Divorce and children

[mcjk]

I’m currently going through a divorce me and my ex were never married but we were together for some years. now that she left she has took my kids and is not wanting to let me see them and is telling her attorney the oldest is not mine which is true but I have been there since before he was born she told me last year the youngest isn’t mine either… it’s been a heartache since this all began my question is would it be a sin to just back off and go on about my life it’s what my ex is basically wanting and from the way the legal situation is going it’s looking like its gonna turn out that way. I love both kids equally and it would be heart breaking for her to take one away from me but there is a chance both kids are not mine which would be even more painful… any insight is appreciated my decision to keep on fighting is only because of my faith but it has been shaken tremendously I’m just unsure if I quit now I’ll not only be regretting it but also in mortal sin

 

[PaulfromIowa]

The answer is that you should do what is in the best interests of the children. They are the innocent victims here. If you have had a good relationship with the children, you should try to continue that relationship. If you are not the biological father, it is possible that the courts will not grant you legal visitation rights, but it could happen. You can only try your best to maintain a positive relationship with the children.

 

[DavidFilmer]

…but also in mortal sin

It is not a sin to drop your battle to see someone else’s children. If, indeed, both children are not yours, you have no moral obligation to even provide for them (alimony, etc). (you may have a legal obligation, but not a moral obligation)

It is unlikely the Court will grant you visitation if neither child is yours. That would be like asking for visitation rights for a child down the street.

If you accept that the second child is not yours then you have no options other than asking your ex to share (it sounds like that’s not gonna happen either).

You could pursue a paternity test, which could give you leverage if it is positive.

 

[mcjk]

Thank you for the reply both good thoughts to consider I’m getting to understand my faith more(and the law I just turned 22) due to this situation I’m in.
I guess it’s more painful for me as I’ve been there for both kids and her since the beginning, just an expected turn in my life I had no control over despite my efforts.

A small prayer for me and my kids would be greatly appreciated.