissolution on October 5th, so I’m legally divorced.

I took a moment to look up the saint of the day for Oct 5th. Her name is Saint Flora and she’s a perfect fit for my situation.She’s patroness of the abandoned, of converts, of single laywomen and of victims of betrayal. I stand amazed at God’s Mercy and Grace.

Now I can look forward to celebrating the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary and my child’s birthday in peace. Thanks be to God!

Please keep me and my family in prayer because my young adult children are being slaughtered spiritually. Two of my children can’t even go to Mass. They have anxiety compounded with no desire to turn to God for help when it comes to church. Over the years my kids took a beat down in the spiritual arena and “god” was used as the weapon.

Please, please pray that God will restore my children, myself, my ex and his girlfriend so that our lives give Him the glory He deserves. I know God wants the best for us…(to show His Goodness and for us to be reunited with Him in heaven one day.)

Blessings and Peace to each of you.

MamaJewel
 
Anger can be righteous and I definitely think your entitled to a strong dose of it right now. You and your children are in my prayers.

May God grant you the peace you so desperately need.
 
God is here for you, Mama Jewel. I’m so happy He sent you a sign via the feast day of St. Flora. I’ll continue to pray for you and your children. God Bless!
 
Mama Jewel it’s so wonderful to see your faith has been refreshed, I had tears in my eyes when I read your post, praying for you and your family, God Bless.
 
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