Divorce, how to handle within the church

[vsedriver]

In my case my exwife refused to go to church, did not want children, and she then developed an interest in someone else. I did all to make the marriage work, how could they require additional counseling for me in that case? I am not the one who strayed away.

not wanting children is grounds for annulment. You must be open to having children to have a valid marriage.

 

[TimothyH]

Will I have a problem getting this process done? This scares me as I’m 30 years old and don’t want to not be able to get married.

David, first of all, it is awsome that you have a desire to live your life within the framework of the Church which Christ has given us. It isn’t aways easy. In fact, Christ promised us that it would not be easy. I am going through anullment myself after my wife walked out of our 16 year marriage. Not easy at all…

The problem here is that marriage is a sacrament and the two of you took part in that sacramental bond. Whether it was done inside a Church or outside of the Church is not really important as the Church views all marriage as a sacrament.

So make an appointment to see your parish priest or deacon. There will be some paperwork and it may cost you a few dollars but they usually waive the cost if you are experiencing financial hardship. It does take time but the Church has people who do this all the time. They will interview everyone and come to a determinatoin of whether there was indeed a marriage or not in the first place.

Be patient, pray a lot and trust God. It’s not an overnight process but you will come out on the other side much wiser and stronger, with a deep understanding of what was wrong with your first “Marriage” and what it marriage really means.

-Tim-

 

[smichhertz]

Ok, I spoke with my priest, he was luckily available. He says there is nothing that needs to be done, he said the church doesn’t recognize the marriage, as far as the church is concerned it never happened and I was living in sin while civially married.

What the priest told you is incorrect. It is true that the procedure should be relatively quick, but it does need to be done in advance. Call your diocese, or go to another parish.

You could also try calling here to get more advice (I just googled it, so take it as it is) :
canonlawprofessionals.com/contact.html

 

[Phemie]

Call your diocese then or go to another parish. A documentary case does need to be filed.

That depends on the diocese. In ours the priest just records the relevant information, with pertinent documents, during the pre-nup investigation.

 

[Seatuck]

That depends on the diocese. In ours the priest just records the relevant information, with pertinent documents, during the pre-nup investigation.

I’ve never heard of a diocese in the US that doesn’t require the paperwork to be filed.

 

[jmcrae]

Not so. His marriage is not presumed valid.

Because of the (admittedly remote) possibility that permission was obtained from the Bishop to marry outside the Church, by one party to the marriage, without informing the other party that permission had been obtained, even an “obvious” case like this one needs to be investigated. The investigation would be really short - they would just contact the Bishop’s office in the Diocese where the wedding took place, ask if there is any record of permission being given for that particular wedding - no? Okay - and then they would write a Decree of Nullity.

But, if “yes,” (and it could happen, in theory - probably has once or twice in our 2,000 year history) then the marriage is valid - which is why even in “obvious” cases, there needs to be an investigation.

Some dioceses don’t even require that it be submitted to the Tribunal, the paperwork is done at the parish level during the prenuptial investigation.

Um - if people are doing that, it’s not with the permission of their Bishops.

 

[joandarc2008]

Call your diocese then or go to another parish. A documentary case does need to be filed.

This varies from diocese to diocese, Seatuck. A lack of form is not something that is required everywhere. If David does ends up discerning marriage later in another diocese he may have to submit that paperwork in that diocese in order for the procedures to be followed under that episcopate.

This is the link to the Canon Law on Marriage

You can follow your priest on this provided you were a) baptized Catholic b) married civilly and c) divorced civilly.

 

[joandarc2008]

not wanting children is grounds for annulment. You must be open to having children to have a valid marriage.

This is way off topic of the original lack of form question but yes in a full decree of nullity yes they may require counseling prior to marriage - if anything just to make sure that there is no anger, psychological problems, issues with communication, etc. This process is not about blaming the spouse it is about looking at the bond.

 

[Phemie]

Um - if people are doing that, it’s not with the permission of their Bishops.

Actually, yes it was at his request.

 

[brb3]

This is true when 2 non-Catholics marry.
However, Catholics are bound to marry according to Catholic cannon. So if as a Catholic, he married outside of the Catholic Church without receiving dispensation to do so, his marriage is not considered valid by the church. He needs to speak with his priest about receiving a lack of form decree of nullity.

Well … its a marriage, just NOT a SACRAMENTAL one. Valid vows were exchanged by two Baptized Christians.

It would be nonsensical to say to that Protestant/Protestant church marriages are valid … while Catholic/Protestant marriages in the same Protestant church are invalid.

 

[Vico]

brb3,

… It would be nonsensical to say to that Protestant/Protestant church marriages are valid … while Catholic/Protestant marriages in the same Protestant church are invalid.

The Catholic Church has defined natural marriage (one or none baptized) and sacramental marriage (both baptized). For at least one Catholic, to be sacramental it has to be with approval of the Church and between baptized man and woman. For other churches the Catholic canonical form is not required. And interestingly when a Catholic and Orthodox marry in the Orthodox Church, it is valid.

From Archdiocese of Los Angeles
archdiocese.la/prayer/sacraments/tribunal/ministers/form.html

If a Latin Catholic married an Orthodox Christian in an Orthodox Church on or after March 25, 1967, a Lack of Form case does not apply (Crescens matrimoniorum, 22-ii-1967).

If an Eastern Catholic (except a Ukrainian Catholic) married an Orthodox Christian in an Orthodox Church on or after January 21, 1965, a Lack of Form case does not apply (Vatican Council II, Orientalium Ecclesiarum, 21-xi-1964). For Ukrainian Catholics, the applicable date is April 7, 1965.

If the marriage took place on or after October 1, 1970, it is necessary to clarify whether a “dispensation from canonical form” was granted for the marriage (Matrimonia mixta, 31-iii-1970, and canon 1127). If it was, the case becomes a Formal Trial rather than a Lack of Form case. The current of Form petition asks this question.

If the marriage took place on or after November 27, 1983, it is also necessary to ask if the Catholic party to the union had “formally” left the Catholic Church (e.g., enrolled in another Christian denomination or made a formal profession renouncing the faith; canon 1117). If something like this took place, a Lack of Form case might still be possible, but the circumstances surrounding the person’s decision to leave the Catholic Church would have to be assessed by the Office for Canonical Services.

Note: Dec 21, 2010 no more consideration of formal defection from the Catholic faith.