…It seems to me that the Catholics didn’t have jurisdiction over how we got married, and now they should accept it as they would any other Protestant Marriage.
Richard,
First of all, God’s blessing on your return to the Eucharist and the life of the Church. You have received some sound counsel so far. I strongly encourage you to speak with your parish priest, since advice and discussion on internet forums have profound limitations in many ways.
Objectively, the law of the Church continued to exercise jurisdiction over both of you (c. 1059). Even baptism in a protestant community, which would not be considered valid from a Catholic perspective since the sacrament can only be administered once, was insufficient to change that. Now could habitual defection from the Catholic Church by itself do so. See side comments below at asterisk.
To receive the Eucharist, it will be necessary that your present marriage be made “regular” in the Church. From what you describe, the Church would not consider that you are in a valid marriage, and conjugal relations would be considered objectively sinful.
This can happen, after the pre nuptial investigation of freedom to marry, proper preparation for the sacrament acording to proper law (usually, read “diocesan law”), and the granting of any needed dispensations or permissions, by exchanging marital consent before an authorized priest or deacon and two witnesses. That is what we call canonical form. It is no different juridically from any other proper Catholic celebration of marriage. (It is commonly called “convalidation,” although it is not one in the technical sense. It is just an efficacious celebration of marriage to remedy the fact that the first one was not efficacious.) It does not have retroactive results.
Another way is through a radical sanation, which is in the nature of a favor from the diocesan bishop. Some will grant it in a case similar to yours, and some will not. It would be more typically granted when a non Catholic is one of the parties and is not willing to give marital consent in a Catholic ceremony of marriage. The pastor will know what the outlook of your diocesan bishop is on the matter, since he possesses discretion to grant or to not grant this favor. Unlike the first option above, a radical sanation does have retroactive effects in canon law.
*What you appear to have done is to defect, but not through a formal act. Only a formal act of defection from the Catholic Church, which requires not only that you place it but that it be received by the ordinary or proper pastor, would have excepted you from the Catholic form of marriage and only two other ecclesiastical laws regarding marriage. You would have remained subject to all other ecclesiastical laws. Since you have not make mention of that, I should think it is irrelevant.
However, as your wife appears to remain attached to a non Catholic ecclesial community, the permission of the local ordinary will be necessary (c. 1071§2). The priest can help with that.
