Divorce and Seperation for non-Catholics

[LostAndFound]

Hello Everyone,

I have a sister who is going through a very tough time in her marriage. Verbal abuse, threats, (no physical abuse)

Neither her nor her husband are Catholic and were married in a Methodist church.

My sister is receiving advice from counselors to seperate and/or file for a civil divorce. The problem is when she asks me, I am not sure how to counsel her on the question of divorce and/or seperation. I can’t see living and bringing up the children in an abusive environment and seperation seems like a good idea, if for no other reason but to send a wakeup call to her husband.

What is the Church’s position in cases like this?

 

[urquhart]

It is not separation or divorce that are potentially sinful, but getting intimately involved with someone else after being sacramentally married. In this case, it is unlikely that they are sacramentally married, and a real question whether they know that separation or divorce could lead to sinful relationships with other people, so I doubt whether they have moral culpability.

 

[BlestOne]

LostAndFound:

Hello Everyone,

I have a sister who is going through a very tough time in her marriage. Verbal abuse, threats, (no physical abuse)

Neither her nor her husband are Catholic and were married in a Methodist church.

My sister is receiving advice from counselors to seperate and/or file for a civil divorce. The problem is when she asks me, I am not sure how to counsel her on the question of divorce and/or seperation. I can’t see living and bringing up the children in an abusive environment and seperation seems like a good idea, if for no other reason but to send a wakeup call to her husband.

What is the Church’s position in cases like this?

Lost and Found…I don’t know about you but I find verbal threats more damaging than physical threats. I may be wrong but I would advise her to separate but not divorce since he has not escalated to physical abuse. If he is interested in reconciliation with her then she should insist upon marriage counselling and possibly individual counselling for anger management. When my ex was verbally abusive with me I stayed with him until I realized that by staying with him it was saying “Go ahead and treat me this way, you will suffer no ill consequences and I will just live a miserable existence hoping you change” Which we all know won’t happen…people don’t change a behavior unless they are no longer receiving the desired result. Pray for her and with her. It is not easy to make tough decisions like this but trust me the next step is physical abuse…and nobody deserves that!

 

[puzzleannie]

if verbal abuse and threats have always been a pattern, escalation to physical, or more severe psychological abuse is only a matter of time. Whatever course she takes should include mandatory counselling for both and anger management for him. Children’s welfare comes first, they must be removed from an abusive environment.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

It’s never been about the divorce, it’s been about remarriage and its preliminaries. And in time, with prayer, well, maybe your sister will join us! But for safety’s sake, when she can leave safely with her children (and if possible, important info regarding bank accounts, his social security number, etc.), she should do so.

 

[LostAndFound]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I did not understand my and her Moral obligation. My sister and my Neice and Nephew’s safety comes first, but when it comes to sepeartion versus divorce, I was lost on what to say.

Your replies have helped and please keep her in your prayers.