Divorce and Remarriage - Turning Back the Clock

[gachristian]

This has been a confusing thing to me. My husband was married before and divorced. A few years later we met and have been married for 30+ years. He has just started going back to Mass. We both have attended Protestant churches (I still am). However, he is not allowed to take Communion. He told the priest he does not like the idea of nullification of a previous marriage because it is like saying that relationship never existed and he feels he has to “vilify” or “damn” his first wife in order to have the marriage nullified. We have friends who are Catholic and divorced and he nullified the marriage 3 children late (one was in high school). It has never made sense to me.

 

[Vanny]

I often wonder how the very Early Church handled this issue?
They surely had gentile converts from pagan Rome were likely on their 2nd or 3rd civil marriage. Pagan Rome had no problem with divorce/remarriage along with other things, sorta like today.
I’m talking about the very early Church before Christianity became the established religion.
Was the new convert in a 2nd (or subsequent) marriage required to put away the new spouse, return to the old spouse, or remain celebrate?
I do know the ECF’s were pretty unanimous in proclaiming the indissolubility of marriage, from what I can see-.
What about new converts where the water was already under the bridge so to speak, in the first couple of centuries after Christ?

 

[YADA]

I am a little confused by your OP. Are you a Catholic who divorced and remarried a non-catholic without receiving an annulment? That’s what I gathered …which would make your current marriage unrecognized by the Catholic Church …without an annulment.

However you then stated that your previous husband has passed away …and even though he has died you would need to apply for an annulment decision but your current husband will not cooperate …

Unless he also was previously married and divorced there is no annulment decision necessary for him to participate in. Your previous marriage ended with your former spouses death …thus you do not need an annulment …there are steps necessary to get your current marriage recognized but an annulment is not required.

 

[Stilldreamn]

I am a little confused by your OP. Are you a Catholic who divorced and remarried a non-catholic without receiving an annulment? That’s what I gathered …which would make your current marriage unrecognized by the Catholic Church …without an annulment.

However you then stated that your previous husband has passed away …and even though he has died you would need to apply for an annulment decision but your current husband will not cooperate …

Unless he also was previously married and divorced there is no annulment decision necessary for him to participate in. Your previous marriage ended with your former spouses death …thus you do not need an annulment …there are steps necessary to get your current marriage recognized but an annulment is not required.

Sorry for the confusion - I am a cradle Lutheran considering Catholicism. I was married previously, legally divorced, and that husband has since passed away. I remarried in 1983 and we have 11 children with his, mine and ours. This man, my current husband of 32 years, was previously married, legally divorced, and his first wife is still living. I understand that the possible impediment is with his first marriage.

I am attempting to clear these obstacles should my husband continue to be interested in converting. I have prayed for years that his heart might be softened from his stance against “organized religion.” I would hate for him to just give up.

I hope this clears up my/our marital status.

I would add that there are no Catholics or Catholic marriages involved. My current husband and I had a civil ceremony.

 

[YADA]

Sorry for the confusion - I am a cradle Lutheran considering Catholicism. I was married previously, legally divorced, and that husband has since passed away. I remarried in 1983 and we have 11 children with his, mine and ours. This man, my current husband of 32 years, was previously married, legally divorced, and his first wife is still living. I understand that the possible impediment is with his first marriage.

I am attempting to clear these obstacles should my husband continue to be interested in converting. I have prayed for years that his heart might be softened from his stance against “organized religion.” I would hate for him to just give up.

I hope this clears up my/our marital status.

Yes thanks …I reread your OP and see that it was his marriage …I will pray for all of you …

Blessings

 

[CommonWeal]

Sorry for the confusion - I am a cradle Lutheran considering Catholicism. I was married previously, legally divorced, and that husband has since passed away. I remarried in 1983 and we have 11 children with his, mine and ours. This man, my current husband of 32 years, was previously married, legally divorced, and his first wife is still living. I understand that the possible impediment is with his first marriage.

I am attempting to clear these obstacles should my husband continue to be interested in converting. I have prayed for years that his heart might be softened from his stance against “organized religion.” I would hate for him to just give up.

I hope this clears up my/our marital status.

I would add that there are no Catholics or Catholic marriages involved. My current husband and I had a civil ceremony.

God bless you. It sounds like the truth, with all its striking beauty, has piqued your husband’s interest in the Catholic religion. The fidelity of the Catholic Church to the difficult but authentic teachings of Jesus Christ on marriage is what convinced me, years ago, that the Catholic Church was the true Church. For no other religion on the planet preaches as she does!

Keep praying for your husband, and keep feeding him the fullness of truth, if indeed his soul is yearning for it now. This will be a trying time for both of you! I know, because my wife was a former Lutheran (LCMS) who had many intellectual and spiritual roadblocks that prevented her from accepting the Catholic Faith.

You might even pick up a copy of that new book on marriage, Remaining in the Truth of Christ, and read it together. I’m sure it’s a gem.

To get to the heart of your question, the process of healing from divorce - in light of truth - is always penitential and difficult for everyone involved to varying degrees. Individual circumstances will always differ, but in my opinion, they should never get in the way of discovering the truth. Remember, if you go down this path, you must be prepared to live with the truth once it is known. However, before any serious talk of annulment can be had, both you and your husband must first sincerely desire to be Catholic! If that is where God is leading you, then continue to cooperate with Him and trust in His goodness and mercy.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Does anyone know how many forms of annulments there are and what the difference is. I thought there was just one form but someone mentioned they would have to do a long form? Is there a short form for certain cases?

 

[Vanny]

7 sorrows I’m not a RC but my I’ve been looking into it as dh and I are studying the Catholic faith(and looking into what kind of from we would need). I believe (someone may correct me on this) that someone who was baptized and confirmed Catholic but marries outside the church(i.e. civil ceremony) or in another non Catholic Church without dispensation may be eligible for the short form as the marriage would be automatically presumed to be invalid. But I may be wrong about that.

 

[7_Sorrows]

7 sorrows I’m not a RC but my I’ve been looking into it as dh and I are studying the Catholic faith(and looking into what kind of from we would need). I believe (someone may correct me on this) that someone who was baptized and confirmed Catholic but marries outside the church(i.e. civil ceremony) or in another non Catholic Church without dispensation may be eligible for the short form as the marriage would be automatically presumed to be invalid. But I may be wrong about that.

I believe you are right on this. Thank you.

 

[Usige]

7 sorrows I’m not a RC but my I’ve been looking into it as dh and I are studying the Catholic faith(and looking into what kind of from we would need). I believe (someone may correct me on this) that someone who was baptized and confirmed Catholic but marries outside the church(i.e. civil ceremony) or in another non Catholic Church without dispensation may be eligible for the short form as the marriage would be automatically presumed to be invalid. But I may be wrong about that.

Vanny, you are correct. There are also prior bond, aka ligamen, cases that would follow the same administrative “short form”. Both are based upon documentary evidence and don’t necessarily require a trial. Because the grounds are clearly shown via documents there is not a need for the interviews and in depth investigation as required for petitions based on defect of consent.

It should be noted that the person does not need to be confirmed in the Catholic Church to be bound by the requirement to be married before a member of the clergy. Simply being baptized in the Catholic Church binds one to observe canon law.

 

[Mystophilus]

What can be done, realistically? Are we just a lost generation with no way home?

Believe in this God:
2Ch 30:18 For a multitude of the people, even many of Ephraim, and Manasseh, Issachar, and Zebulun, had not cleansed themselves, yet did they eat the passover otherwise than it was written. But Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, The good LORD pardon every one
2Ch 30:19 That prepareth his heart to seek God, the LORD God of his fathers, though he be not cleansed according to the purification of the sanctuary.
2Ch 30:20 And the LORD hearkened to Hezekiah, and healed the people.

Jesus says that divorce is not right, but there is a huge difference between God telling you that something is bad and God telling you that you are going to be cast into the fires of eternal torment because you messed up your life.

How do other faith communities handle divorce and remarriage?

Well, we Anglicans were famously founded over this very issue, but GKC can explain Henry’s Great Matter in more detail than I.

These days, it generally seems to be about treating the whole thing as carefully and conscientiously as possible, especially where there are issues of abandonment, elapsed decades, children of multiple marriages, etc. It is not a realm for hamfistedness.